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Advice to Gore: Be a Bore
By Jeremy DerfnerUpdated Friday, June 23, 2000, at 9:30 PM ET

New Republic, July 3
A pair of cover pieces advises Gore to be negative and dull. One argues that Al Gore should run a negative campaign because he's good at it and because as a quasi-incumbent he'll fare better picking apart George W. Bush's new policy proposals than trying to repackage old Clinton-Gore ideas. ... The other tells Gore to stop pretending he's not boring. A boring policy Gore highlights Bush's lightweight status, while a fake gregarious Gore comes off as disingenuous. … An article casts now-discredited Energy Secretary Bill Richardson as Clinton's victim. Clinton had Richardson take over the political graveyard that is the Energy Department in order to fill an informal Hispanic quota, and now Richardson's career is probably over because of the department's predictable failings. (Read David Plotz's "Assessment" of Richardson here.)

Atlantic Monthly, July 2000
Speaking of Al Gore's negatives, the cover story explains why Gore is such a great debater. He's only lost once—to Dan Quayle—because he's obsessive about preparation and will do whatever it takes to win, including stretch the truth and intentionally annoy or offend his opponents. Watching Gore debate makes you respect his ability more but like him less. ... A piece laments the number of stolen pets sold to labs for research purposes. Scientists and government investigators look the other way, and the biomedical research lobby buries anti-pet-theft legislation in Congress.

Economist, June 24
The cover story argues that Mexico's PRI is finally losing power after 70 years. A rapidly modernizing economy is rendering the party's tactic of giving away land in the rural south increasingly ineffective, so a victory in next week's elections will probably be the party's last. ... An article claims that human trafficking is now bigger business worldwide than drug trafficking. Crime syndicates earn as much as $20 billion a year smuggling people across borders, and no one has any idea how to stop it. ... A piece suggests that Zimbabwe's opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) could win this weekend's elections despite Robert Mugabe's state-sponsored terrorism to destroy it. MDC is running candidates in every constituency (though many are in hiding), and a recent poll showed MDC winning 70 out of 150 seats in parliament.

New York Times Magazine, June 25
The cover story visits a Pakistani "jihad factory," an Islamic seminary where students learn nothing but the Koran, are indoctrinated to revere terrorist Osama Bin Laden, and urged to carry on eternal war against Serbia, Russia, Israel, the United States, and the anti-Taliban northern alliance in Afghanistan. A million men attend such madrasas in Pakistan. … Several actresses debate getting naked in movies. Sarah Jessica Parker won't, Sandra Bernhard will, and Rosie Perez thinks Blue Velvet had the best nude scenes ever. … An article decries the state-sanctioned terrorist campaign against Zimbabwe's 4,000 white farmers and the democratic opposition to President Robert Mugabe. Afraid of losing power, Mugabe declared white farmers enemies of the state and gave "war veterans" free rein to seize farmland and intimidate opposition party members, at least 30 of whom have been murdered so far. (Click here to read David Plotz's recent "Assessment" of Mugabe.)

Texas Monthly, July 2000
One piece in the cover package describes how George W. Bush can win, the other suggests it will be a catastrophe if he does. … The Bush strategy article urges Dubya to stick to the compassionate conservative message. By rolling out aggressive policy proposals he combats the Bush-is-stupid conventional wisdom and sloughs off Republicans-are-for-the-rich stereotypes. But if he runs on image, as he did in the primaries, he will highlight his immense inexperience and his elite pedigree. … The other piece collects withering observations from top Texas Democrats. Former Clinton adviser Paul Begala calls Bush "lighter than my grandma's biscuits," and former Democratic gubernatorial nominee Gary Mauro says he "never met a politician with less passion about the issues than George W. Bush."

Time and Newsweek, June 26
Both newsmags go fluffy for the slow news week. Newsweek's cover story, which reads as though plagiarized from People, profiles Prince William. Many photos of him playing soccer, cooking, etc., accompany. The gorgeous prince charming is the great PR hope of the awkward royal family. The story attempts to create drama by noting that William hates the media that hounds him and contributed to his mother's death. … Time is the latest of countless magazines to note the rise of voyeur television. The cover story on Survivor and the upcoming Big Brother argues that VTV capitalizes on our fear of lost privacy in the wired world and the immense interest in memoirs by regular people (Frank McCourt). But ultimately VTV will just be a fad.
Time describes how vigilante ranchers patrolling the U.S.-Mexico border are rounding up illegal Mexican immigrants with machine guns and in a few cases even shooting them. … A piece suggests that police failed to act decisively during the Central Park wildings because they are paranoid about brutality claims. Officers were reluctant to disrupt the Puerto Rican Day Parade or arrest minority hooligans for fear of being labeled racist.
A Newsweek article doubts that a woman will be president any time soon. Though women vote more often than men, older women disapprove of women candidates and younger women resent openly feminist politics. There is little chance that either presidential candidate will choose a female running mate, but if Al Gore loses and Hillary Clinton wins, she could run for the White House in 2004.

U.S. News & World Report, June 26
The cover story claims the retro car boom (the Volkswagen Beetle and the DaimlerChrysler PT Cruiser) is being driven by empty-nest baby boomers. Boomers, who once popularized minivans and sport utility vehicles, are buying flashy performance cars now that they are done paying for their kids' education. … A piece on the $50 million Mafia stock swindle says that organized crime families have been scamming on the margins of the securities market for a decade because old standbys like loan sharking and gambling have fallen out of favor. … An article says that nuclear security has become embarrassingly lax because America overdid post-Cold War reforms, and the switch to computers makes stealing data quicker and easier.

The Nation, July 3
The cover story profiles Marxist radical turned conservative activist David Horowitz. After becoming disillusioned with the Black Panther Party in the wake of a 1974 murder, the former editor of the New Left journal Ramparts lurched violently to the right. He has waged war on affirmative action, political correctness, and creeping communism in numerous books and through his Center for the Study of Popular Culture. Now he is a key Republican political strategist. … A piece reveals that Al Gore isn't the only presidential candidate who flip-flopped on abortion. When George W. Bush ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 1978, he told a Lubbock newspaper that he supported leaving abortion up to women and their doctors.

Weekly Standard, June 26
The cover package laments the decline and fall of Vermont. One piece criticizes the once-Yankee Republican state's move toward wealth redistribution, typified by its centralized school-funding and health-care systems. In Vermont, "any notion of individual choice and responsibility is snuffed out because it might be unfair or unequal or something." … Another decries the secretiveness of the campaign to legislate gay civil unions. Though a majority of Vermonters object to civil unions, the media ignored dissent, the legislature passed the bill extra quickly in order to minimize opposition, and the governor signed the bill in secret. This stealth gay activism could spread to the rest of New England. … An article by Sen. Jesse Helms scolds President Clinton for sending a representative to the funeral of Syrian President Hafez Assad, who was nothing more than a murderous dictator.
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