"The gold ... the gold is in the ..."—Emily Pugh

"Tell Jack Hanna that he's still a schmuck."—Steven Davis

"No, I'm not returning Eastwood's calls."—Gus Robertson

"Look out, Koko, that kid has a gun!"—Chris Thomas

"But, Koko, I can change, honest!"—Sophie Pollitt-Cohen

"Please, sir ... my fans ... I'm too weak, but I must give them what they came for ... will someone ... for their sake ... scratch my balls?"—Peter Lerangis

"Yeah, c'mon Koko (hic). Yawanna piece of me? I may be drrrunk, but I'll shtill kick yer ass."—Tim Olevsky

"I don't care; when your last name is 'Gibbon' you're just glad when those monkey bastards die."—T.G. Gibbon

"Why would anyone name a gorilla Michael? A gorilla should be named something like, um, Randy. Randy Gorilla. See? That works."—Michael Manella

"On behalf of my brethren, and all the creatures of the zoo, please kill that sick zookeeper who prods us with sticks whenever no one else is looking."—Doug Benning

"I don't know what Michael's last words were, but now Koko keeps signing, 'I see dead people.' "—Ron Hart

" 'Cat orange run happy pup.' Eerily, those were also Nixon's last words."—Charlie Glassenberg

"Drugs? No, I certainly don't. Police?? Let me just get my wallet ..."—Daryl Cantrell

"Having just finished Werther by Goethe, he paraphrased the great German poet's last words: 'Mehr Bananan!' (more bananas)."—Dwight Lemke

"Alas, poor Yorrick, I knew him well—quick, get me a typewriter."—Dina Freedman

" 'Baby red flower.' And then he died, dropping a snow globe from his hand."—Francis Heaney (Peter O'Toole had a similar answer.)

"Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." (Actual ASL utterance by Nim Chimpsky.)"—Mark Roh

"Am I my keeper's brother?"—Floyd Slotterback

"I have a final confession to make: These are only a complex pattern of fortuitous stimulus-response connections; I actually have no subjective appreciation of their relation to any abstract concepts."—Greg Diamond

"Oog, Oog against the dying of the light."—Chris Troutt, with a tip of my cap to Dylan Thomas

"You maniacs! You blew it up! Awww ... damn you ... damn you all to hell!"—Roger Hipp (similarly, Steven Levy, Seth Masket, and Colin Rafferty, but the old switcheroo, Mark Wade)