"The 'Thank God It's Good Friday All-You-Can-Eat Perch Buffet' at Long John Silver's."—Kevin Guilfoile

" 'Absolut Torah' ads on college dorm room walls."—Anthony Wright

"College girls flashing their boobs if you toss them rosary beads."—Andrew Puzzio

"Everybody in crown of thorns."—Steve "Fall Into the Gap" Kiefer

"Ending prayers with 'Amen. B-Women. CNET.' "—Tim Olevsky

"Communion wafer hot pockets—they have a crispy, crusty, tender, flaky Christ."—Michael Maiello

"Re-enactments of the Last Supper at Burger King."—William Vehrs (Merrill Markoe and Matt Sullivan had similar answers; as did Greg Bilionis, but McDonald's-ized.)

"Teens are insisting on setting two extra places at the seder table—one for Elijah, and one for Leonardo DiCaprio, just in case."—Francis Heaney

"Setting aside a Jell-O shot for Elijah."—Julia A. Woods

"Concurrent IPOs from Matza.com and Communionwafers.com have made the e-traders go wild."—Deborah Wassertzug

"Stereotypically horrifying depictions of Jewish women in romantic comedies. (I'm assuming Edward Norton still counts as a 'young person.')"—Greg Diamond

"Sedermon cards."—Brooke Saucier (similarly, Todd D. Kendall and Jon Zerolnick)

"Crucifixion: extreme sport!"—Josh Pollack (similarly, Brigitte Roberts; but bungee-baptisms, David J Swift)

"Piercing the Christ child."—Larry Amoros (similarly, Ken Novak; but lamb-shank nose piercing, Neal Pollack)

"Stigmata-imitative piercings, encouraged by the sandal industry."—Laura Miller (And what's all the rush? You'll get there, Randy.) (similarly, David Oakes)

"Ritual scarification. It's not just for heathens anymore."—Floyd Elliot (similarly, Jon Drumwright)

"Hiding Easter eggs on Christina Aguilera's front lawn, if you know what I mean."—Jon Hotchkiss

"Speaking of fads, is it true that if the papal mood ring turns white, there's a new pope?"—Tom Tegtmeyer

"As long as Stryper and White Lion aren't making a comeback, I am unconcerned."—Jon Drumwright

"MTV's Spring Break in Mecca."—Peter Carlin (similarly, but Jerusalem, Colin Delaney; but Total Request Seder, Ken Tucke)

"Gee, I always thought Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick was just an expression. You got cherry flavor?"—Josh Kamensky

"Setting up 'Kick a Jew' booths at the spring fair. For $5 any God-fearing Christian can physically abuse a Jew. Pat Buchanan says this is gross commercialization of what should be every Christian's duty!"—Mark "God Bless You, Juda Ben-Hur, and Your Little Dog, Too!" Shotzberger (similarly, Floyd Elliot)

"Moses vs. Jesus, tonight on WWF Bible Smackdown!"—Todd D. Kendall (similarly, Mark Romoser, Pete Miesel, and Jeff Mallett)

"The latest movie from Japan: Pokémon's Easter Adventure. Pikachu rises from the dead and beats the crap out of everyone in sight."—Steven Davis (similarly, Jon Drumwright and Bill McDermott)

"The rabbis don't mind so much that boys are collecting Nike and Pokémon yarmulkes. It's the ones with embroideries of Judy Garland, Tinky Winky, and 'Love! Valour! Compassion!' that have them worried."—Josh Kamensky

"Jesus and Grace, the hit sitcom from Fox."—William Vehrs

"The new Christian musical, Jesus Is One Bitchin' Dude."—Carl Dietrich

"Appearing on Fox's Who Wants To Marry a Gay Vermont Multi-Millionaire?"—Joel Grus

"http://www.crucifixions.com."—Evan Cornog

"That new Web site, http://www.bris-cam.com."—Todd Serencha

"The soda-company bracelets emblazoned with 'How Would Jesus Do the Dew?' "—Anthony Wright (similarly, Todd D. Kendall, John Leary, Floyd Elliot, Francis Heaney, and Floyd Elliot)

"The new yarmulke from the Gap which leads dancing and spontaneously singing, 'The plagues are gonna rumble tonight.' "—Alfa-betty Olsen

"Some Scientologists have been putting Hello Kitty stickers on their e-meters. They call it 'progressive'; I call it heresy."—Tim Carvell

"Young bishops are wearing their miters backward, and the top of their underwear is visible through their loose ecclesiastical garments."—Francis Heaney

"Battlefield Earth."—Matt Sullivan

"A thrilling game of pingpong."—Omer Benjakob

"Some kids are making the sign of the cross before each drag off their joints. 'Makes me feel closer to Jesus, dude. He loves me, you know?' "—Rose White

"The Microsoft screensavers depicting biblical scenes, but with some changes (Bill Gates washing the feet of the homeless, etc.)."—Anthony Wright

"The East Village Easter/Passover/Ramadan rave and pancake seder."—Carrie Rickey

"Blood of Christ keggers."—Rich "I Just Signed My Ticket to Hell" Klicki

Self-Reference Corner

"The News Quiz yarmulkes, now at a special introductory price of $19.95. (Mike Kinsley swears the price will go up in August, but I'm guessing they'll be available free at Starbucks, albeit with a banner ad for Microsoft's new talmud.com.)"—Noah Meyerson