"Because they projected another eight months of campaigning, the campaign came in way under budget."—Charles Star

"That cool human pyramid that comprised every person who voted for Bradley in Washington state."—Matt Heimer

"We have demonstrated once again that America is a country where any child can dream of growing up to be president ... as long as that child is white, male, and Christian."—Daniel Barenholtz

"Ever so slightly reducing the chances of a Charles Barkley presidential run."—Ken Goldstein (Ann Gavaghan had a similar answer.)

"Delaying Ralph Nader's entry into the race by at least three months."—Daniel Radosh

"Never saying the words 'La Vida Loca' during a campaign speech."—Ed Hernandez

"The issue of health-care reform is now once more prominently languishing on the nation's agenda!"—Greg Diamond

"Having a white guy make it off the stage of the Apollo without facing Sandman Sims."—Anthony Wright

"Not nuts like Alan Keyes."—Chris Gwaltney

"Their hard work allowed him to actually meet and shake hands with fellow also-ran John McCain. A war hero!"—Terry Laukkanen

"Hey, at least we finished ahead of Lyndon LaRouche."—Tim Olevsky

"At least we're not French. Or worse, Parisians."—Steven Davis

"That one time, when a reporter asked about Al Gore, and Bradley said, 'Oh, you mean "All Bore"?' That was funny. Whoever wrote that one gets a pat on the back."—Charles Star

"Their comprehensive list of euphemisms for the word 'loss.' "—Beth Sherman (similarly, Charles Star)

"Not falling asleep once during the entire campaign! (Seriously—I was just resting my eyes during that ethanol subsidies speech in Iowa!)"—Ann Gavaghan (similarly, John Edwards and Larry Amoros)

"Every one of them can now twirl a basketball on one finger."—Peter Lerangis (similarly hoopish, Neal Pollack, David Gilison, and Terry Laukkanen)

"Boosting Al Gore's low self-esteem."—Francis Heaney

"Forcing Al Gore to wear earth tones."—Katha Pollitt, Arthur T.S. Jackson, and Jud Mathews

"Not stooping to a bidding war over Naomi Wolf."—M. G. Lord

"Surviving the hazing, which involves—how shall I put this?—Willis Reed's sneaker, nontoxic Tiger Balm, and a garden trowel. Don't ask."—Larry Amoros

"Never getting his name wrong and spelling it Bill Breadly, the way C-SPAN did last night when they supered his name under his talking head as he made his almost concession speech."—Alfa-Betty Olsen

"The co-endorsement commercial starring beloved American icons Spike Lee and Ed Koch (sorry, Michael Jordan, maybe next time)."—Matt Sullivan (similarly, Tom Baker)

" 'Although we are wounded on the inside, all of us,' said Bradley, 'no one was wounded very badly on the outside, save that one guy that Karenna Gore bit.' "—Josh Kamensky

"Delivering big, big gains to stockholders in Starbucks and No Doz."—Matt Heimer (similarly Starbuckian, J & O Hargrave)

"They were supporting the tallest candidate, were they not?"—Deborah Wassertzug (similarly, Ed Hernandez, Terry Laukkanen, and Anthony Wright)

"The endorsements from Nike and Reebok that Bradley received."—Mark Shotzberger (similarly, Ed Hernandez)

"Bridging the chasm between Tim Russert and Ahmad Rashad each Sunday on NBC."—Matt Sullivan

"Invaluable publicity for new chain of Dollar Bill's Frozen Yogurt Shacks."—Susan Vance

"Souvenir 'Bill Bradley for President 2000' paperweights made in the image of the former senator's chin, now selling for $30 a piece on eBay."—Mark Romoser

"Making Al Gore look ept."—Evan Cornog

"It was better than temping."—Colleen Werthmann

"Utter failure. (Hey, if I wasn't proud of utter failure, I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning.)"—Michael Mannella

"Their ability to develop a long-term tolerance for breathing diesel fumes from the Bradley campaign bus."—Gary Marchbank

"There was that time I almost executed an effective campaign strategy ... I have you good people to thank for keeping me on the straight and loserish."—John Edwards

"They all ate without a bib, like little grown-ups."—Francis Heaney

"Coming close to winning Vermont (sort of, but not really)."—Marc Spisto (similarly, but American Samoa, Joel Lovell)

"Clean, fresh breath. Cleanliness is next to godliness, but there seems to be no mention of a pack mentality."—Winter Miller

"Proving that white men can't jump. Or run, either. They just shoot. From the lip."—Carrie Rickey (similarly, Terry Laukkanen)

"Not asking why a retired basketball player with an undistinguished senatorial record and no real chance of winning was running for president?"—Dwight Lemke

"Beats me."—David Finkle

Self-Reference Corner

"The fact that this fine campaign will be the topic of tomorrow's News Quiz. We're going to be lampooned by Tim Carvell, people! Or at least by the team of 600 Mexican workers he pays pennies apiece per day to come up with jokes that are submitted under his name."—Greg "Also Cerebral, or at Least Cerebellal" Diamond