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Rob Walker

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Posted Friday, Jan. 7, 2000, at 9:30 PM ET

Ahem. Now that we're at the end of this Diary, I thought I would answer the most Frequently Asked Questions about the move that E and I made, from New York City to New Orleans.

Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?

A: In Manhattan, I found, one tends to think in terms of What's New. For example, I can remember when Balthazar was the new Bowery Bar, when Moomba was the new Spy Bar, and when Orchard Street became the new Ludlow Street and Thursday was the new Friday. Right before I left, I realized that Smith Street (in Brooklyn!) had become the new Elizabeth Street. Last year people said gray was the new black. For a minute or two, sincerity was supposed to be the new irony. I saw on a magazine cover that brown was the new blond. About two years ago someone told me that Beat poetry was the new broccoli rabe. Certainly I remember Avenue B becoming the new Avenue A, and I think by now Avenue C is the new Avenue B. The idea is to have spotted the It Idea five minutes before whoever you're talking to. I'm not really criticizing this game. It was sort of fun. So ... What's New? Is Dave Eggers the new Kurt Andersen? Is Pastis the new Balthazar and the meatpacking district the new SoHo? Well: Maybe New Orleans is the new Avenue C!

Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?

A: There's a place, about five minutes from our house by way of Carrollton Avenue, called Rock 'n' Bowl. That's where we went last night. Wednesday and Thursday nights are zydeco nights, and there is usually a first-rate zydeco band--we once saw Beau Jacques here on a 1998 visit--and a crowd that's black and white, and young and old. We made a trip out to the dance floor, but mostly we watch here, because everyone else seems to dance so well. Also, if you don't want to dance at all, there is bowling. Eighteen lanes. Who wouldn't want to live in a city that has Rock 'n' Bowl? We stayed for only one set this time, but it ended well after midnight.

Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?

A: Once "Page Six" was available online, it became possible to live anywhere. There's no reason that the new Avenue C might be beyond the East Village, beyond Williamsburg or Long Island City. It could be anywhere. Right?

Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?

A: Some cities really do have personalities, good or bad. One of the themes in the background of the very fine David Shields book Black Planet, about a season spent obsessing over the Seattle Supersonics, is the insecurity that is apparently fundamental to the character of Seattle. That's a city personality that I would dislike. I lived in Dallas, and the place seemed to tremble with insecurity, always wondering what the coasts think. Houston, on the other hand, is authentically uninterested in the opinions of outsiders. Austin is smug, still convinced that it's Paris in the '20s. New York is New York. Boston isn't. Denver has no personality. Neither does Orlando. San Francisco is all about convincing anyone who listens that it is the future--it's the new New York! Miami is kind of like that, too. And in a weird way so is Atlanta. Anyway, I like a city that doesn't waste time trying to convince anyone of anything--I like a city that's chauvinistic.

Q: Why did you choose New Orleans?

A: New Orleans is not the new Avenue C. This was once the richest city in the South. It is not that anymore, but it is also not the new anything; it is still New Orleans. What does that mean? I think random bullets are a clue. I think unself-consciousness is a clue. Denial is a clue. Laughing at trouble seems like a clue, and so does dancing at Rock 'n' Bowl. Of course, I'll look back on all this in a year or two, or more, and be amazed at how badly I read the clues, at how little I understood, early on, about the mysteries of this place. It will all seem clearer then, I hope. Because that's why we chose New Orleans.

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Posted Friday, Jan. 7, 2000, at 9:30 PM ET
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