"Vacco incensed Jesse Jackson supporters by denying that he referred to

Jewish voters as, simply, 'Jewish voters.' "--Lawrence Bliss

"Seinfeld's girlfriends. He referred to them as 'youthful.' "--Beth Sherman

"The group: NOW. The remark: 'I think today's women can learn a lot from that new feminist icon Ally McBeal and lose a few pounds.' "--Matt Sullivan

"Guys named Sam. Something about a breakfast involving green eggs."--Jennifer Miller

"The remark was 'faggot banditos.' 'I did not say banditos,' insisted Vacco. 'I swear I only said "faggot." That's still OK, isn't it?' "--Daniel Radosh

"Vacco had threatened to have his opponent 'rubbed out'; organized crime was furious that he implied he'd do it himself instead of 'hiring out.' "--Ellen Krause

" 'Banditos in stiletos.' New York fashionistas were up in arms, since this year's basic is a gray flannel flat."--Barbara Lippert

" 'In my experience, anyone who spells "Hallowe'en" with an apostrophe is a moron.' Newsday had reported him as saying 'gayrod.' "--Michael Gerber

"The United Brotherhood of Prison Guards, by promising to hand out free kazoos to prisoners who vote for him."--Brooke Saucier

"Vacco purportedly told a group of high-school students that the best way to guarantee that Social Security would still be around for them would be to 'kill the elderly.' "--Tim Carvell

"Freudians Against the Death Penalty. 'I don't care what you motherfuckers say, I try 'em and the penal system fries 'em. Case closed!' "--Jim O'Grady

"Catholic AND anti-gay voters. 'I'm all for allowing women to be priests. Hell, they'd look almost as cute as altar boys in those little outfits.' "--David Ballard

" 'Bastards,' in describing the illegitimate heirs of Thomas Jefferson."--Chris Thomas

"Star Trek fans. 'Pathetic losers.' "--Andrew Milner

" 'While my campaign staff member is in the restroom, I'd like to take a break from what can only be described as copious note taking to say that New York City is not only a fetid hellhole, but quite possibly the world's largest outdoor toilet.' "--Steven Miller

" ' "Bandaid-OH," not "bandito." Taken totally out of context. He was at a news conference, and he'd just got a paper cut, and he asked me to get him a "Bandaid--OH!" [it really started bleeding then] over at the spic's store on the corner': Tony Pallone, aide to Sen. Vacco."--Ellen Macleay

" 'I didn't mistakenly call my opponent "Mrs. D'Amato," and I apologize to anyone who's ever paid him off, anyone who's got direct pork from him.' (Well, you said it was a BIG group he offended!)"--Steve Levy

"It was the sensitive Hispanics again, who thought they heard Dennis say, 'Yo, the fuckin' Frito Bandito is a fuckin' fugazzi.' What he actually said was, 'Yo quero all the fuckin' taco bandits.' What the fuck's the matter with that? Hispanics--sheeeesh!"--Marshall Efron

"The group: Hispanic voters. Vacco was heard to refer to 'banditos' waiting outside 'bodegas.' 'It's a complete fabrication. I would never say "bandito," ' said Vacco. 'Banditos are Mexican. I was talking about Mexicans AND people from much farther south, so I used the more general term "chili dippers." '--David Rakoff

"That New York will never even consider legalizing marijuana, as long as Vacco's attorney general. A riot nearly ensued when he made this proclamation before a sold-out crowd at a Beastie Boys concert. Still, everyone there was so stoned, no one else can actually remember if he said it either."--Eric Nelson

" 'I'll guarantee you one thing,' Vacco told a meeting of the Ancient Order of Hibernians, 'when it comes to my administration, no Irish need apply.' He later explained that he thought 'Hibernian' meant 'Swiss.' "--Tim Carvell

"I suspect you'll get a lot of answers like this: Gen. Vacco angered New York City's large population of psychiatrically challenged voters by calling his opponent a 'meshugahead' while in line at Zabar's. But that's the best I can do right now."--Andrew Cohen

" 'Bodegaputz.' Vacco incensed the Jewish and Hispanic communities by using a common New York expression that literally means 'fool' but really means 'I have no interest in winning re-election.' "--Richard Primoff

"Italian voters. He referred to Sen. Al D'Amato as a 'pizzahead.' "--David Finkle

Self-Reference Corner

"He said to the group of 'News Quiz' respondents that he didn't give a damn that non-New Yorkers weren't going to know enough about Vacco, his re-election campaign, or New York politics generally to think of anything funny to say about this question."--Paul Tullis

" 'If you're looking for a quality News Quiz,' Vacco said, 'look no further than the pages of Time magazine.' OK, so it wasn't a big group of voters. But as Gwen Verdon could tell you, it's best to be on Randy's good side."--Tim Carvell