I've spent lots of face time with a grab bag of millennial and utopian players over the past 10 years, trying to understand what they're all about. The major categories included Christians who believe in the Last Days prophecies outlined in the Book of Revelation (by far the largest group, numbering in the tens of millions); New Agers who think the Earth itself is angry with mankind and is stepping up the severity of natural disasters to kill us off (this is called "Earth Changes"); UFO enthusiasts (specifically, ones who think flying saucers are piloted by infinitely wise Ascended Masters); Y2K panickers (also prone to survivalist measures); far-right hotheads; and various political separatists.
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StumbleUponAlong the way I made many fascinating new friends, including an emergency-room doctor who's convinced he was tapped by fate to be the first human to hug an extraterrestrial; a guy who thought he was "the new David Koresh"; and members of a UFO religion who expect spaceships from 32 planets to land in a stack near San Diego next year.
Strange stuff, but it rarely amounts to much, and when you dig down you find that millennial beliefs are usually a fantasy substitution for some other larger or smaller gripe, à la: The government sucks; I hate the sluttiness of celebrity culture; I am unhappy, so I want to be taken away by loving Space Brothers.
For most believers, the tricky part about such enthusiasms is what to do with them. They can't do much, so they hunker down, hoot, and anticipate. And if the prophecy fails, they discover that the tension of waiting was so much fun that they rewrite the rules and start waiting again. I witnessed this over and over:
Jesus is coming back! When? Uh, the Bible says "could be any time." What will you do until then? Wait!
The Space Brothers are landing in 2001! What if they don't? That means they're landing in 2002!
When millennialists are "active," they typically come up with bizarre but meaningless ways to work off their energy. My favorite person of this ilk was a Christian evangelist named Arthur Blessitt, who years ago was told by God to carry a 40-pound cross to every nation on Earth before 2000, to prepare the way for the Second Coming. He did it, too, along the way weathering deadly assaults from "a green mamba snake in Ghana" and a Nicaraguan firing squad. (Jesus saved him every time.) Arthur's work is done, and these days he's taking it easy with long-distance cross-hauling victory laps here and there.
For you who missed my book on millennial subcultures--and hey, it's not too late, there are still a few shopping days left before Jesus comes back at the head of his Armageddon cavalry--here's the gist of what I think about fin de siècle madness.
1) Mostly, you shouldn't worry about it. Millennialists are usually harmless; some are even endearing. So if an apocalyptic "wacko" turns up in your immediate family, be open-minded. Ask questions. Dialogue.
2) Y2K probably won't be that big a deal, but you never know. The other day I heard a top spokesman for Los Angeles County's Y2K preparedness effort say, essentially, "We're completely ready and we expect no major problems, but you never know." My current thinking: Since roughly $365 per person has been spent in the United States to ameliorate the Y2K problem, why not kiss off $150 more and lay in a few extra candles and Slim Jims? I was shopping with my wife at Target recently and we impulsively bought a stack of D cells and many, many extra jugs of water. Our rationale? That we were filling in the blanks on our "earthquake kit" (we live near the Hayward fault), but we both knew the truth. Y2K OKness doubt had briefly crept in.
3) A tiny but significant fraction of millennialists are dangerous. I was reminded of this not long ago when an eerily labeled FBI report, Project Megiddo, came to light. The report warned of likely violence from any one of several fringe elements: Christian Identity (a far far right anti-Semitic kook-ball religion), Black Israelites (racial separatists who tend to preach that whites are devil-babies), and bomb-happy militia members. To that I'd add fringe Christians and Jews who think the Temple Mount in Jerusalem would be a lot more scenic without the Dome of the Rock, because they want to build a "Third Temple" up there. So, if the apocalyptic wacko in your immediate family says any of the following--"ZOG must be destroyed!"; "Whitey must be destroyed!"; "The Muslim pox on the Temple Mount must be destroyed!"; or "I am the Antichrist--everybody must be destroyed!"--don't dialogue. Call the FBI. I guess 3 sort of negates the cheerfulness of 1 and 2, but I still hold out hope that we'll get to 2001 without any major millennial disruptions. Call it crank calculus, but I just have this faith that the benign spirit of most millennialists will outweigh the evil guys and gals, and we'll all muddle through.
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Highlights from the Fray (note: these posts should be read after the final Diary entry):
OK, we've made it. Phewww! Man, I don't know about you, but I thought we'd NEVER get here. Remember the "Cold War" years? Geez ... I didn't think we'd make it much past the Cuban Missile Crisis, let alone the 70s, 80s and 90s! But then came Glasnost, Parastroika, the wall tumbling down...and the world breathed a collective sigh of relief...especially those creepy terrorists who could now get weapons-grade plutonium at rock-bottom prices!
Heck, I guess the computer geniuses didn't think we'd make it either; I mean, look at the mess they created? I suppose they thought, "Ehh...leave the 6-digit date field...let someone ELSE worry about it. What matters is we keep up with the PC market, make tons of profits now, before we get nuked and none of it matters anyway." And of course, the children of these goons are making THEIR fortunes now, on Y2K pandemonium. Excuse me while I hurl!
Well, alas, we've made it (almost...do the math, those of you who believe the millenium actually ends Friday at midnight). Some of you might be surprised that most of the world doesn't share the same date system. Yes, Virginia! There ARE other societies besides our own, with different beliefs entirely! (By the way, if some of them are right, we'll all be reincarnated as insect larvae.) Anyway, relax, my friends. Wear those funny hats, drink your champagne, and sing that strange song that no one seems to remember the words to, when the ball drops. Kiss your significant other ... or anyone you who will let you. Be happy to be alive. We've made it to the end of the football season. Now, let's look forward to the next, and make it one to be proud of.
--J. Bell
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I don't think that the world will end, space ships will land, volcanos erupt, asteroids fall, etc., but all the hype has led my wife and I to make an emergency kit with a change of clothes, 48 hours' worth of food and water, and flashlights, etc to put in my storage shed for an emergency that could happen now or 5-10 years from now. There has been speculation for years that the New Madrid Fault (which is 25 miles from my home) is going to send us the "big one."
--Philip Faughn
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WARNING!!! THIS WHOLE Y2K THING IS A BIG GOVERNMENT SCAM!! DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!
--YBuzz
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Something from another MSN posting of a few days ago:
--Johanan Rakkav
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Re: Richard W. Noone. I heard a long time ago that on 5/5/2000, all nine planets will be in a perfect line, pull each other off course, and that will be the end of life on earth. I don't believe it, but it is something to look forward to.
--Tom Ford
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Noone is an ass!!! He has obviously forgot to do the math in regards to the Grand Conjunction of May 5, 2000. Any interested person feeling insecure about the alignment of the planets and a shifting of the poles ought not to be. Using simple Newtonian formulas(not complex calculus), one will discover that the change (delta) in gravitational force dynamic is hardly enough to budge the world. There is a greater interaction between the Earth's moon and sun than any combination of planets. One cannot forget that gravitation force between planets acts on the center of the orb and not on a South or North Pole. Noone is a nut. Fall into a Black Hole idiot!!!!
--Mark
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All I really wanna do is be close to my family. I don't believe that anything serious will happen, well maybe the electricity would cut for a while say two hours but not more than that. Most people I know will be sitting at home too. CNN will have a full coverage for the new millennium in every country so I'll be watching it. Well the TV is one of the most important inventions in this millennium so why not spend the change of it with it?!
--Sarah
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okay, if anything will happen it will be one of these things (i think):
the world will pretty much blow up, volcanoes everywhere, Christian people may or may not vanish, or die,(i'm not a satinist--i mean go to heaven. i am a christian)which will turn the world into either a pre-hell, or maybe god will move hell to earth, or maybe we will be forced to live with the fiery inferno for 1000 years(or 777 or 7 or something). you get the idea
or
the Lord will come back to earth, raise all the christians, and send everyone else to hell.
or (hehe)
we will get chips in our arms, that let us buy food, and if your christian you do not get a chip (well, you may, but its an evil chip, called the 666 chip). i don't know about that one, but in the bible it says that's what happened a long time ago.
or (yes, another)
we'll kill ourselves, with nukes and all--i would not be at all surprised if the lights go OUT jan 1st, 2000 (not 2001 in this case cuz this would be us humans, and no one seems to know about 2001 bein the real new millenium)
or
nothing will happen, it'll be just like before!
--NuKT
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