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Alex Heard

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Posted Thursday, Dec. 30, 1999, at 9:00 PM ET

I know what I'm doing New Year's Eve--constructing "cheese olives" for our cozy-as-heck Open House party on New Year's Day--but I began to wonder about the people I'd met or interviewed or heard tales of while researching Apocalypse Pretty Soon. So, I picked up the phone and did some gabbin'.

A cautionary note: Don't get too excited by the (generally) upbeat mood among the people I spoke with. The folks to worry about are the ones who don't take phone calls from reporters, and I was unable to raise notable figures such as:

Monte Kim Miller, a Christian cult leader who was thrown out of Jerusalem last year in connection with an alleged plot to go on a terror rampage in January 2000. (He's currently missing.)

Bob Rutz, owner of Prayer Lake, a Christian Y2K survivalist community in Arkansas. (I connected with a woman there, but she simply barked, "He doesn't do interviews!")

Chen Hon Ming, the leader of Chen Tao, a UFO cult that predicted God would appear in Garland, Texas, in March 1998. (Last I heard the Tao-heads moved to Buffalo, N.Y., and they still all wear ... brrrr ... identical uniforms and matching white cowboy hats.)

And Yisrayl Hawkins, a former rockabilly singer who leads a large, compound-based End Times cult near Abilene, Texas. (Where all hands reportedly await the apocalypse and the return of Christ sometime in 2000.)

Another cautionary note: The four people just mentioned are hardasses. The majority of the enthusiasts I wrote about are people who lead rather ordinary lives but happen to believe esoteric things. They're not cult leaders, cult members, or kooks. Well, maybe one or two of them are slightly ... kook flavored ... but I love them all, so be nice. Got it? Good.

Kenna E. Farris, a 74-year-old Missouri man, believes he has been designated by God as "the Forerunner Prophet of the Apocalypse." This is a big year for him: He's convinced that in 2000, Jesus will sneak back to Earth in a UFO, capture Satan, take him away to bind him in chains, and inaugurate a 1,000-year period of peace that will stop on or around 3,000 with the end of the world. Sadly, Farris is convinced he'll be slain this year--as one of the Two Witnesses mentioned in the Book of Revelation, this is his fated role. Farris will spend New Year's Eve quietly at home, "sitting right here ignoring all that YK2 craziness, which I don't think will amount to much." He adds: "I lived through the Depression. YK2 just makes me chuckle."

Bob and Zoh Hieronimus, from suburban Maryland, believe in the Earth Changes--basically, the idea that the planet is serving up an escalating series of natural disasters to slim down the human population. (It's our fault: We've treated her badly and the bill is coming due.) Bob and Zoh are nice people who happen to be wealthy enough to have constructed a roomy Earth Changes survival apartment in the sub-basement of their home. Their space has a big, bright kitchen, bunks for 40 or so, and spiffy bathrooms--and it's all backed up by two powerful generators. They aren't worried about Y2K--"I don't think it will be that serious," says Bob--though they do think the Earth Changes are getting worse all the time. And for New Year's? An at-home celebration involving "parts of our family who are very conscious of the problems to come--we're going to spend some time talking about our nation and where it's headed in the next century." There will also be time for food, hoops, "games galore," and maybe a Charlie Chan movie or two.

James BeauSeignur, another plucky Marylander, is the author of The Christ Clone Trilogy, a swell series of novels that dramatizes the End Times dramas outlined in Revelation. (His special twist: A Christ clone is developed from cells scraped off the Shroud of Turin, but he goes bad.) James used to work at Unisys and is a teensy bit worried about Y2K. "There were a lot of our computers that, because of firmware, are simply going to fail," he says. "We sent out mailings to companies that had the older equipment, but as far as I know only a small percentage bothered to upgrade." Hmmm. James has laid in extra water, food, batteries, plenty of firewood ... the usual. He and his family will be celebrating at home New Year's Eve, screening The Wizard of Oz.

Finally, one of my all-time favorites, Richard W. Noone of Ellijay, Ga., the author of 5/5/2000--a book that predicts the Earth's crust will shift grotesquely on May 5, 2000, as part of a series of planetary upheavals that usher in a new Ice Age. Noone doesn't think Y2K amounts to much relative to a solar storm that will reach its peak this spring, just prior to the larger May 5 calamity. "A billion-ton wave of superhot, electrically charged gas will be ejected from the sun and crash into the Earth's magnetic field at 620 miles per second," he told me. "The coming Solar Max will disrupt radio, telephone, satellites, airlines." Noone was the only person I talked to who literally expects a superdisaster in 2000, so it was with a special sense of anticipation that I asked: What's he doing New Year's Eve? "I will be ... " Cough, cough. " ... celebrating at home."

That makes 100 percent for "staying at home." Sounds like a landslide. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it, and have a safe and happy millennial transition.

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Posted Thursday, Dec. 30, 1999, at 9:00 PM ET

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Alex Heard is the editorial director of Outside magazine.

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Highlights from the Fray (note: these posts should be read after the final Diary entry):

OK, we've made it. Phewww! Man, I don't know about you, but I thought we'd NEVER get here. Remember the "Cold War" years? Geez ... I didn't think we'd make it much past the Cuban Missile Crisis, let alone the 70s, 80s and 90s! But then came Glasnost, Parastroika, the wall tumbling down...and the world breathed a collective sigh of relief...especially those creepy terrorists who could now get weapons-grade plutonium at rock-bottom prices!

Heck, I guess the computer geniuses didn't think we'd make it either; I mean, look at the mess they created? I suppose they thought, "Ehh...leave the 6-digit date field...let someone ELSE worry about it. What matters is we keep up with the PC market, make tons of profits now, before we get nuked and none of it matters anyway." And of course, the children of these goons are making THEIR fortunes now, on Y2K pandemonium. Excuse me while I hurl!

Well, alas, we've made it (almost...do the math, those of you who believe the millenium actually ends Friday at midnight). Some of you might be surprised that most of the world doesn't share the same date system. Yes, Virginia! There ARE other societies besides our own, with different beliefs entirely! (By the way, if some of them are right, we'll all be reincarnated as insect larvae.) Anyway, relax, my friends. Wear those funny hats, drink your champagne, and sing that strange song that no one seems to remember the words to, when the ball drops. Kiss your significant other ... or anyone you who will let you. Be happy to be alive. We've made it to the end of the football season. Now, let's look forward to the next, and make it one to be proud of.

--J. Bell

(To reply, click here.)

I don't think that the world will end, space ships will land, volcanos erupt, asteroids fall, etc., but all the hype has led my wife and I to make an emergency kit with a change of clothes, 48 hours' worth of food and water, and flashlights, etc to put in my storage shed for an emergency that could happen now or 5-10 years from now. There has been speculation for years that the New Madrid Fault (which is 25 miles from my home) is going to send us the "big one."

--Philip Faughn

(To reply, click here.)

WARNING!!! THIS WHOLE Y2K THING IS A BIG GOVERNMENT SCAM!! DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!

--YBuzz

(To reply, click here.)

Something from another MSN posting of a few days ago:

Public Service Award for Bringing a Sense of Perspective to This Whole Ludicrous Millennium Flapdoodle: Life revealed that what we call the year 2000 is the year 2543 for Buddhists, 1420 for Muslims, 1921 for Hindus, 4697 for the Chinese, 1993 for Ethiopians, 5119 for Mayans and 5760 for Jews.

--Johanan Rakkav

(To reply, click here.)

Re: Richard W. Noone. I heard a long time ago that on 5/5/2000, all nine planets will be in a perfect line, pull each other off course, and that will be the end of life on earth. I don't believe it, but it is something to look forward to.

--Tom Ford

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Noone is an ass!!! He has obviously forgot to do the math in regards to the Grand Conjunction of May 5, 2000. Any interested person feeling insecure about the alignment of the planets and a shifting of the poles ought not to be. Using simple Newtonian formulas(not complex calculus), one will discover that the change (delta) in gravitational force dynamic is hardly enough to budge the world. There is a greater interaction between the Earth's moon and sun than any combination of planets. One cannot forget that gravitation force between planets acts on the center of the orb and not on a South or North Pole. Noone is a nut. Fall into a Black Hole idiot!!!!

--Mark

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All I really wanna do is be close to my family. I don't believe that anything serious will happen, well maybe the electricity would cut for a while say two hours but not more than that. Most people I know will be sitting at home too. CNN will have a full coverage for the new millennium in every country so I'll be watching it. Well the TV is one of the most important inventions in this millennium so why not spend the change of it with it?!

--Sarah

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okay, if anything will happen it will be one of these things (i think):

the world will pretty much blow up, volcanoes everywhere, Christian people may or may not vanish, or die,(i'm not a satinist--i mean go to heaven. i am a christian)which will turn the world into either a pre-hell, or maybe god will move hell to earth, or maybe we will be forced to live with the fiery inferno for 1000 years(or 777 or 7 or something). you get the idea

or

the Lord will come back to earth, raise all the christians, and send everyone else to hell.

or (hehe)

we will get chips in our arms, that let us buy food, and if your christian you do not get a chip (well, you may, but its an evil chip, called the 666 chip). i don't know about that one, but in the bible it says that's what happened a long time ago.

or (yes, another)

we'll kill ourselves, with nukes and all--i would not be at all surprised if the lights go OUT jan 1st, 2000 (not 2001 in this case cuz this would be us humans, and no one seems to know about 2001 bein the real new millenium)

or

nothing will happen, it'll be just like before!

--NuKT

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