12:40 p.m. The flag of Grenada is really something. It is bright and optimistic; some of its parts symbolize blood. It has a red border, and imbedded in the red border are six yellow stars, three on the top, three on the bottom. Inside the red border, in the flag's central area of play, are two yellow triangles and two green ones, the yellow top and bottom, the green left and right. In the middle of the flag is a red circle, with a yellow star inside it. Then, in one of the green triangles ... man, this is pretty hard to describe. Do you have a book of flags? Look up Grenada--it's probably in there.
12:43. Advice for those of you hiding terrible secrets: Carry your secret with you somewhere where you can access it easily. Front pocket or purse. In general, be happy and laugh at the jokes told by friends and the stars on television, but sometimes take your secret out and look at it to remind yourself of what it looks like and how it feels in your hand. It feels like a burr. It is small and has a soft center, but if you squeeze it, it will puncture your skin, even if just a little. Do not give your secret to anyone else. Do not show anyone your secret and do not let anyone touch it. It will not feel the same to them. To them it might feel furry; it might even tickle. And if your terrible secret is tickling the hand of someone else, where will you be?
1:20 p.m. Ty Cobb. That guy had some amazing numbers. 45, 3, 67, 9, 83, 892, 4, 34, 1611. Incredible.
1:34 p.m. Advice for those who have seen things they should not have: Remember seeing that thing very clearly, but at the same time, with no clarity at all. Forget whether it was a dream or it was real, or whether it happened in a book or in a movie. Forget the people who starred in the thing you should not have seen. Remember the colors, and remember the things that happened just before, or just after. Add people to the scene who were not there but should have been there. If it was light in the room, make it dark. Add a range of burgundies. But never, ever, tell anyone about what you saw that you should not have seen. Instead, talk to people about Jon Cryer, of whom we surely have not seen the last, and John McCain, who just might give George W. a run for his money!
******
1:43 p.m. AN ABRIDGED HISTORY OF HAND-HOLDING
890 B.C. Only men hold hands.
28 B.C. Men sometimes hold hands with children.
A.D. 77 Children begin to hold hands with their mothers.
A.D. 230 Hand-holding banned, except between wealthy people. Wealthy people do it like it's going out of style.
A.D. 235 Hand-holding goes out of style.
240-1245 No record of hand-holding.
A.D. 1412 The elders of a small Inuit tribe try to hold hands but cannot, due to bulky mittens.
A.D. 1877 Holding hands underwater invented.
A.D. 1999 Pete Rose appears on The Martin Short Show and wows 'em.
******
5:37 p.m. HEROES OF CAPITALISM (a short docudrama, based on the real events of today)
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Is one of you Michael?"
"Yes, that's me."
"Oh, hi. I talked to you on the phone."
"Right."
"I have a painting that needs to be shot."
"Right. How many slides do you need?"
"Oh, just a few."
"And this is the painting?"
"Yes. I didn't stretch it. Is that OK?"
"Sure, sure. OK. When do you need the slides? I can get them back to you by Thursday ... Friday at the latest."
"Oh. Um. I'd really love to have them by Wednesday, actually. I'll pay extra, if that would help."
"Hmm. OK, we can do it. No extra charge. How's Wednesday afternoon?"
"Great, great. Thanks."
"No problem."
"Thanks. So I'll just come by on Wednesday?"
"Yep."
"Great."
"Great."
"OK. Bye now."
"See ya."
"What?"
"I said 'See ya.' "
"Oh. Oh. OK, bye. Thanks."
******
7:34 p.m. Found, at 6:20 p.m. on Monday, Dec. 13: a Polaroid picture, on the sidewalk of Prospect Park West Road, where that road meets First Street, in the Brooklyn category of New York. This Polaroid is real.
Now, here is what we know about this picture:
That it says that the pictured woman is wanted by the FBI.
That the word "wanted" has been crossed out.
That the woman, who may or not be wanted by the FBI, is smiling.
That the smiling woman, who may or may not be wanted by the FBI, is wearing eye shadow that is not flattering to her fair complexion.
Here is what we do not know:
Who this woman is.
Whether this woman is still at large.
Why the word "wanted" has been crossed out.
Why the woman would wear this shade of eye shadow, which is not flattering to her fair complexion.
Why the FBI is using Polaroids for its Wanted notices, and sidewalks as its means of distribution.
When someone will finally have the cojones to make an all-black Wizard of Oz.
1. Just a small comment re: The Wiz--Michael Jackson is in it pre-plastic surgery! You might not recognize him. Also, his dancing is rather more conventional than we're used to seeing in more recent years.
2. If there's a serious possibility of publishing some classic children's books, I have one to suggest: The Bears' Famous Invasion of Sicily, by Dino Buzzati. This one was originally published in (as I recall) 1947, in several different languages (original Italian, and definitely in French and English). I think the publisher was Pantheon Press. It is a delightful (probably not PC nowadays, however) story, with wonderful illustrations. It is also extremely hard to find a copy for sale, unfortunately. You should try to find a copy, read it, and find out who has the rights now. I should mention that Dino Buzzati is regarded by some as a sort of Italian equivalent of Kafka. There are a couple of collections of his writings available, translated in the last twenty years. The one I've read is titled The Siren, and it's good.
The Wiz was a commercial as well as critical flop for one very good reason--the hideous miscasting of a certain leathery, over-the-hill egomaniacal dinosaur in the role of an apple-cheeked, doe-eyed teenage ingenue. Not since Lucy rendered "Mame" lame through a half-gallon wad of Vaseline and a burlap filter has a part been so terribly miscast in appeasement of a monstrous ego run amuck. Well, there is also Babs in Yentl, but that's a whole other institutional use sized can of non-pareve worms.
Yes, Michael Jackson would have been the logical choice, but remember that he was still black way back then. Perhaps that is why so many people complain they cannot locate a copy--maybe it is true that he really does buy up or suppress all available P.W.E.* images of himself. (*Pre-White Era)
I digress. Frequently and at length. So, back to The Wiz--the role of Dorothy was originated on Broadway by Stephanie Mills. I believe she started her run when she was about 15 and played it for about 8 years, but when it came time to make a movie, guess who was in tight (no pun intended) with Berry Gordy? It is said that they rewrote the part of Dorothy to be something a little easier and more believable for that battle ax Diana Ross to pass herself off as--a thirty-something dried-up spinster schoolmarm living at home with her parents.
The Wiz also begat one of Stephanie Mills most loved songs--her "Over the Rainbow," as it were--the beautiful anthem, "Home." I still get goose-pimply whenever I hear her sing it. I get sharp pains akin to needles piercing my skull even thinking of how badly The Boss' attempted appropriation of it sounded.
Useless Wiz factoids--both the original roadway show as well as the movie featured the recently late, great Mabel King (she died last week) as the Wicked Witch of the West throwin' down in the sweat shop to the gospel inflected strains of "No Bad News." Mabel King may perhaps be better known (but I doubt it) from the late seventies, early eighties blaxploitation sitcoms, What's Happenin' and That's My Mama.
To save some folks the time of writing in to tell us who else they remembered was in it, the principal cast was: Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Lena Horne, Richard Pryor, Nipsey Russell, Ted Ross, Mabel King, Theresa Merritt, Roberta Flack, Cissy Houston, Gwen Guthrie, and Luther Vandross.
The Broadway original cast recording is wonderful. Fabulous music, fabulous talent. "Ease on Down the Road, Home, Don't Bring Me No Bad News," much more. Also: "Be A Lion"!!! It's the kind of song you can sing along with at full volume and feel great the rest of the day. Love it. Run right out now and get a copy of it, you'll love it. Excuse me now, I gotta go find my copy. (Do not try to substitute the movie soundtrack!)
Rats, Lice and History--the 1984 Little, Brown paperback reprint (which is little, and red, and has ISBN number 0316988960)--stands at number 102,547 in Amazon.com's sales ranking.
It may or may not be of interest to note that David Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius: Based on a True Story--the year 2000 Simon and Schuster hardcover (which is bigger, multicolored, and has ISBN number 0684863472)--stands at number 1,117,559 in Amazon.com's sales ranking. (Buy it here.) But then again, it hasn't been published yet, so it can hardly be a bestseller.
It is probably worth noting that while Eggers' tome does not appear on the list of books also bought by purchasers of Rats, Lice and History, three of the four books so cited also have colons in their titles. For your edification, the full list follows:
Man and Microbes: Disease and Plagues in History and
Modern Times; Arno Karlen Armies of Pestilence: The Effects of Pandemics on
History; R. S. Bray Plagues and Peoples; William H. McNeill More Cunning Than Man: A Social History of Rats and Man;
Robert Hendrickson
P.S. The Wiz was written by Joel Schumaker--who directed Batman & Robin, probably one of the worst films ever made. Oh, and the first assistant director was the gloriously-spelled Burtt Harris, who is not much better known for playing Ptl. Ricci in the classic heist film, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.
The music to The Wiz was all-original and the songs were in a gospel/R&B/Soul kind of style. I can still sing some of the lyrics to the Tin Man's song, "Slide Some Oil to Me":
Slide some oil to me
Let it slip down my spine
If you don't have STP,
Crisco will be just fine
Slip some to my elbows
and my fingers if you would
Slide some oil to me, girl
Oooh does that feel good!
My apologies to the original composer if I messed that up!
Obviously Mr. Eggers is referring to the French remake of The Wiz--which, oddly, predated its inspiration by a decade.
The French title Le Wiz des Plais un Buffalo translates to The Wizard of Upstate New York. It starred Gerard Depardieu, M. Emmett Walsh and porn star Ciccolina, and concerned the search not for a way home, but for an underwater tunnel to England.
Critics were most unkind. The movie did spawn a single top 40 hit, a duet between Astrud Gilberto and Leonard Cohen titled "Refreshments."
yo. the wiz is a phat movie. young michael jackson, diana ross, others star. not a french production. check it out. got that '70s orange and brown and glitter motif working. movie was extra expensive, and a huge flop at the box office. but its still cool as hell, for the stars and the time period it reflects.
For those who can't wait for the reissue of Rats Lice and History may be able to find a copy of the Bantam paperback at their local used bookstore. For instance, here in New York City, I saw one at the Strand a few weeks ago. And while Eggers has tantalized with the opening parry from the book, a reader shouldn't worry that the book falls off after the brilliant intro. Consider Chapter VIII which begins, "If it were not for the fact that so many utterly uninterested people die of disease or are killed in them, wars would not be taken so seriously." It includes the following pithy insight: "In 1708, the Swedes, having their own way in Southern Russia, completely lost the fruits of their hard-fought battles and were rendered helpless by an outbreak of plague."
Don't know much about the play, but my daughter has the 331/3 record of the orginal show. If interested you can reach her at . I am sure she will make you a tape copy, if requested.
The all-black version of The Wizard of Oz was called The Wizard of Space and Time and starred Mike Jittlov as the Wizard, over the protests of the NAACP, who complained that Mr. Jittlov was not actually black. There were substantial protests by some movie directors back in the mid-1980s when Ted Turner purchased the television rights and "colorized" the movie for viewing on WGN.
"The Wiz" is actually an electronics store in Manhattan; its chief competition is "Crazy Larry's," which was started by Clint Eastwood and named after Detective Larry Callaghan, the character he played in the 1974 movie Dirty Harry Crazy Larry. Perhaps the movie-related names of these Manhattan electronics stores is what is causing the confusion in the Fray.
Puh-leeze, people! It's obvious that you and Dave Eggers are talking about two completely different movies. I think what's throwing you off is his use of the term "all-black," which is filmmaker's jargon for "black and white." There was, indeed, a French version of the "Wizard" story, made by the great director Jean-Luc Ponty. As was his style, it was filmed all in black-and-white--unlike the "Wizard" we know, which turns to color in the middle. It was made in '64, but not released here until '75 or so, due to some censorship difficulties (the "Munchkins" in Ponty's version apparently uttered some profanities).
The film actually bears faint resemblance to the original L. Frank Baum novel: Ponty conceived of it more as a parable for imperialism (the characters fulfilling their wishes through "conquering" the idyllic land of Oz; the tornado is supposed to represent the chaos of the body politic, though I think the symbolism is a bit silly).
Anyway ... totally different flick from the Diana Ross Wiz. Just thought I'd try to straighten things out.
Many of you seem to be confusing the African-American version of The Wizard of Oz (The Wiz) with the multiracial French version (Les Wis). The latter starred Surya Bonaly as Dorothy, Celene Dion as the Wicked Witch of the West, Jean Reno as the Wizard and Gerard Depardieu as the Cowardly Lion. This should clear up any misunderstanding.
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Does It Make Sense To Pay Your CEO $1?
Highlights from the Fray (note: these highlights should be read after the final Diary entry):
See the Grenada flag here.
--Flaggist
(To reply, click here.)
1. Just a small comment re: The Wiz--Michael Jackson is in it pre-plastic surgery! You might not recognize him. Also, his dancing is rather more conventional than we're used to seeing in more recent years.
2. If there's a serious possibility of publishing some classic children's books, I have one to suggest: The Bears' Famous Invasion of Sicily, by Dino Buzzati. This one was originally published in (as I recall) 1947, in several different languages (original Italian, and definitely in French and English). I think the publisher was Pantheon Press. It is a delightful (probably not PC nowadays, however) story, with wonderful illustrations. It is also extremely hard to find a copy for sale, unfortunately. You should try to find a copy, read it, and find out who has the rights now. I should mention that Dino Buzzati is regarded by some as a sort of Italian equivalent of Kafka. There are a couple of collections of his writings available, translated in the last twenty years. The one I've read is titled The Siren, and it's good.
--Mark H. Nelson
(To reply, click here.)
The Wiz was a commercial as well as critical flop for one very good reason--the hideous miscasting of a certain leathery, over-the-hill egomaniacal dinosaur in the role of an apple-cheeked, doe-eyed teenage ingenue. Not since Lucy rendered "Mame" lame through a half-gallon wad of Vaseline and a burlap filter has a part been so terribly miscast in appeasement of a monstrous ego run amuck. Well, there is also Babs in Yentl, but that's a whole other institutional use sized can of non-pareve worms.
Yes, Michael Jackson would have been the logical choice, but remember that he was still black way back then. Perhaps that is why so many people complain they cannot locate a copy--maybe it is true that he really does buy up or suppress all available P.W.E.* images of himself. (*Pre-White Era)
I digress. Frequently and at length. So, back to The Wiz--the role of Dorothy was originated on Broadway by Stephanie Mills. I believe she started her run when she was about 15 and played it for about 8 years, but when it came time to make a movie, guess who was in tight (no pun intended) with Berry Gordy? It is said that they rewrote the part of Dorothy to be something a little easier and more believable for that battle ax Diana Ross to pass herself off as--a thirty-something dried-up spinster schoolmarm living at home with her parents.
The Wiz also begat one of Stephanie Mills most loved songs--her "Over the Rainbow," as it were--the beautiful anthem, "Home." I still get goose-pimply whenever I hear her sing it. I get sharp pains akin to needles piercing my skull even thinking of how badly The Boss' attempted appropriation of it sounded.
Useless Wiz factoids--both the original roadway show as well as the movie featured the recently late, great Mabel King (she died last week) as the Wicked Witch of the West throwin' down in the sweat shop to the gospel inflected strains of "No Bad News." Mabel King may perhaps be better known (but I doubt it) from the late seventies, early eighties blaxploitation sitcoms, What's Happenin' and That's My Mama.
To save some folks the time of writing in to tell us who else they remembered was in it, the principal cast was: Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Lena Horne, Richard Pryor, Nipsey Russell, Ted Ross, Mabel King, Theresa Merritt, Roberta Flack, Cissy Houston, Gwen Guthrie, and Luther Vandross.
--Mr. Too Much Information
(To reply, click here.)
The Broadway original cast recording is wonderful. Fabulous music, fabulous talent. "Ease on Down the Road, Home, Don't Bring Me No Bad News," much more. Also: "Be A Lion"!!! It's the kind of song you can sing along with at full volume and feel great the rest of the day. Love it. Run right out now and get a copy of it, you'll love it. Excuse me now, I gotta go find my copy. (Do not try to substitute the movie soundtrack!)
--lkoon
(To reply, click here.)
Rats, Lice and History--the 1984 Little, Brown paperback reprint (which is little, and red, and has ISBN number 0316988960)--stands at number 102,547 in Amazon.com's sales ranking.
It may or may not be of interest to note that David Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius: Based on a True Story--the year 2000 Simon and Schuster hardcover (which is bigger, multicolored, and has ISBN number 0684863472)--stands at number 1,117,559 in Amazon.com's sales ranking. (Buy it here.) But then again, it hasn't been published yet, so it can hardly be a bestseller.
It is probably worth noting that while Eggers' tome does not appear on the list of books also bought by purchasers of Rats, Lice and History, three of the four books so cited also have colons in their titles. For your edification, the full list follows:
Man and Microbes: Disease and Plagues in History and
Modern Times; Arno Karlen
Armies of Pestilence: The Effects of Pandemics on
History; R. S. Bray
Plagues and Peoples; William H. McNeill
More Cunning Than Man: A Social History of Rats and Man;
Robert Hendrickson
P.S. The Wiz was written by Joel Schumaker--who directed Batman & Robin, probably one of the worst films ever made. Oh, and the first assistant director was the gloriously-spelled Burtt Harris, who is not much better known for playing Ptl. Ricci in the classic heist film, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.
--Felix Salmon
(To reply, click here.)
The music to The Wiz was all-original and the songs were in a gospel/R&B/Soul kind of style. I can still sing some of the lyrics to the Tin Man's song, "Slide Some Oil to Me":
Slide some oil to me
Let it slip down my spine
If you don't have STP,
Crisco will be just fine
Slip some to my elbows
and my fingers if you would
Slide some oil to me, girl
Oooh does that feel good!
My apologies to the original composer if I messed that up!
--Denise
(To reply, click here.)
Obviously Mr. Eggers is referring to the French remake of The Wiz--which, oddly, predated its inspiration by a decade.
The French title Le Wiz des Plais un Buffalo translates to The Wizard of Upstate New York. It starred Gerard Depardieu, M. Emmett Walsh and porn star Ciccolina, and concerned the search not for a way home, but for an underwater tunnel to England.
Critics were most unkind. The movie did spawn a single top 40 hit, a duet between Astrud Gilberto and Leonard Cohen titled "Refreshments."
--Nehru Schwartz
(To reply, click here.)
yo. the wiz is a phat movie. young michael jackson, diana ross, others star. not a french production. check it out. got that '70s orange and brown and glitter motif working. movie was extra expensive, and a huge flop at the box office. but its still cool as hell, for the stars and the time period it reflects.
--a
[Fraymaster note: Computer host--antioch college.edu]
(To reply, click here.)
For those who can't wait for the reissue of Rats Lice and History may be able to find a copy of the Bantam paperback at their local used bookstore. For instance, here in New York City, I saw one at the Strand a few weeks ago. And while Eggers has tantalized with the opening parry from the book, a reader shouldn't worry that the book falls off after the brilliant intro. Consider Chapter VIII which begins, "If it were not for the fact that so many utterly uninterested people die of disease or are killed in them, wars would not be taken so seriously." It includes the following pithy insight: "In 1708, the Swedes, having their own way in Southern Russia, completely lost the fruits of their hard-fought battles and were rendered helpless by an outbreak of plague."
--diana silver
(To reply, click here.)
Don't know much about the play, but my daughter has the 331/3 record of the orginal show. If interested you can reach her at . I am sure she will make you a tape copy, if requested.
--John Snape
(To reply, click here.)
The all-black version of The Wizard of Oz was called The Wizard of Space and Time and starred Mike Jittlov as the Wizard, over the protests of the NAACP, who complained that Mr. Jittlov was not actually black. There were substantial protests by some movie directors back in the mid-1980s when Ted Turner purchased the television rights and "colorized" the movie for viewing on WGN.
"The Wiz" is actually an electronics store in Manhattan; its chief competition is "Crazy Larry's," which was started by Clint Eastwood and named after Detective Larry Callaghan, the character he played in the 1974 movie Dirty Harry Crazy Larry. Perhaps the movie-related names of these Manhattan electronics stores is what is causing the confusion in the Fray.
Hope this helps,
--Ted Frank
(To reply, click here.)
Puh-leeze, people! It's obvious that you and Dave Eggers are talking about two completely different movies. I think what's throwing you off is his use of the term "all-black," which is filmmaker's jargon for "black and white." There was, indeed, a French version of the "Wizard" story, made by the great director Jean-Luc Ponty. As was his style, it was filmed all in black-and-white--unlike the "Wizard" we know, which turns to color in the middle. It was made in '64, but not released here until '75 or so, due to some censorship difficulties (the "Munchkins" in Ponty's version apparently uttered some profanities).
The film actually bears faint resemblance to the original L. Frank Baum novel: Ponty conceived of it more as a parable for imperialism (the characters fulfilling their wishes through "conquering" the idyllic land of Oz; the tornado is supposed to represent the chaos of the body politic, though I think the symbolism is a bit silly).
Anyway ... totally different flick from the Diana Ross Wiz. Just thought I'd try to straighten things out.
--Rupe Pupkin
(To reply, click here.)
Many of you seem to be confusing the African-American version of The Wizard of Oz (The Wiz) with the multiracial French version (Les Wis). The latter starred Surya Bonaly as Dorothy, Celene Dion as the Wicked Witch of the West, Jean Reno as the Wizard and Gerard Depardieu as the Cowardly Lion. This should clear up any misunderstanding.
--Jim
(To reply, click here.)
(12/20)