Qualifications

By Randy Cohen

Eligibility is based on religious knowledge and revolutionary credentials. Eligibility for what?

by noon ET Tuesday to e-mail your answer (newsquiz@slate.com).

Responses to Thursday's question (No. 129)--"Battle Cry":
Twenty-five years ago this month, President Nixon rallied America: "Let us set as our national goal, with the determination of the Manhattan Project, that by the end of this decade we will have developed the potential to ..."
To do what? And (briefly) how did that work out, anyway?

"Replace our professional baseball players with cyborg übermen. How did it work out? Sweeeep! And of course, the embarrassing killing spree during the parade. Who knew cyborgs hate ticker tape?"--Beth Sherman

"Create stunning salon-quality hairstyles in minutes, hairstyles that will stay in place all day long without unsightly pins. I'd say it worked out rather well. Ladies and gentlemen: the Teeni Hairdini Magic Styling Wand!"--Tim Rogers

"Blow up the moon! Unfortunately, radical space preservationists prevented this from taking place."--Matt Sullivan

"Eliminate 5 o'clock shadow in our lifetime. If only he had lived to see the Mach 3."--Michael Travers

"Physically destroy audio tapes. What? We have that potential already?! Well, why the (expletive deleted) didn't anybody tell me?"--Daniel Radosh (Dan Simon had a similar answer, as did Peter Lerangis, playing on the pardon, and David Finkle , playing on the break-in.)

Click here for more responses.

Randy's Wrap-Up
While Nixon is, deservedly, the most mocked ex-president, today's question perhaps encouraged a too-easy, inferior sort of jeering. It is no trick to look back from the vantage point of the present and see what went awry in the past. Bubonic plague, for instance--there was a mistake. And that big meteor that destroyed all the dinosaurs--maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time. It is comforting, the sense of mastery the present has over the past, if not morally or psychologically, then at least technologically, which is nearly the same thing. (We're Era No.1!) It invites those delightful Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court fantasies, where you go back in time and avert a present woe by killing Bing Crosby. In the movie version. In the book, you swagger about, impressing the locals with your watch, your lighter, and your hand gun--until the battery, the butane, and the bullets expire, and then where are you? It is unlikely that you can re-create these or any modern marvels. Just because you inhabit an era doesn't mean you could build one. However, back there in the past, you would be able to make a lot of money betting with your gullible forebears about upcoming events. If you remembered anything from this century--like, say, the fate of Chile's democratically elected Allende government.

Fuel-Efficient Answer
Become independent of foreign oil.
With the 1973 OPEC embargo, Nixon became the first of a series of presidents to urge American energy self-sufficiency. For 10 years there were improvements in the efficiency of homes, cars, and businesses, with the corollary benefit of reduced pollution. But since the mid-'80s, reports Allen Myerson in the New York Times, consumption has climbed nearly to pre-1973 levels.
Average house size has risen from 1,600 square feet to 2,100 square feet, even as family size has shrunk from 3.6 to 3 people. Car size and horsepower have increased as have the number of hours spent driving. And the Kyoto accord, which might reduce energy consumption, is being staunchly resisted by the Republican Congress. Conservation is now so unpopular an idea--it has come to invoke only a lowered standard of living--that even its advocates shun the label. At least until the next invasion of the Kuwaiti oil fields.

Free (Or at Least Heavily Discounted) Press Extra
In honor of last week's Magazine Publishers Association conference in Orlando, Fla., match each actual article with the actual magazine in which it appears. (All drawn from current online editions.)

Articles
A. "Women Find Tomb Duty Enriching"
B. "Foreign Body Removal Made Easy"
C. "You Are More Than a Conqueror"
D. "Cleaning Your Feathers"
E. "A Public Nuisance: Fostering Community Relations"
F. "Handling Prima Donnas"
G. "Cut Your Way to Success"
H. "Sally's Small Oriental"
I. "Stretches Over 120 Inches Still Prominent"
J. "Pleasant Surprises in the Latest Tax Law"

Magazines
1. Professional Carwashing and Detailing
2. Pharmacy Week
3. Army Times
4. SpiritLed Woman
5. Rughooking
6. Optometry Today
7. Limousine & Chauffeured Transportation
8. Primitive Archer
9. Podiatry Management
10. Dollhouse Miniatures

Answers
A-3, B-6, C-4, D-8, E-1, F-2, G-10, H-5, I-7, J-9.

Correction
The association did not adopt as its official slogan:

• Magazines--50 years ago there were lots of good ones!
  
• Where cigarette ads are always welcome.
  
• Like television you can stuff down your pants.

Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate's discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission.