"Listen, if the women of Kuwait want the vote that bad, they're crazy."--Dave Gaffen

"Rupert Murdoch is searching for a new paramour, is he?"--J. J. Sutherland

"Chimp culture."--Paul Van Vleck

"Laura Bush and the twins."--Daniel Radosh (Jill Pope had a similar answer.)

"Smiling Makeup No Gum Land of Happy Kostomer Soda! the infamous Tokyo social club."--Colleen Werthmann

"As every fifth-grader learns in civics class, these are excerpts from the Arizona state constitution."--Chris Thomas

"The Independent Women's Forum. Take it away, Katha Pollitt!"--J. Decker

"The annual Poststructuralist Feminist Theory Conference at UC-Santa Cruz."--Katha Pollitt

"Post-feminism, which is looking more like pre-feminism every day now."--Matt Sullivan

"Wendy Shalit's personal assistant."--Sam Coppersmith (similarly, Dee Lacey; but Roiphean, Joy Nolan)

"The WNBA. Because along with game, they got class."--Peter "I Meant That To Be Ironic, I Swear" Carlin

"New female referees in the NBA."--Mike Behn

"Looks like Heidi Fleiss' file on Charlie Sheen has finally surfaced."--Dwight Lemke

"Damn you, China! Someone's stolen and released to the media the rules of conduct around Clarence Thomas' hot tub."--Jon Hotchkiss

"Elevator operators in Japanese department stores or staffers in Tom DeLay's office."--Dan "Bob's Big Boy in Osaka Doesn't Serve Burgers or Shakes" Ricci

"Parliamentary process."--Eric Fredericksen

"Henry Hyde's new rules for all future attorneys general."--Chris Sterritt (similarly, Mary Anne Townsend)

"The 1963 conference of cardinals popularly referred to as 'Vatican II.' "--Bob Bruc

"Entrance into the 'blonde Republicans in short skirts' cabal."--Norman Oder (similarly, Jon Hotchkiss)

"The View; rules that led to the unfair ouster of Debbie Matenopoulos."--Matt Sullivan

"Marriage to the English royals."--Herb Terns and Ellen Macleay

"Stewardesses on Singapore Airlines."--John Wood, Ugo Panizza, and Rajan Sharma (similarly, Darren Thorneycroft and Greg Diamond)

"Rules governing behavior on that really cool science fiction planet where the male astronaut is, like, stranded, and the entire planet is, like, populated by gorgeous, incredibly horny women in these, like, torpedo bras."--Richard Nikonovich-Kahn

"Behavior under the desk in the Oval Office. (Also, no baked potatoes after 6 p.m.)"--Bill Scheft (similarly, everyone)

"The Girl Scouts have changed a lot over the years. But selling cookies requires marketing sensibilities, so these new rules make sense to me."--Jon Marks

"Guess you should've read the terms of service before you clicked 'I accept' on the Office 2000 installer."--Daniel Radosh

"If I'd known Office 98 gave Microsoft access to my dreams, I never would have installed it."--Alex Balk

"The prescribed conduct of prison staff under Texas' new compassionate executions policy."--Eric Donaldson

"Employee behavior at the new Ms. magazine."--Jon "Vassar Grad, Ms. Subscriber, Really, It's Just a Joke, I Swear" Delfin

"Employee behavior at Disney World's new 'Hooker Land.' "--Jill Pope (similarly, Steve Gozdecki)

"It's either Hooters or the U.S. Postal Service, I can't recall which."--Winter Miller

"If it's what I think it is, Sandra Day O'Connor is going to be pissed."--Mark Myers (similarly, Mike Mays and Leslie Goodman-Malamuth)

"Promotion of female academics in American universities."--P. Mattick

"The U.S. Senate."--Evan Cornog (similarly, but the House, Jon Delfin)

"The residents of Giuliani's New York City."--Tim Rogers (similarly, Jon Delfin)

"Should be the rules of marriage."--Michael Holloway

" 'While-you're-under-my-roof' rules just invented by Al Gore."--Sean Fitzpatrick (similarly, Timothy R Prodin)

"I don't know, but the document was cc'd to Sydney Biddle Barrows."--Alex Pascover (similarly, Leslie Goodman-Malamuth)

"Dr. Sister Rosalita lays down the law to the presentation nuns of the Holy Heart of Mary Regional High School for Girls."--Andrew Staples

Andrew Staples' Catholic Corner

"This place still exists, in St. John's, Newfoundland. A quirk of local politics has now decreed that it lose its religious and same-sex status, so that it is now just another urban high school 'for boys and girls'; sadly, this is also true for other St. John's Catholic Schools: Mary, Queen of Peace, Mary, Queen of the World, and St. Ignatius (the former 'brother' school for Holy Heart). What is doubly weird is that although these schools are officially secular and funded by the government, they haven't (wouldn't dare) changed their names.

"Dr. Sister Rosalita (she apparently used to roll her cigarettes up in her arm when she mowed the school lawn) has retired from teaching but still lives in the convent for the presentation nuns attached to the Holy Heart School. You might say that there is not really the same separation between church and state here in Canada that you find south of the border."

Self-Reference Corner

"Well, it sounds similar to my dating life, only reversed."--Floyd "It Really Is a Small World After All, Especially Inside My Head" Elliot (similarly, but less self-effacing, J. J. Sutherland)

"This sounds like my friend Pam's old vanpool."--Hugh Rubin

"Please take whatever Ananda Gupta writes, substitute the name 'George W. Bush' for 'Al Gore' and vice versa, and put my name on it. Repeat until 2001."--Greg Diamond