"That Was Way Too Close!"Wonderfully absurd escapes from mortal danger in the original G.I. Joe cartoon.
Posted Thursday, Aug. 6, 2009, at 1:04 PM ET
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StumbleUponOpening Friday, the $175 million blockbuster G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is bigger, slicker, and more violent than its 1980s animated counterpart. (Or so one gathers from the trailer—Paramount isn't screening the movie for critics.) Last month, Adrian Chen recalled the goofier days of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero with a video slide show of the classic Saturday morning cartoon's most ridiculous moments:
The first war between G.I. Joe and Cobra (1985-86), as documented in the G.I. Joe animated series, was the most violent conflict in history never to result in a single casualty. Through a combination of terrible aim, superhuman jumping ability, and impossibly reliable parachutes, every combatant escaped even the most dire of situations without so much as the angle of his beret askew. The G.I Joe series is an ode to the improbable escape, and the thrill of the violence comes not from the possibility of death but from the zany ways the Joes and Cobras avoid it. (Will the live-action G.I. Joe film due later this summer stick to the cartoon's bloodless ways? Not likely.) Herewith, a collection of the most ridiculous escapes in G.I. Joe history.
Click here for a video slide show of elaborate escapes from mortal danger in the original G.I. Joe cartoon.
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Ye gods, this show was terrible on all counts. I remember now why I never watched it. The bloodless battles, the endless gadgets that James Bond would crave, talking animals and the evil leaders always escape to screw up another day. Ugh.
So which is funnier: the Indian flying the plane with no jump suit and with a bird on his shoulder (that has to be breaking a few regulations) or the guy crashing into the one tree with an unoccupied tank beneath it?
It was brave of the movie producers to take this material to the studio heads and ask for a $100 million or more. I would have said no instantly.
Now if only a brave producer will do a movie version of Starblazers or Robotech/Macross...
"Fire me, boy!"
-- Doughdee222
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As a Gen-X girl, I used to watch G.I. Joe mainly for Jane because back in the 80s, hell even now, there are few strong, fighting cartoon girls/women. Besides Jane, there was She Ra, Firestar, and um, that's it, I think. Wait, if you count the Justice League, which was mainly from the late 70s, we had Wonder Women and that lame Twin.
-- jinez
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