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Nice To Meet You. Please Don't Touch Me.Dear Prudence counsels a career woman whose religion forbids her from shaking hands with men—and other advice seekers.

Posted Monday, May 11, 2009, at 2:28 PM ET

—Confused in Georgia

Emily Yoffe: It is respectful to let a funeral party pass so that everyone can get to the cemetery at the same time. However, surely the people in the party do not expect everyone who happens to be on the highway at that moment to join the processional. They should have formed a single lane so other traffic could pass. It sounds fine that people slowly tried to make their way around them. Chalk up the rudeness of the people in the procession to being overcome with grief.

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NY: Previously I was having an emotional relationship with a married man and although we didn't have any kind of contact, the fire and the passion to want him was there. After hating ourselves and the many arguments, we decided never to speak again. I am happy now and feel free, as though a great weight was lifted and I hope that he is happy with his wife and I wish him well. I am not proud of what I have done and will not repeat my mistakes. However, now I'm with someone who is amazing and dependable, I love him and want to be with him and him only.

Everything works with him and I can see myself settling down with him. The thing that scares me is that I do not feel a deep burning fire and wanting like I did when I was in my "previous" relationship. Was the fire there just out of wanting something I can't have? Like the forbidden fruit?

Emily Yoffe: It's impossible to know whether you were drawn to the forbidden nature of this man, and that's what gave the relationship its passion, or whether you two would have felt it had he been free. I can almost guarantee that had he been free, and you'd married, that fire and passion would have been banked eventually. It sounds as if you not only have something wonderful with your new guy, but you are content, even if it lacks the frisson you felt before. If you give that up to try to experience something so elusive, you will surely regret it.

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St. Louis, Mo.: Dear Prudence, what does one do when one hates one's job so thoroughly? Last week I was told that "some people" think I spend too much time on the Internet (sort of like now), never mind that my work gets done in a timely and efficient manner. So spending less time on the interwebs, I've realized it was the only thing that got me through the day. Without that outlet, I get no intellectual stimulation through my job. This was not always the case, due to the economy (I know, I know) the company I work for has downsized, which in turn caused a reorganization. Though they called it a lateral move, it was definitely a demotion for me. Now I find it harder and harder to even pretend that I'm happy. How do I shake this off? I know I should just be grateful I have a job that still pays good and is somewhat secure, but I HATE it so much.

Emily Yoffe: You are going to surf your way out of a job if your behavior and attitude doesn't change. If you find the situation you're in impossible, then start looking for another job. In the meantime, since you say you get your work done in a timely and efficient manner, explain to your superiors that with the downsizing, you are hoping there are opportunities for you to expand your duties. Try to think of ways you can be more useful if they don't offer any. Obviously you do have the good judgment to choose to surf the Washington Post and Slate.

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Maryland: I recently eloped and sent out wedding announcements. A lot of the congratulatory responses so far have included near the beginning of the conversation a question asking "Were your parents upset that you left them out?" or "How did your parents feel"? The questions have a critical feeling to them. Other comments have been made to me that I'll regret not having had a wedding. A few people have asked if I sent the announcements expecting gifts.

For the record, our parents were okay that we eloped. I do not regret it, and do not expect gifts. Announcements just seemed the nicest way to tell our friends about it.

Do you have any great comebacks or advice for how I should respond to these critical questions and comments? I just wish everyone would leave it at "congratulations."

Emily Yoffe: You've been giving good answers. "No, our parents weren't upset." "We don't want gifts—we just wanted everyone to know our good news." "We had a great time eloping, so I don't think I'll regret it." By the way, I eloped 15 years ago and have never regretted it. But if, oh, 10 or 20 years down the road you do think, "Gee, I'd like to put on that wedding now that I never had then" DON'T!

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Re: Gaithersburg: I once worked with someone who could not touch men outside of her family. When a hand was offered to her, she would look them in the eye and say warmly and simply "I can't shake hands for religious reasons, but it's a pleasure to meet/see you." I always thought it was graceful and to the point.

Emily Yoffe: Perfect! It shows it can be done in gracious way that makes the other person comfortable.

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Jacksonville, Fla.: Our 40-inch flat screen was broken two weeks ago by a friend's child playing Wii. The strap was not on tightly and it flew and hit the TV. It was beyond repair and we had to get another TV. How do I handle this with my friend? She wants to give us money for the TV. Thanks.

Emily Yoffe: Sounds like it was your Wii which wasn't properly set up, so it was just an unfortunate—if expensive—accident. Your friend is generous to offer to help pay, so decide on some percentage you both feel comfortable with.

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Central Virginia: I need some advice on how to handle a conversation I overheard at my doctor's office. After my doctor left the examining room, I heard someone in the hallway remark that she was late. She replied that she was late getting back from lunch and her first patient after lunch (me) took a lot of time. She then made fun of me, listing my symptoms in a whiny, mocking voice. I waited almost 20 minutes for her and she spent less than 15 minutes with me discussing a new, rather serious ailment, for which I had been hospitalized. I am very hurt and confused. I have been going to this doctor for several years and I have always tried not to be one of those "difficult" patients. Should I speak to her about this, or find a new doctor?

Emily Yoffe: You might have to do both. If you feel you never want to see her again, then start looking for another doctor. But in any case, you need to get your doctor on the phone and tell her just what you said here. Try to keep your cool and say that she can surely understand how deeply disturbing this was, and that you also felt you were given perfunctory treatment during the examination. You can say you understand the doctor/patient relationship IS a relationship and perhaps this one is broken. If you have up until now been satisfied, then do give her a chance to apologize. I have known people who, after the doctor made a mistake, have stayed with the doctor and gotten very, very attentive subsequent care.

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Philadelphia, Pa.: Hi Prudence,

My sister-in-law, a hard-working college freshman finding her way through the academic and social bumps of her first year away from home, lives on campus close to my husband's and my neighborhood. Problem: she's always short on money, and is always asking me, my husband and my family members: $100 here, $25 there. She always promises to pay it back, and seems genuine in her intentions at the moment, but never comes through. It's not like giving her $100 will scuttle us—but the bigger issue I see is condoning the bad habit of forgetting to pay up. We're not her parents, she's far from home, and we do want to support her however we can. Should I raise the issue of the "borrowed" money to make a point about honoring obligations, however small, or should I let this issue go since the amounts of money are relatively small and she's got plenty on her plate as a busy student?