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Pocketbook PersecutionPrudie counsels a woman whose mother won't stop badgering her son-in-law about his religious beliefs—and other advice seekers.

Posted Monday, May 4, 2009, at 3:14 PM ET

Who ARE these people who approach you? And why do they make the assumption that you're the mom? You could be the nanny. On the other end of the age spectrum, people shouldn't assume someone's the grandparent.

FWIW, my mom always says that 24 is the perfect age to have a baby, and she had them at six different ages, so she had some basis for her thinking.

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Emily Yoffe: Are YOU the baby who was born when Mom was 24? She may have told your five siblings that the age she had them was also perfect. And you're right, unless the guardian is wearing a "I'm Grampa" or "I'm Grandma" tee shirt, don't make the assumption that old looking people can't be the parents.

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You don't mention children. : Um, she did mention children. The husband got caught saying he only stayed with his wife because of their daughters.

Emily Yoffe: The curse of speed reading. Thanks for the catch! Yes, this becomes much more difficult then.

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For the good neighbor: It is important to be able to set boundaries. If I have friends or acquaintances that drop by with children, I keep an eye on the children while the parents chat with me. If the children aim for something like a drawer or shelf that they aren't supposed to be by, I ask them to please leave that alone as it isn't for children to play with. If they get on the furniture, then I say, no jumping on the furniture in this house. And if there is a room that they aren't supposed to go in, I close the door. If they go in before I get to the door, I say, "no kids in the bedroom, come on out...and then close the door. It's easy to set boundaries and once you start setting them, you'll notice that a number of parents who visit more than once will remember some of those boundaries and help you enforce them the next time. Just be firm and friendly.

Emily Yoffe: Excellent advice. And "firm and friendly" is so important.

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Washington, D.C.: Re: dating friends' exes.

Maybe the friend who dates her friends' exes immediately after a break up should do a self-esteem check and figure out why, out of all of the guys/girls in the world, she wanted to date the friend's ex.

Emily Yoffe: Sorry, no self-esteem check needs to be done if someone terrific in your social circle has just become available and you want to act on that. There's no mystery why you would prefer dating someone you know to looking for a stranger.

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Phoenix, AZ: Dear Prudence: I once had a very close relationship with my dad, until he got married about a year ago. His wife has successfully driven a wedge between my father and his children, which includes my two brothers. She instigates problems by name calling, sending unsolicited e-mails about issues things that don't concern her, and being outright rude by ignoring us or making snide comments when other people are around. It's very childlike. We're all in our late 20s and prefer not to be around her, but we really miss our father. Things really started to crumble after my husband responded to a rude e-mail she sent inquiring about a late Christmas present for my dad. My husband's response included some savory words which she didn't appreciate. I can understand why. However after that, my father refused to speak to me. It's been going on for over two months now and I've called him but he won't return my calls. He recently cornered my husband and demanded that he apologize to his wife, but I feel it's completely out of line. She has been causing deliberate pain in our family for more than a year without so much as acknowledging an issue, and now she is demanding an apology for an e-mail. I feel that if anything, my brothers and I deserve the apology first, and that the e-mail was mild compared to some of her past behavior. How can I mend things with my dad and help him understand that despite her wishes, his kids will always be a part of his life? -Distraught about Dad

Emily Yoffe: It is sad and maddening when a parent marries someone who feels her biggest job is to try to obliterate the fact that he has a family. You are going to have to accept to some degree that your father has made his choice and no one will win this war. She sounds like a head case. However, it would be great if you husband, not because he means it but for the sake of family unity, apologizes for his intemperate words. It will cost him nothing and it might gain a lot of good will.

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Arlington, Va.: Re exes -- that's why I'm bringing it up here instead of talking to the "group" about it.

Emily Yoffe: Good -- keep that up. And I hope it feels better just to have gotten it out and made your point. Now forget about them. If you want to really confound them, be pleased for them!

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Emily Yoffe: Thanks, everyone. And Happy Mother's Day to mothers young and old.

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