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Pocketbook PersecutionPrudie counsels a woman whose mother won't stop badgering her son-in-law about his religious beliefs—and other advice seekers.

Posted Monday, May 4, 2009, at 3:14 PM ET

Rockville, Md.: My boyfriend of 3+ years recently broke up with me, stating that he needed time and space to figure out his life. This was about two weeks ago. We live(d) together, and now I am staying with my parents. We still talk on a regular basis, and the conversations still end with "I love you" and I get regular text messages that say "I miss you, come back home." I guess my questions is: how do I know where to draw boundaries for him so that I'm not more hurt in the long run? I love him and want to be with him (we had talked about marriage) and I don't want to not have him in my life, but these mixed messages are creating such havoc on me emotionally. I don't know what to do or how to react. I know for my own sake I should cut him off at least until the fresh wounds heal, and I just need someone to tell me so.

Emily Yoffe: I'm telling you so. He wanted to be free to explore his options, but he'd like to keep you on the string in case it turns out you're the best option (is he actually saying he wants you to live with him while he does his exploration?). The contact only keeps you confused and in constant pain -- as you are now. Next time he calls or emails say that he broke up with you and it's been terribly hurtful. Now you're calling for a moratorium on your contact so that you can explore your options too. Then stick with it -- unless he can clearly say he made a mistake and wants to get back together. Which you shouldn't rush to do, anyway.

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?: How do you "unfriend" someone, not on Facebook, but in real life? This is a person who is also friendly with someone I know well, so it is not unlikely that we might all get together through our mutual friend. However, it might seem odd to the mutual friend that I no longer wish to associate with this person. I see both of them at work and we often eat lunch together. How should I handle this? My main reason for unfriending this person is a serious lack of boundaries on their part (constant evangelizing me to her religion, constant "invitations" which are hard to say no to, bad manners, etc.).

Emily Yoffe: You can't completely remove this person from your life. What you need to do is reestablish that you have a professionally friendly relationship. Remain cordial, limit the lunches, and when you find yourself in situations with this person, as with the evangelical atheist mother above, learn to say, "I'd rather not get into that, thanks" or "I appreciate the invitation, but I'm busy."

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Hotlanta: Prue,

Out drinking with some guys, and one of them says he could never be happy with just one girl. Foolishly, I agreed -- all in front of my girlfriend! Now she's giving the silent treatment. I groveled and I think she's over it. But I actually agree with my buddy! So do I just lie to the GF in the hopes of keeping the peace?

Emily Yoffe: What's your question: Do you lie to your girlfriend about the fact that you could never be happy being faithful to her? Or do you lie about being faithful to her and cheat on her so you can be happy?

Many people struggle with monogamy -- it may be a particularly acute struggle in "Hotlanta" -- but you have to clarify for yourself what you want out of this relationship before you decide what you want to be honest about.

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Arlington, Va.: Dear Prudence,

Do you believe that love is meant for everyone? I am starting to believe that love will never be in my life. "Friends" claim this will come across to a man. Frankly, I am just so tired of rejection and being hurt. No one discusses this side of dating, just "get back out there". Well, I don't know how to when I am still hurting over past pain. I see people fall in love and date all the time, but it seems to continue to elude me. I'm cynical. What do I do? Thanks.

Emily Yoffe: Obviously love doesn't happen for everyone. But most people have a good shot at it. I disagree with your friends about "getting back out there." You sound emotionally drained and unhappy, and they're right, that will come across. This isn't a race in which you feel you have to stumble, bruised and bleeding, to the finish line. Why not take a hiatus from the search for love, and search for things that make you happy? This could be volunteer work, travel, taking classes, etc. Therapy might usefully help you figure out if there's been a pattern to your past unhappy experiences

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Arlington, Va.: So, is it wrong to expect friends, even if not particularly close friends, to stay away from exes with whom you're still friends and the exes to do the same -- particularly when you share many mutual friends? My feelings are that while dating can be tough, the world is big enough that you don't need to date someone when you KNOW it will hurt a friend's feelings. That's how I operate but (obviously) I'm finding that not everyone else does. Oh -- and no heads up from either.

Emily Yoffe: Single adults who are mutually attracted don't have to ask you for permission to pursue that attraction. If someone is an ex, you can't still have dibs on him or her. Sure, I can understand if a good friend suddenly looks at your discard and says, "Hey, he looks pretty good to me!" that that can be awkward. But it's awfully presumptuous of you to declare that people in your social circle have to look for strangers to date, instead of other people in your social circle.

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San Francisco, Calif.: Dear Prudie,

My husband and I live on a lovely street with kind and friendly neighbors. My husband and I have yet to have kids. The neighbors down the street have two young children. I adore kids and enjoy playing with them. But the problem is that they, with mom or dad, will stop by frequently, unannounced.

The kids will come in and run around, while the parent talks with us. The kids will sometimes rummage through drawers, climb on and stand on the couch in their shoes. One day they even ran into our bedroom and climbed on our bed! The parents do little to police them. And I don't know how to handle it. Sometimes I feel like the visits are so we can babysit for a few minutes. What do I do? I like my neighbors, and their children -- but sometimes it is too much.

-- Afraid of being a bad neighbor.

Emily Yoffe: What you say is, "It's lovely to see you, but I'm afraid now is not a good time, so we'll have to socialize sometime soon. Bye!"

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Washington, D.C.: I can relate to the person dealing with the inappropriate political chatter of their board. I work in a non-profit organization devoted to children (can't say more than that!) and routinely get barraged by e-mails from the CEO about his political preferences. Editorials, jokes, "don't forget to vote, and the right way (wink, wink)", etc. It has definitely been oppressive at times. It offends me, and I actually share most of his persuasions! However, I am in no position to do a pull-aside and say something. It would be the last thing I ever said in this building! I would say ignore and realize that more people are annoyed than you know about and it only makes the idiot spouting off their views look bad, not you for being quiet. If we lead by our professionalism, things will change.

Emily Yoffe: I wonder if this can't be part of a wider discussion about keeping politics out of your mission as there may be donors who don't share individuals' political views, but who do believe in the goals of the organization.