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We Aren't FamilyDear Prudence counsels a woman who's unsure how to define "extended family" and other advice seekers.

Posted Monday, April 27, 2009, at 4:32 PM ET

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re: Facebook, to defriend or not?: You can defriend. They don't get notified. If you want to keep them on, though, you can change your privacy settings so they basically don't see anything. Or only certain things. Have a teenager or college-aged student show you.

Emily Yoffe: Good advice. Another reminder of why it's worth it to have children.

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Want more sex: I'm having trouble getting used to the idea of having sex only with one person. My girlfriend is wonderful -- both in and out of bed -- but I find my eye wandering and wanting more variety. I know, we're supposed to surpress these things and get with the monogamy program, but I'm having real trouble with this concept. I'm old enough to think that these desires aren't going to change -- do most people just surpress them or am I doing something wrong?

Emily Yoffe: Well, if there were a perfect way to suppress, divorce wouldn't have been invented. What you are feeling is totally normal, and there is no magic secret to not desiring other women. But it's like anything else where you decide to control your impulses for your greater benefit: studying for the test instead of going out drinking; saying no to the second portion so you can fit in your pants; keeping your pants zipped because what you have with your girlfriend is worth more than the temporary thrill of chasing someone new. As with giving up anything, it should become easier the longer you do it.

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Washington, D.C.: I have recently cut out a friend from my life. She's hyper-sensitive, dramatic, oblivious, and hypocritical. To be fair, she's also funny, smart, and compassionate. I've just decided the positive no longer outweighs the negative, and I am not interested in maintaining our friendship.

She is not completely out of the social fabric of my life, however, as we have several mutual friends. One of those friends has been asking me why "Jane" and I are no longer speaking, and is trying to reconcile us. I have no interest in reconciliation, and no desire to put my friend in the middle of this. How can I politely tell her to back off?

Emily Yoffe: If you and Jane were close, have you done her the favor of telling her that while you care very much for her, you've found the friendship to be draining and think you should see less of each other? Or have you just disappeared from her life? If Jane knows why you are no longer close, then it's easy to tell the other friend that you and Jane have talked about your relationship and that you're comfortable where things are now and no reconciliation is necessary.

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New Haven, Conn.: My half sister (my mom's daughter) organized a birthday party for my 70 year old father, which was very nice. The problem is that she organized it for a Friday afternoon, knowing full well that I work -- and have worked for the past 20 years -- M-F, 8:30 a.m.-6 p.m. She said she couldn't move it because her work schedule (she's a part-time nurse) was carved in stone. For the record, it wasn't on or even near Dad's actual birthday. I told my mom I couldn't make it and why (I had broken my ankle earlier in the year and couldn't take more time off) but I never replied to my sister's email informing me of the party.

Now that it is over, do I just let it go? Or do I speak with her about it? I am the youngest and often I am not consulted about family plans, even though I'm nearly 40 years old.

Emily Yoffe: That was a lousy thing of your half-sister to do. You should have taken the opportunity of the invitation to explain to her that you would have been happy to talk to her about a time to celebrate your father's birthday that would have included all of you. Since this is still burning you up, if you can muster all your self-control,express in the calmest possible way to her that it was painful for you not be able to attend your father's birthday celebration. Getting it off your chest will probably be better than quietly seething. Then why don't you take your father out (on his actual birthday!) so that you can enjoy his company.

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Minneapolis: elevator exit: Here's one more angle: I was taught that if a man was near the elevator door, he exited first, but then paused to hold the elevator door lest it close on the lady while she exited.

Emily Yoffe: However you all decide to do it, get out of the elevator in time to enjoy a beautiful spring day!

Talk to you next week.