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We Aren't FamilyDear Prudence counsels a woman who's unsure how to define "extended family" and other advice seekers.

Posted Monday, April 27, 2009, at 4:32 PM ET

Emily Yoffe: Here's what I don't understand about Facebook. Since it's so public a medium, why would you post things on it you wouldn't be willing to let all the people you've friended see? Are you going to post about the people you're dating, etc? (Why?) In any case, it's your page and if it makes you feel squeamish to have ex-in laws on it, just defriend them. I don't think matrimonial law has dealt with custody of Facebook friends yet.

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College Station, Texas: Dear Prudence: I'm a graduate student, and most of my friends are students in the same program. For the most part, we all get along or at least stay out of each other's hair. The problem is, this year a young woman came into the program who is extremely lacking in social skills. She often interrupts entire conversations, even in the middle of class, to offer unrelated comments which she somehow thinks are more insightful than those made by others. Recently, she angered our most patient (with her) peer by saying in front of others that he had taken a very long time to make a point that could have easily been summed up in less time.

She has started to realize that people avoid her, but she seems to think it's the departmental snobiness and not her behavior that's the problem. We are honestly trying to like her, but it's getting harder as the year draws to a close. Given that a career in academia entails networking and communicating with people, should we say something so that she will stop sabotaging herself (and to make life easier for everybody)?

--The Now-Evasive Grad

Emily Yoffe: This sounds like an issue that goes way beyond simply telling her to stop self-sabotage. She evidently has some kind of social disability, possibly Asperger's, and she should be getting serious help to help her understand social clues better. Having an academic supervisor talk this over with her and give her some leads would be a better way to go. Maybe a couple of you can bring this up with the supervisor and suggest he or she intervene for this girl's benefit.

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Boston: I have to admit I hate when guys standing closer to the elevator door make me shimmy past them to get out first. You are in my WAY and it will be easier and faster for both of us if you just get OFF. Thanks. That felt great.

Emily Yoffe: Perhaps they are enjoying the shimmying. It's not often that etiquette brings such thrills.

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Newton, Mass.: But what does Rochester, Minn. do when some relatives, the ones who simply RSVPed, "Thanks, we'll be there!" show up with their kids in tow? And how do Rochester's obedient relatives feel -- the ones who got the babysitter? I've had this experience (both in the hostess role and the "good guest" role) on more than one occasion.

Emily Yoffe: Rochester might want to take an extra step and send an email "reminder" about the event to the relatives and mention it it she just wants to clarify that unfortunately there is limited seating at the restaurant so she hopes everyone understands this is an adults-only event. Then when rude people show up with the kids, there's not much you can do but try to accommodate them. Surely that doesn't make the people who didn't act like jerks feel, "Hey, I should have acted like a jerk and brought my kids, too!"

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DC: Elevator Exit: I was taught men exit elevators first, especially in parking garages. This was in case someone was lurking near the elevator waiting to cause trouble.

Emily Yoffe: Now I am wondering how people manage to get in and out of the office several times a day with all these tie ups at the elevator door. It's starting to sound like the stateroom scene in "A Night at the Opera." In general, it's women to the lifeboats and out of the elevators first. In parking garages, sure, the men can take the first blow.

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I'm NOT too young for you!: Dear Prudie,

There's a very nice man who has made it clear both that he's interested (to the extent that others have commented to me on it) AND that he knows he's "too old" for me and will therefore not act on his interest. He's only about 5 years older than me, and we're both well over 30.

What's a reasonably polite way to communicate that we are actually close in age? I tried low-key flirting and he grinned, then gathered himself up and left.

Emily Yoffe: Are you sure he's in his thirties? He sounds like he's about 13. Obviously, a five year age difference is unimportant, so maybe he's actually not that interested. Alternatively, he could be pathologically shy. You sound bolder, so just go up to him and ask him if he'd like to get together for coffee or a drink.