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Mighty AphroditeDear Prudence counsels a lovelorn student and other advice seekers.

Posted Tuesday, April 21, 2009, at 4:54 PM ET

Emily Yoffe: Good point. But obviously this guy doesn't see it that way, and they have fallen into the eternal pattern of her nagging, and him resenting. If anyone has solved this, I'd love to hear.

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Virginia: Hello,

I enjoy using Facebook as a way to keep in touch with old friends and organize events, but recently I saw that people were leaving condolence messages on a friend's page because his mother had died. I will be sending my friend a card instead.

I guess I shouldn't be shocked that we're at the point where people would leave such an important message on a person's public Facebook page. Do you agree that it's an inappropriate forum to express condolences over something like a parent's death?

Emily Yoffe: The book on Facebook etiquette is still being written. I agree, there are things that seem completely inappropriate to communicate electronically now -- but not so long ago it would have been considered rude to send an invitation via email instead of snail mail. It's certainly right to mail a condolence letter. But I can imagine there might be benefits to people posting notes of condolences and memories of the departed on someone's Facebook page. It can become like a virtual memorial service -- with people responding to stories and adding to them. This could end up being one of the pluses of Facebook.

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Goalless Boyfriend: I really think it is okay for the boyfriend not to have career goals, but it sounds like he's no house husband either. Why can't Wisconsin just ask him how he sees their future? If she is the primary breadwinner, does he realize he'll have to do more around the house than just pick up after himself? Can he see himself as a stay-at-home dad, and is he willing to work on the skills that would make him a good one? Finally, is he really content for his girlfriend to work all day then come home and take care of him all night? What has he done for her lately?

Emily Yoffe: They need to do a lot of things: Figure out their duties around the house, and duties to their goals as a couple. It sounds to me as if they prematurely fell into a pseudo-marriage without really examining what they want out of life. Here's the first bump, and now she's realizing Mr. Laidback, feels more like Mr. Freeloader.

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Knoxville, Tenn.: Dear Prudence,

My wonderful fiance and I are getting married this August. The problem is my mother and I disagree about everything for the wedding including colors, food, alcohol, and having bridesmaids! We are both contributing financially as well as my future in-laws so she doesn't hold the purse strings. I just want this to be a happy time and not stressful. Should I give in to her to make her happy at the expense of having my wedding nothing like I wanted? I have tried to give her choices that I do not care about, but she is determined to choose everything down to making my brothers girlfriend my MOH (I don't even like her!)

Signed, Green is not so bad!

Emily Yoffe: Did your mother not get her way at her own wedding, and she has been finally waiting all these decades to organize the wedding she always wanted? This isn't her wedding, so she doesn't get to dictate. She really doesn't get to decide if she doesn't have a financial stake in it. You might consider scaling back your nuptials to something you can pay for yourself. Whatever you do, you have to disengage (but not get unengaged from your fiance!). Simply tell her over and over in a calm, cool way that you hear what she has to say, but you have made another decision, i.e: "I understand that you don't like green, Mom, but I do, so let's move on."

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Workplace affair bystanders: Hi Prudence, I work in a small office where the CEO has recently left his wife for one of my young female coworkers. Their relationship has been less than discreet in the office and mainly manifests itself in the favoritism shown in giving assignments. The other coworkers (all also young females of equal experience) and I consistently are given twice as much work than the girlfriend and expected to adhere to tighter deadlines, more scrutiny, etc. I realize this is not a new scenario, but what can we do to stay sane and get a fair shake?

Signed, the rest of us not sleeping with the boss

Emily Yoffe: There's not much you can, do, is there? For one thing, it's not actually that everyone else has been given a double work-load. It sounds as if all the rest of you have certain duties and expectations, but her duties and expectations are being discharged in a setting other than the office. So you've got one person there who is getting special treatment, which is maddening, but ignorable. Unless you want to start looking for another job, there's not much to do except do your work and make sure your gossiping doesn't get overheard.

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Facebook condolences: Would you view this differently if the Facebook messagers also sent a paper card? In other words, is it an issue of the thoughtfulness of the medium, or one of privacy?