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Dormitory Drug WarDear Prudence elaborates on the college tattletale and tackles other reader quandaries.

Posted Monday, April 13, 2009, at 3:40 PM ET

P.S. I may be biased because at this point every single couple in my entire extended family save one has experienced at least one lay off this year, and for most everyone finding a new job has been harder than it ever has been in the past.

Emily Yoffe: Isn't this point at which someone needs to say to the letter writer with the overbearing boss, "But you're lucky to have a job"!

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re: California (vacation time): What's sadder: that the letter writer's own mother makes her feel like a "bad daughter" even when she's constantly trying to please her ... or that the LW seems to think that "getting married and acquiring in-laws" would naturally mean nothing less than "giving up your own vacations?"

We need billboards in all corners of the U.S. that mimic the "Got Milk?" ad campaigns: "Boundaries. Get some."

Emily Yoffe: That seems to be a theme today, and you're right. As long as you try to appease a mother who throws a fit or guilt-trips whenever you visit any other relative, or, horrors!, take a real vacation, you are only abetting her behavior. She's not going to change voluntarily, but you can. And if you change your responses to her, she might learn to tone it down in response.

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Arlington, Va.: Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend of nine months is debating moving back to the West Coast this fall for work and to be closer to his family. A future, that for many reasons, would not include me. Would you end the relationship now rather than be strung along for the next few months or wait it out, fully expecting that he will in fact make the move. For what it's worth—I really adore him and would/will miss him terribly.

Emily Yoffe: It sounds as if there is a serious communication problem here. You two need to figure out together what you want and where your relationship stands. But if he's telling you he's thinking of moving back to the West Coast, and by the way, that will mean the relationship is kaput, but if he stays, well, maybe he'll continue to see you—you're in a rather one-sided relationship.

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Washington, D.C.: Hey Prudie,

Love your column, the best part of Slate! I have a fairly non-problem sounding problem, but I need your advice. My fiance and I are getting married this summer, and are lucky enough to really get along wonderfully with each other families. The problem? My future mother-in-law is so doting that she is constantly showering us with gifts. For instance: at a recent shower, she brought 8 presents. I realize this sounds kind, but it makes others feel uncomfortable (like my mom), me feel smothered and it's something I'd like to prevent in the future. Thoughts?

Emily Yoffe: Thanks. This one should really be fielded by your fiance—it's his mother. And you're right, just as anyone with a job should feel lucky, anyone with a generous mother-in-law should feel lucky. But I understand that her behavior is making you uncomfortable. Your fiance should tell her that while you both appreciate her excitement and generosity, you're getting overwhelmed by it. Maybe he could gently discuss with her that to celebrate your marriage, you two would prefer her buying you an X—one big thing that you really need for the home. But, again, do this gently—dictating how other people spend there money is fraught with peril.

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Washington D.C.'s Boss: Hey, get back to work! Now!

Emily Yoffe: Okay!

Thanks everyone for your interesting letters. Talk to you next week.