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Dear Prudence, LiveIntroducing a weekly chat with Slate's advice columnist.

Posted Monday, March 16, 2009, at 3:20 PM ET

(Continued from page 3)

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To the mother taking her kids to coffee shops to roam around: Seriously? This is how your kids want to spend their day? : So once you have kids you're barred from ever entering a coffee shop again? Dear old or young miserable people: take a deep breath, count to ten, relax. If you want absolute silence while drinking your coffee go home. Or buy earplugs. I could understand if the kids were screaming and running around, that is just common courtesy to buy the coffee and get the kids out of there. But if they are just hanging around for a half hour or so what is the big deal?

Emily Yoffe: Here's another perspective. Look up from all the bad news in your Washington Post and enjoy the fact that there are adorable 2 year-olds who find the world fun and entertaining and aren't asking for a billion dollar bailout.

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Dear Prudence: My father has been estranged from my family for the past 5 years or so. Basically, we believe he has a mental illness that he combined with alcoholism, which resulted in him quitting his job as an executive and eventually moving in with his parents, with whom he has lived for the past four and a half years. He refuses to look for another job and has not contributed any child support for my minor sibling since 2003.

This is the issue: my siblings deny him any access into their lives because of their own anger towards him (and his tendency to become abusive and angry when he feels his overtures have been rebuffed), but I allow a modicum of access on a social networking site—mainly so he is able to see pictures of my child, whom he has never met. I recently received a message from him regarding the birth of my second child, due this summer. I came down with a serious, life-threatening condition during labor with my first, and his message stated that given the chance I could get it again, he WILL be present at the birth of this baby, even if he has to be hidden somewhere.

Prudie, he yelled at me after my first child was born because I didn't call to tell him I was in labor (yes, this was AFTER mentioning the life-threatening condition). I don't want him there for this one. Part of my goal has been to have as little stress as possible to increase the chances of a safe labor and delivery, and the idea of him being there, his presence stressing everyone out, and most likely causing some serious rifts makes me tense already. I know it is up to me and my spouse, and I think both of us are agreed we'd prefer he not be there.

My problem is that I don't know how to tell him. I am sure even if I agonize over my words and make it as gentle as possible that he will still blow up and I will be hurt by what he says. I am approaching the time deadline where he normally writes "I guess you've decided you don't want to talk to me," so I need a response soon. Please help. Thanks.

Emily Yoffe: It sounds as if you've been handling the amount of contact with him that makes you comfortable very well. You just need to continue to be firm, direct, and polite. Just tell him something like, "Dad, we will let you know as soon as the baby comes and send you photos. But it's important to me that just my husband is there for the delivery, so I'm sorry we won't be able to accommodate having you there." Then don't let him know what hospital you will be at.

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DC: Can I look grumpily at my own kids while reading the paper?

Emily Yoffe: As long as they're allowed to look grumpily back at you.

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for College Park, Md.: For dealing with irritating coworkers, I've dealt with it in the past by choosing my biggest pet peeve—popping chewing gum—and then have a short non-confrontational conversation with the offenders. Along the lines of hey, you may not be aware that you are chewing your gum really loudly, could you be a little quieter? It works like a charm everytime mostly because the offenders are embarrassed about it, but admittedly I'm not complaining about everything.

Emily Yoffe: Excellent advice. The keys here are "short" "non-confrontational." So often people sit in their cubicle and seethe at the offender and then blow up—which is the first the offender has even heard of it.

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Washington, DC: For the wife whose husband says her daughter has "accepted a boyfriend who's 'beneath' her": Perhaps you should cheerfully inform him that, yes, such behavior is a hereditary trait among the women in your family, and isn't he lucky.

Then, while he's puzzling that over, take your daughter out to lunch and enjoy her company.

Emily Yoffe: Touche!

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Emily Yoffe: Thanks everyone for such a great range of provocative questions. Talk to you next week!