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Dear Prudence, LiveIntroducing a weekly chat with Slate's advice columnist.

Posted Monday, March 16, 2009, at 3:20 PM ET

(Continued from page 1)

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Sanford, N.C.: I am a 14 year old girl in the 9th grade. I'm very mature for my age and have been talking to a 16-year-old boy for about 6 months. I guess he's my boyfriend. We have been out together and we talk all day long. The problem is my mom. She is really against it. She doesn't even know him and she's always telling me how she doesn't approve. She hasn't ever really talked to him so she doesn't really know him. We haven't been able to hang out for about a month because she doesn't want to take me anywhere he that will be. It's hard because I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and then he dumped me for another girl ten months later. This boy has helped me through it and I really care about him. I haven't even told my mom he's my boyfriend yet. I'm afraid if I do she will be even worse. I am ok now and I think I should be able to see this boy. He is nothing but nice and I really, really like him. How do I convince her to let me see him?

Emily Yoffe: Have you come to the wrong place! I'm the mother of a 13 year old girl and I'm with your mom that while I may understand that everything in human evolution is pushing you to want to spend all your time with your "boyfriend," everything in human evolution is pushing your mother to say, "No way." You mention that you have already had and "emotionally abusive relationship." That's a screaming alarm for any mother, and yours is right to want you to concentrate on school, your activities, and friendships before you embark on another consuming relationship. Maybe, if you show how mature you are by concentrating on those things, your mother at some point will relent and let your 16 year old come over for supervised milk and cookies one afternoon. But by then, he may have drifted off—as 16 year old boys are prone to do.

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Puh-leeze: To the mother taking her kids to coffee shops to roam around: Seriously? This is how your kids want to spend their day? And you don't think that a small child "roaming around" (implying that they are out of your reach) would concern people at a places where hot beverages are placed on small, tipsy tables in cramped spaces? Tables that are generally just about eye-level for a kid? Sure, maybe your kid never bumps into anything, but most kids do, routinely. Which is probably why your fellow patrons are a bit concerned.

If an old man came to Gymboree and took a nap in the bounce house, he wouldn't be "bothering" anyone in as much of the same way your kid isn't "bothering" anyone. But I bet you'd still wonder why he felt the need to spend his time in a place that obviously was not designed with him in mind.

Emily Yoffe: Okay, you make a good point. Just make sure you are reading the Washington Post when you shoot a grumpy look at those toddlers.

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Arlington, Va.: Dear Prudence (btw - love the song),

My mom has been particularly cantankerous lately. She practically speaks in zingers that really sting. I left yesterday (she's 300 miles away) feeling like I don't want to be back for a long time.

She and I have never had a fab relationship—my teenage years were quite difficult on both of us, but we've matured and since my son arrived, have talked almost everyday. So I'm a bit stung, and hurt.

Do I confront her? Do I get tougher skin? Do I chalk it up to menopause?

Thanks

Emily Yoffe: You don't confront her, but you do talk to her. It's taken you a long time to rebuild a decent relationship, so don't let it suffer through simmering resentment. When you talk to her next just tell her that you felt stung by some of her comments. Say you're sure she didn't mean to be so harsh, but her opinion of you matters, and you felt hurt. You can also ask if something else is going on that's upsetting her in general. So don't escalate this, but don't be left to stew.

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Nosy Parker: How nosy can you be around your neighbors? When their house is up for sale, can you poke around during the open house? Can you open closets? The last time an ambulance stopped in my street, I ran out to see who it was for, and was chided for being a "looky lou."

Emily Yoffe: You mean I have to stop going to open houses in the neighborhood? That's my only hobby! Since you are not there to buy, however, it's one thing to get a look at how the kitchen is laid out, it's another to look in the medicine cabinet and open the dresser.

As for an ambulance, it's only natural to want to know if a neighbor has fallen ill (and perhaps see how you can help if something dire has happened), it's another thing to run out and stare raptly as the EMTs strap someone to a gurney.
It sounds like you may be crossing that delicate line.

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New York, Fla.: I recently learned a friend of mine, quite close indeed, runs an escort service and employs dozens of girls that provide sexual services to clients. My issue is that she is quite close to me and my kids. We usually talk every day and see each other often but I feel I cannot cope with this aspect of her life and want to cut off contact. Should I tell her I know?

Emily Yoffe: What has your friend told you she does all these years—run a very specialized temp service? This person is a close friend, and I don't see how you just cut off contact without saying anything, and at the very least confirming with her this information is true. Just be honest, and tell her what you've found out. If she denies it, you can tell her why you think your information is reliable. If she confirms the information (or you come away believing it) then you should discuss with her that you are worried about her being involved in activities that are both illegal and morally questionable (to say the least). You owe her and the friendship that much before you decide you want her out of your life.

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College Park, Md.: Things get on my nerves very easily, e.g. a loud co-worker who speaks in a high-pitched voice; co-workers popping chewing gum all day long. Any suggestions on how I can better cope with annoying co-workers, when I suspect the real problem may be that I have a low tolerance for irritation?