Questions for a Superhuman MomThe complicated business of judging Sarah Palin.
Posted Tuesday, Sept. 2, 2008, at 5:44 PM ET
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StumbleUponBut what about Sarah Palin's choices for herself? Can we presume to judge anything about her candidacy from her decisions as a mother? And if we cannot, what are we left to judge her on, given her thin policy record? Palin has been governor for only 20 months. But she's been a mom for decades, and the McCain campaign seems to want us to use that experience as a proxy for her professional leadership. That's why she introduced herself as a hockey mom and painstakingly named all of her family members. And that's why selling her amazing personal story has become the McCain campaign's main pitch for her. The idea seems to be that if Sarah Palin is Martha Stewart, Mary Poppins, and Mother Teresa all rolled into one, who cares if she has views on the dangerousness of Iran? Today came a McCain press release trumpeting a Wall Street Journal op-ed headline: "Ignore the Chauvinists. Palin Has Real Experience." It makes claims about Palin's energy expertise, her corruption-fighting, and her stance on conservation. But even taken on its face, it's pretty slim reading.
Which brings us back to Sarah Palin the Super Mom. The woman who evidently believes that having it all means doing it all and who seems to see asking for help—be it child care or maternity leave—as weakness.
We don't begrudge Sarah Palin her decision to run for vice president, or her decision to have a baby with Down syndrome, or even the act of doing both at the same time. Under most circumstances, that kind of ceiling-cracking would have us burning our nursing bras in solidarity. But oh how we wish we didn't have to hear about her pulling off all these feats without household help—and without, or so she's determined to make it appear, breaking a sweat or gaining a pound. Most of us mommies wish we could tote our kids to the office and work uninterrupted as they macramé quietly in their Pack-'n'-Plays. It never worked for us, though. Does this woman sleep? Do conservative feminists really have to be the kind of larger-than-life working mothers who make every pro-family policy or job-based concession the rest of us require, and have finally demanded, seem like self-indulgence?
Think of the family-friendly policies Palin's example would seem to brush aside. No need for child care subsidies or universal preschool if a mother of five can run the state without a babysitter. Who really needs family leave laws that protect women's jobs if a governor can go back to work a few days after giving birth? And no need, it would seem, for employers to make any kind of concession to the complications that working parents bring with them to the workplace. Feminism, to the GOP, appears to mean never having to say you're exhausted.
This brings us to the pregnancy of Bristol Palin. We want to reiterate that this shouldn't be used to bludgeon Palin. Accidents happen. But is it passing judgment to observe that for most mothers, a pregnant teenager is a sign of parenting gone awry? Is it unfair to wonder whether Sarah Palin has the right to haul her beautiful children into the spotlight when it makes her look like a Super Mom, then sweep them into the shadows when they make a mistake?
The Sarah Palin candidacy could have been a moment for women to celebrate, in glass-ceiling terms if not policy advances. But it never should have stood for the notion that the only way a woman is going to make it to the White House is if she's the best mom in America first.
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Notes from the Fray Editor
Some great comments and arguments here, and (comparatively speaking) not too mired in party politics. Brownapril's post, "the complicated business of NOT judging Sarah Palin", is here, and there's a long discussion of the care of special needs children here (with a taster below). Should we judge? "Hell yes" says sfifeadams, and explains why here. Xaedalus had this to say "I think [Palin] will put to rest once and for all the idea that we are a misogynistic nation. Rather, she will show that the people who hate Hillary, just plain hate Hillary and not the XX."
Comments from the Fray
Based on the comments from some Alaskans on other threads, it's sounds like [Palin] coped with it in Alaska by re-locating the capitol from Juneau. That won't be an option. OTOH, if she is limits her role to a "you die, I fly" vice presidency, she could handle a lot between funerals. There is no way she would be able to do a veep role like Cheney, or Gore, which means that this will cause the a diminution of office (which could be a good idea given where it's gone recently) but do we want the first female veep remembered for making that job a "mommy track" position?
--elementary teacher
(To reply, click here)
No Juno in Juneau: Why does nobody seem to get the point that for an adolescent mistake 17-year-old Bristol Palin is about to pay with her youth in what looks suspiciously like a shotgun marriage to make an honest woman of her?
—voiceover
(To reply, click here)
I'd get fired if I breastfed in meetings, in front of my colleagues. They would call it disruptive. She's getting accommodations most of us don't. She doesn't have to have babysitters if she can care for the baby at work. Most of us do NOT have that option.
She was a stay at home mother for the young childhood of the others. That's not exactly unusual. How is that "doing it all"? Most of us call it sequencing--stay at home when they are small, then go back to work. Seems like her balance problem is coming at her, not behind her. I want to see her take care of a 16 month old while at work. Trust me, in approximately 4 months, she'll have a sitter or daycare if her husband can't do it. If he can, how is she different from men with stay at home wives? Again, how is she this supermom this article tries to portray?
--Domini
(To reply, click here)
First, I think all need to be very, very careful in leveling the "bad mother" charge at Governor Palin. While it's pretty infuriating to see the right rally around a working mother of five when it's one of their own, after years of criticizing others for making similar choices, this is a no-win argument. The internal workings of a family are always unknowable to those on the outside. We simply don't have enough information to make any judgments. More important, critics of Palin's choices are vulnerable to a charge of hypocrisy that weakens their legitimate criticisms and feeds the right's sense of grievance about the media.
On the other hand, I just heard that the father of Bristol Palin's baby will be at the Republican Convention tomorrow night for Sarah Palin's speech. Isn't this inconsistent with the family's pleas for privacy? It seems to me that the Palins can't simultaneously demand privacy and put the young unly-weds on display. And it would not surprise me if the Republican delegates give them a standing ovation.
--Spenmore
(To reply, click here)
(9/3)