Sapped OutSlate's Sap-o-Meter team takes readers' questions about NBC's schmaltzy Olympics coverage.

(Continued from page 2)

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Chicago: If the US Women Soccer goalkeeper says anything except "I told you so (insert expletive that shouldn't be used in a family newspaper)" for beating Brazil after being benched last time the teams faced each other, she would get a sap point.

Derek Thompson: I think expletives and sap might be on opposite ends of a spectrum. Maybe she deserves an honorable mention for "most expletive-ridden comeback"

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Prince Frederick, Md.: I was looking forward to synchronized swimming at the Olympics—it's the only time it's shown on TV. It was so frustrating to try and enjoy the performances to music when the two commentators talked constantly through the routines. The Washington Post has an article Wednesday about a new and innovative group routine the U.S. would be performing—the coach expects a standing ovation etc. from the crowd. I only can hope that we at home are allowed to see and hear it. Please, commentators, shut up!

washingtonpost.com: In the Pool, a Thing of Beauty (Post, Aug. 20)

Chris Wilson: I'm with you. Of all the ways that NBC could drain some of the sap out of its coverage, the simplest is just to talk less.

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West Texas, Texas: This is sort of a tree-fall-in-the-forest question: If Michael Phelps didn't have a heartwarming backstory, would he really exist? Or would NBC show us (even) more beach volleyball? Thanks in advance.

Derek Thompson: Dear Existential in Texas,
Great question. I'd say Michael Phelps has got to be one of the most physically gifted, hard-working, clutch and LUCKY (did Milorad Cavic just stop kicking?) athletes in recent Olympic history. So NBC was going to slobber all over that story no matter what.

Actually I think his back story is interesting, but it's still not heartwarming on a Misty May/Nastia Liukin level. Of course he does have Debbie Phelps, who grabbed so much screen time I wouldn't be surprised to see the show "Debbie!" debut on NBC this fall...

washingtonpost.com: NBC Pins Its Hopes on Phelps and His Olympics Cohorts, and They Deliver—Big Time

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New York, NY: Which event has been least sap-inducing? I suspect the Sap-o-Meter needle didn't move at all during the women's trampoline final.

Josh Levin: On account of societal attitudes toward women, any event with female athletes is bound to generate more sap than the parallel male event. So, I'd guess that men's trampoline was less sappy, unless one of the competitors had an artificial leg or a parent with a fatal disease. It's hard to account for those factors.

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For Mama: When our family group is watching the Oly's, whenever the Mom is shown on the screen we all yell out in unison "There's Mama!" in our best down home accents.

Derek Thompson: Great to see you're playing along! Mom is indeed a great barometer of sap. This Slate feature could probably run on just mothers—the Mom-o-Meter would provide just as accurate a portrayal of the varying levels of sentimentality.

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Helena Mont.: John Tesh throws the sap meter through the roof with his sappy fluff statement, "Little girls dancing for Gold." Trautwig just bumbles, Tesh is the king of sap.

Derek Thompson: Remember when Trautwig pulled out this gem? "And now begins Shawn Johnson's dream sequence. She looks like a kid on the best of Christmas mornings." You can't make that stuff up. That's just raw talent.

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Anonymous: Oh I get it you guys are being snarky. That's really unfair because many of these commentators come from humble beginnings and they have overcome many obstacles to be where they are today.

Chris Wilson: We can sympathize. Developing the Sap-o-Meter has been a dream of ours for years—and the journey wasn't easy. But through dedication, determination, and a truly Olympic-sized effort, we were able to overcome the challenges. I'd like to thank my mom.

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North McLean, Va.: Back in the Jim McKay era, (Golden Age of Olympic Sap) I used to believe that having an Inspiring Personal Story was a prerequisite for becoming an Olympian. They would exaggerate hardships without mercy. Although I think things are more nuanced now, I wonder which hardship story you think has been most over-hyped?

Derek Thompson: Oh Jim McKay was a legend, I agree. Some of those profiles are on YouTube and they're enough to melt even the hardest of hearts. I agree that they don't say absolutely unforgivable stuff like "now watch Nastia float through the air like an angel on the wings of a dream." They've toned that down. But they still use the words dream and magic as though there is NO OTHER WAY to talk about the Olympics, which still boggles my mind.

In terms of what story has been most over-hyped, I think you would have hide in a bunker to get away from the Nastia Liukin/father story line. NBC ate that up.

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Takoma Park, Md.: Until reading this, I have been an Olympic-sized un-American Olympics avoider. I will now be tuning in...

But, has NBC convered the Rohullah Nikpai storyline? It seems to warrant bona fide sappiness.

Derek Thompson: That Afghanistan story is remarkable. But I think NBC wants to keep politics as far away from the Olympics as possible. Once you get into stories that necessarily mention U.S. military interventions, viewers are taken out of the Sappy-sphere and thrust back into the real world of geopolitics.

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Derek Thompson: That's all for today. I want to thank my colleagues Chris and Josh for their Olympic-sized dedication to this chat. And thank you all for your heartwarming questions. We know you sacrificed everything to be here with us.

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