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The Poetry of Roger ClemensThe Rocket's collected works.

By Hart SeelyPosted Friday, Feb. 15, 2008, at 3:37 PM ET

Roger ClemensOn Wednesday, baseball great Roger Clemens stood before the U.S. Congress, seeking to defend his honor and his soul. History will decide whether Clemens told the truth in denying a former trainer's claim that he had used performance-enhancing drugs.

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But one point is clear: In his testimony and depositions, the Rocket has hurled a poetic masterpiece, with a repertoire that ranges from free-form verse to haiku. The poems that follow are the pitcher's exact words, excerpted from transcripts of Wednesday's testimony (PDF) and the deposition (PDF) the pitcher gave to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform earlier this month.

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Josh Levin described the scene at the Clemens hearing, Stephen Metcalf explained the parallels between Clemens and the Bush administration, and Douglas McCollam parsed the meaning of "it is what it is." Josh Levin filed dispatches from 2005's McGwire-Sosa-Palmeiro steroids hearing as well as last month's hearing starring Bud Selig, Donald Fehr, and George Mitchell. Seth Stevenson explained, in great detail, why he hates Roger Clemens. Juliet Lapidos explains why Clemens would take a B-12 shot. On the day of its release, Slate writers and editors dissected the Mitchell report. Check out the "Steroids Social Network" to see how the players in the Mitchell report are connected. And you can read all of Slate's coverage of drugs and sports here.

"Saving the House"

It was a sports court.
I enclosed that into a gym.
Best investment ever, by the way.
It's saved the house from the kids.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Offensive Haiku"

I am offended.
I will be honest with you.
I am offended.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Ghost Andy"

He looked at me,
Wringing his hands,
White as a ghost

And asked me
What are you going
To tell them?

And I told him
I'm going out there
To tell the truth.

—Feb. 13, 2008, hearing

"Stop Sign"

In Boston, I know I was on prednisone.
I remember that because actually
I came here to visit the White House
When the president was in,
And my head looked like a stop sign.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Somebody's Tried To Break My Spirit in This Room"

Somebody's tried to break my spirit in this room.
They're not going to break my spirit.
I'm going to continue to go out
And do the things that I love to do,
And try and be honest and genuine
To every person I can be.
It's the way I was brought up.
It's what I know.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Glute"

I have strained my glute
On a couple occasions.
I wish I could tell you
How many occasions.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Me"

I have never smoked a cigarette.
I have never smoked dope.
I have never done cocaine.
I would not put anything—
Allow anybody to put anything—
In my body
That's going to be harmful to me.
That's who I am.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Headaches"

Kids come to my house and work out.
I invite them to come work out.
The littler kids,
I try to get them to sign a waiver
In case a bat comes out of my hand, or a ball.
We've experienced that.
That's headaches.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

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