television
columns
- Land of the Freak
What America's Got Talent says about America.
Troy Patterson
posted July 15, 2008 - Band of Lunkheads
The aggro Marines of Generation Kill.
Troy Patterson
posted July 11, 2008 - Movie Love
Elvis Mitchell's swinging interview show, Under the Influence.
Troy Patterson
posted July 7, 2008 - Summer TV
Celebrity Circus, Celebrity Family Feud, Wipeout, Monkids—the mind reels …
Troy Patterson
posted July 2, 2008 - The Apprentice
My day at reality-TV school.
Troy Patterson
posted June 27, 2008 - Search for more television articles
- Subscribe to the television RSS feed
- View our complete television archive
The Candidates, Off GuardWhere to find the best campaign coverage on TV.
By Troy PattersonPosted Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, at 5:40 PM ET
One Sunday night last September, I spent an hour mesmerized by the sight of Mitt Romney doing very dull things in New Hampshire. The spell was conjured by "Campaign 2008"—C-SPAN's catchall rubric for a stream of election coverage that captures the American political process as does nothing else. The channel's eye is ideally Warholian in its insatiable appetite and peerlessly democratic in its lack of discrimination. Its ear rings with every last hope and frustration of the electorate, with the canned pitches and unguarded pleas of candidates, and, during call-in segments, a panoply of nut-bag ravings. Its tone can be so dry that you might feel a need to spread mayonnaise on your TV screen. But it can switch, in a blink, into an all-you-can-eat buffet of high absurdity.
That night in September found Romney working the town of Littleton, N.H., at a leisurely pace. There he was in a candy store. "This should be a red state, so I'm only going to get red candy," he vowed, plastic bag in hand, scooping up Swedish fish. "You've got these lids on real tight. Is that to preserve freshness?" His total was $11.52, and when it came time to pay, he reached into the leave-a-penny-take-a-penny cup for the two cents. I wondered whether to read the gesture as a proud statement of fiscal prudence or an unwitting signal that he's apt to support socialist schemes.
Some other C-SPAN fans must be hooked on the channel's broadcasts of stump speeches; such people are driven by a sense of civic duty, perhaps, or a desire to contrive new drinking games. (For instance, those willing to risk acute alcohol poisoning—or, indeed, spontaneous liver failure—might raise a glass every time John Edwards uses the word mill.) But the meat of "Campaign 2008" is in such mundane moments as Romney sidling up to the gummy worms and such baffling displays of personality as Mrs. Romney entertaining the crowd at a New Hampshire retirement home by showing off poster-sized photos of her grandchildren. The real action is to be found on the rope line after a rally, in the small talk of grip-and-grin photo ops, and in the human swarms of what Mark Costello, in the comic novel Big If, called "the food-verb events" of the campaign season—the corn-boils and the weiner-roasts, Tom Harkin's annual steak-fry.
These events and nonevents and glimpses of retail politicking offer endless microrevelations about the psychological bonds between the candidates and the constituents. You see Ron Paul signing autographs after a breakfast in Bedford, N.H., and marvel at his serenity. You notice, after a Clinton rally at an Iowa fire station, the odd sense of protectiveness that ordinary people feel for Chelsea. With some apprehension, you watch Bill Richardson shake hands with a woman who won't stop shaking hands with him, and then you wonder exactly how much Purell these people go through in an average day. The voters' eyes shine with various combinations of patient scrutiny, star-struck arousal, and passionate lunacy. If you don't count Michelle Obama—an ace at greeting long-winded nonsense with understanding nods—Richardson is the campaigner most deft at handling ridiculous queries. Last week, after a gentleman explained to him the potential advantages of moving the United Nations to Puerto Rico, he emitted, chipperly, "Good point!"
feedback | about us | help | advertise | newsletters | mobile
User Agreement and Privacy Policy | All rights reserved
- Today's Headlines
Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:00:27 -0400- Queen Elizabeth II Announces She's Pregnant Again
Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0400 - Ebert and Roeper Leaving 'Ebert and Roeper'
Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:00:21 -0400 - » More from the Onion
A Grand TourDavid Broder | While the stars align for Obama, McCain is looking like the odd-man-out on foreign policy.
Annette Heuser: A Honeymoon
- David Ignatius: Middle East Peace for Dummies
- Robert Novak: Scandal at the Pentagon
- Dana Milbank: Sorry We Asked, Sorry You Told
- Jamie Barnett: Defending Our Values
- Today's Headlines
- Can Mugabe Survive Zimbabwe’s New Political Order?
Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:31:17 GMT - How the Pine Beetle is Destroying Colorado Forests
Tue, 22 Jul 2008 20:20:17 GMT - Obama in the Middle East: No Easy Questions
Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:15:44 GMT - » More from Newsweek
- Today's Headlines
- When Thugs Cry
Wed, 16 July 2008 18:25:58 GMT - Black in America, Now What?
Tue, 22 July 2008 14:45:43 GMT - Gen Y and the Colorblind Lie
Tue, 8 July 2008 18:14:03 GMT - » More from The Root

television









