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What Are Friends For?Reihan Salam takes readers' questions about Facebook etiquette and managing your buddies.

Posted Thursday, Sept. 27, 2007, at 1:53 PM ET

Slate contributor Reihan Salam was online at Washingtonpost.com on Thursday, Sept. 27, to discuss Facebook etiquette and the social-networking phenomenon. An unedited transcript of the chat follows.

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Reihan Salam: I have, and I think this is the kind of thing that will change over time: MySpace has been around longer, so you have early-adopters and late-adopters. Facebook's demographic is changing too: first it was the preserve of kids who attended residential colleges and universities, already a relatively highbrow slice of the population. Soon, that'll (probably) no longer be the case.

Though it is possible that aesthetic/design differences between the sites will lead to a more persistent difference.

I will say that I'm a little skeptical about the idea that this snapshot (a temporary class difference in this case) is a serious problem: the digital divide between different ethnic groups in the US has by some measures closed (the overwhelming majority of US homes have a computer now, and a huge and growing number have Internet access), but whites and Asians are more likely to have multiple computers than other groups. This is mostly a class divide. And this divide will also close over time.

We're talking about moving targets, for the most part.

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Flemington, N.J.: Your article really hit the nail on the head ... great topic! Facebook has proven to be amazing for me because I moved around a lot between elementary school, middle school and high school ... so it has given me a convenient way to connect with people. My only complaint is that I've come across a lot of people who are very conscious of social boundaries in person, but totally neglect them on Facebook. And! Regarding relationship status, I've noticed that a lot of Friendster users have converted to Facebook and use it as an online dating site. In an interview, Mark Zuckerberg specifically stated that Facebook a platform that mimicks your real life relationships ... but in light of sites like Friendster and MySpace, many users seem to be leaning towards randomly friending/poking/messaging others in a way that's more of a online dating site. Have you noticed a similar trend?

Reihan Salam: Well, I think Facebook is a lot less of an online dating site because it's tougher to view profiles of strangers, and I tend to think this is a good thing. I try to put myself in the shoes of a woman, and I wonder: do I really want a bunch of random messages? But that's just me.

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Chantilly, Va.: Are there any legal precedents yet for people who have been denied jobs or fired because of something that appears on Facebook? Many of those people who seem to make the news when this happens always seem to say, "but my Facebook is private." It really isn't—just by the very nature of it. But it would be interesting to know what, if anything, ever happens in court.

Reihan Salam: Oh, it definitely does happen. And my rough sense (this is still evolving) is that information you post on Facebook really can get you fired. But in truth I need to study this a bit more—for example, I certainly hope you can't get fired because your employer discovers that your family is from Tibet via Facebook. That is and ought to be illegal regardless of how the information is "discovered."

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Tempe, Ariz.: Good morning! Very interesting article. I'm a recent college grad and a major, major Facebook junkie. I've found that I have very puritanical rules about friending, and those rules are: Only friend people you are actually friends with. Okay, so I only have one rule. But I'm very serious about it. Atlanta's description of randomly friending people s/he finds attractive just horrifies me to my very core. That's a MySpace attitude. On Facebook, you're supposed to be more real, and that's reinforced by the Mini-Feed. I love the Mini-Feed because I can see what my friends are up to, and it would be totally useless to me if it were giving me news about people I don't know. Having said that—Reihan, have you tried the Scrabulous app? If so, we should play sometime. It is the best ever. Thanks!

Reihan Salam: I tend to agree with you.

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Athens, Ga.: I found your article just the right combination of funny and thoughtful. As a transitioning 24-year-old with nearly 300 "friends" I felt pleased that we had similar perspectives on the benefits and downsides. We probably could be friends. Find me on Facebook! (Just kidding.)

Reihan Salam: Maybe I will!

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Sweden: Hello Salam—your article about Facebook is really good. Like you, even I have been using Facebook, and also Orkut, another Social networking site. I am lucky in a sense that I got to make some real good friends in Orkut—it's just like penpal friendship of olden times. If one gets to meet some good friends on such social networking sites, is that harmful?

Reihan Salam: Not at all—I've done the same thing.

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Reihan Salam: Thanks so much for submitting questions, everyone. And thanks to the good people at washingtonpost.com for giving me a soapbox. I had a wonderful time.