Slate's Bizbox
low concept: Dubious and far-fetched ideas.

Noon: Lunch With Noam ChomskyThe original requested U.S. travel itinerary for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

By Hart Seely
Posted Monday, Sept. 24, 2007, at 4:57 PM ET
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Click image to expand.

8 a.m.: Arrival in New York City. Meet with Gov. Spitzer.

10 a.m.: Tour site of former World Trade Center. Lay wreath to honor dead infidels.

11 a.m.: Drop off weapon of mass destruction at local al-Qaida affiliate.

Noon: To protest barbaric U.S. exploitation of women, dine at Hooters, accompanied by writer Noam Chomsky.

1 p.m.: Tour Midwestern town of Smallville. Visit meteor site where alien boy is said to possess superpowers.

2 p.m.: Meet with political prisoner O.J. Simpson. Exchange autographed sabers.

3 p.m.: Tour U.S. Northeastern Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) headquarters. Using trickery, steal secret access codes.

4 p.m.: Phone call to actress Sally Field for last-minute tips on U.N. speech.

5 p.m.: Meet with top Republican and Democratic presidential hopefuls to determine which candidates shall receive coveted Iranian endorsement.

6 p.m.: Tape interview with popular syndicated TV-show host Ali G.

7 p.m.: To protest barbaric U.S. treatment of animals, dine with animal rights activist Pamela Anderson, accompanied by writer Noam Chomsky.

8 p.m.: Receive from grateful U.S. government gift of 52 new hostages to symbolize nation's newfound respect and admiration.

9 p.m.: Farewell address to jubilant Times Square throngs. Speak from platform, which is to be magically levitated by Criss Angel, MindFreak.

10 p.m.: Depart New York City. Stay overnight in Paris Hilton, accompanied by writer Noam Chomsky.

Print This ArticlePRINTDiscuss this in The FrayDISCUSSEmail to a FriendE-MAIL
Share on FacebookPost to MySpace!Share with MixxDigg ThisShare with RedditShare with del.icio.usShare with FurlShare with Ma.gnolia.comShare with SphereShare with Stumble Upon
Photograph of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad by Spencer Platt/AFP/Getty Images.
Join the Fray: our reader discussion forum
What did you think of this article?
POST A MESSAGE | READ MESSAGES
Washington Post
The Washington Post
OPINIONS
Over the Line
Harold Ford Jr. | I know what it's like to be smeared by your opponent.
: The Positive in Negative Ads
PLUS » Milbank: The President's Lullaby