In 2004, Saturday Night Live introduced "Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover," demonstrating, in a time-release video, the pathetic aging of a butt tattoo—and thus putting fear into the hearts of millions who have antlers etched on their backsides.

Two years later, New York Times columnist David Brooks proclaimed that the tattoo was out of fashion. Which proves, mostly, that one should not take fashion cues from middle-aged policy wonks. Might the demise of the backside tattoo craze instead be traced to the "Page Six" revelation that former Secretary of State George Shultz sports a tiger tattoo on his rear end? Sheer speculation.