Ads We HateReaders nominate the worst of the worst.
Posted Monday, Aug. 6, 2007, at 7:15 AM ET
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Have you seen the advertisement for the new chocolate-flavored Altoids that features an explosion—presumably, a symbolic explosion of flavor—in the shape of a mushroom cloud? Of course I'm biased here, having been born and raised in Japan, but I find this advertisement extremely offensive and callous to the millions affected by the bombs dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima in WWII, which I perceive as something akin to genocide, two times over. What do you think? Am I wrong in thinking these ads should be withdrawn?
—K.O.
You don't have to look very far to find ads exploiting various tragedies. Last year's Chevy "This Is Our Country" spot was a twofer, with both 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina references. (By the way, I despised that ad.)
I understand how this Altoids spot could be offensive to some, but personally I don't have a huge problem with it. There's no specificity to the reference. I've actually visited Hiroshima and the Peace Memorial Museum, and I'm a little bit sensitized to the horrors that occurred there. But I've also seen lots of footage of random test detonations (like the ones at the end of Dr. Strangelove), so I don't necessarily connect an image of a mushroom cloud directly to the devastation that afflicted Japan.
Now, if the ad had shown people's eyeballs melting out, and the skin sloughing off their arms as they shrieked in ecstasy at the chocolate-y Altoids flavor ... that might have been offensive.
Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza? Please get this ad off television immediately!! I am so disturbed by the eerie Oreo mustache/beard, and the creepy nodding of the father, and the skeezy family moment.
—G.S.
The previous Ads We Hate mailbag featured multiple bewildered readers begging me to explain Fudgems, the Domino's brownie snack that—in a commercial, at least—hugged people and covered them in brown guck. Now Domino's has assaulted us with another bizarre dessert ad. What gives?
Here I should admit that a short while back, in a moment of weakness (it's a moment of weakness every time I order from Domino's, but this night I was feeling especially weak), I ordered and consumed one of these Oreo pizza desserts. And just as the ad suggests, crumbly bits of Oreo stuck to my face. That viscous lard "cream" cemented tiny chocolate crumbs to my chin and the sides of my mouth. Wiping with a napkin was counterproductive—it just smeared the lard and rubbed it deep into my pores.
Anyway, this whole event was traumatic, and made me briefly reassess my worth as a human. As a result, I'm taking a sabbatical from Ad Report Card. (That's not actually why, but it's a convenient explanation, and I'm going to run with it.) Slate will find someone or someones to ably fill my shoes while I'm gone.
During my time away, 1) I will miss you, and 2) I will be pondering all the wrong turns I've taken in life—the series of bad choices that ultimately resulted in an Oreo pizza adhering to my face. I hope you will also use our time apart to focus inward, and make important changes.
We'll meet again on these pages, down the road a bit—when we'll all be better people, but most ads will still suck. Until then, adieu.
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Remarks from the Fray:
Someone may have already pointed this out, but chances are that the clueless customer service person from Verizon was a chatbot.
A number of companies are using these programs to cut down on customer service overhead (IKEA, for one). The problem is that they don't handle curveballs very well. In your case, they didn't seem to bother with programming in logic for dealing with continents rather than individual countries.
Google Jabberwacky and A.L.I.C.E. to play with a couple of these programs and see what I mean.
--Osden
(To reply, click here.)
I live in Denmark and there's a version here with two teenage girls. There are a lot of ads here that are Danish dubbed over mouths that are clearly speaking English, but I can tell the Clearasil girls aren't speaking English. I think maybe it's German. Which leads me to wonder why Clearasil is shooting its ads in German. Seems an odd choice.
--eliane
(To reply, click here.)
The DiTech commercials for home financing from GMAC about "Lost Another Loan to DiTech!" were painful, but virtually harmless when it came to instigating impotent fury in viewers.
But, the new DiTech commercials have to be the worst - meaning, most sinister, insincere, patently false, and patronizing - ads on TV or anywhere.
"People are Smart, they say." Then they advertise the benefits of Home Equity Lines of Credit – basically encouraging people to borrow against the shrinking equity of their only asset, to pay off car loans.
All set to a jingle.
It makes me nauseous.
--ProblemWithCaring
(To reply, click here.)
Have you seen the BallPark Frank commercial where the boy is in his bed and a gigantic hairy third arm is protruding from his stomach? The gigantis man-arm is tying to put a hot dog in the boys mouth, but the boy is sleeping. The man-arm hits the boy over the head with a tennis racket, the boy wakes up and the man-arm shoves the hot dog in the boy's mouth. It is the freakiest commercial I have ever seen. I thought i was watching a si-fi show at first. I was shocked when I discovered it was an add for BallPark Franks.
--laraino
(To reply, click here.)
(8/6)