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My iPhone Doesn't Work, but I Love It AnywayInside the mind of an Apple obsessive.

By Reihan SalamPosted Monday, July 2, 2007, at 5:19 PM ET

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Tim Wu explained why the iPhone isn't revolutionary. Paul Boutin assessed the iPhone and its competitors. Andy Bowers interviewed Boutin about the iPhone. David Sessions explained how Apple got the iPhone's battery to last longer. Jack Shafer's iPhone suck-up watch blew the whistle on Apple lovers in the media. He had a similar complaint about Apple bootlicking in 2005.

Apple probably didn't intend to release a phone that will make me less technologically accessible than before. The iPhone: the mobile device that forces you to get a landline. OK, I don't really have to get a landline—I could just move to another house. But even though I can't use it to make phone calls, I still love the iPhone. Let me count the ways.

For one thing, I often wear slim-fitting pants. Back when I was carrying my mobile phone, my work-issued BlackBerry, my iPod nano, my wallet, and my keys, I looked like I had many disconcerting growths concentrated around my crotch. The iPhone can't open the door to my house or pay for my burrito bol—yet—but it eliminates the need for a whole panoply of electronic devices. Granted, this is true of any all-in-one mobile solution. But those gizmos didn't have the sleek lines, the seamless Mac OS X-integration, and the massive hard drive of the iPhone.

It must also be said that whenever I'm far away from my house, the iPhone does its job beautifully. Safari works almost exactly as it does on my iMac. Rotating the screen or resizing a page to get a better view is easy and fun. The same goes for reading e-mail. The onscreen keyboard is extremely intelligent—apart from a minor misadventure while trying to spell out Afghanistan, the iPhone got pretty much all of my words right, including Reihan. (To this day, Microsoft Word tells me "Reihan" should be spelled "Reagan." No one loves the Gipper that much.) In part, the keyboard works for me because I have tiny hands. As opposed to the giant-handed David Pogue, I've been using two thumbs from the get-go. I'm probably alone in this, but I find it as easy to type on the iPhone as on my old BlackBerry. That's no small thing.

Then there are the millions of other things I can do with my iPhone. The iPod is intuitive and rad. When I couldn't figure out how to repeat a song, I clicked below the title. Voilà! I can repeat, shuffle, and skip around. Google Maps helped me navigate my way out of a suspiciously leafy neighborhood. While I couldn't find my favorite YouTube video (of rocker Jenny Lewis performing "The Frug," live), I was able to watch some very popular videos and chuckle softly to myself while waiting for a smoothie. The Season 3 finale of Lost looked vastly better on my iPhone than on my video iPod—so good, in fact, that it made one friendly stranger gasp.

Despite my massive AT&T-induced hassle, I'm not about to give up on my iPhone. Yes, I can still return it for another two weeks, and yes, I won't be able to make or take calls when the temperatures fall below zero. But if I become harder to reach, perhaps those closest to me will come to value my friendship more. I'm also confident that, as I told my mother, AT&T Wireless can only get better. Steve Jobs wouldn't play me like that.

Should you buy one? Only if you're absolutely sure you need it. If I didn't have to compulsively check e-mail and listen to music to maintain my tenuous grip on sanity, I'd much rather be one of those shoeless guys who live "off the grid." Also, the iPhone is pretty damn expensive. I don't drive a car and I don't drink, so I figure I can safely splurge. Then there's that whole "phone" thing. Even though this revolutionary device is called "the iPhone," I can't really enthusiastically recommend it as a "phone" per se. Visual voicemail is amazing, sure. But when I think of a "phone," I usually think of a means of communicating with other people who are physically far away through speech. Right now, I'm finding that aspect of the iPhone pretty frustrating.