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human guinea pig: Humiliating myself for fun and profit.

Playing DoctorOh, no! I'm the first patient these 23 medical students have ever examined.

By Emily Yoffe
Posted Wednesday, July 4, 2007, at 8:33 AM ET

Emily Yoffe was online July 5 to chat with readers about this story. Read the transcript.

(Continued from page 2)

An older SP had recently been at George Washington, where she had to portray a sex-crazed senior citizen. Her story was that she had been frustrated during her entire marriage because she wanted sex daily, but her husband would only satisfy her weekly or monthly. When he died, she moved to assisted living, where she cut a swath through the remaining men and ended up with a sexually transmitted disease. She says of the students required to take her history, "They were freaking out with embarrassment."

When I went back to my examining table, I tried to think what my reaction would be to my students if they were real doctors and I was a real patient. In response to most I would have thought, "This is disturbing." A few would have made me wonder whether I was in an episode of Punk'd. But a handful were so ready, so ordained to be physicians, that I simply would have been impressed by my young doctor.

Sometimes I got to see their excitement at playing doctor while I played patient. Dr. S, a future McDreamy with a hand in a cast from a rugby collision, moved in close with the ophthalmoscope to examine the fundus (OK, the interior lining) of my eye. Just as we were almost touching he said, "There it is!" with the same delight a sailor would cry out, "Land ho!" Some tried making doctorly conversation. "Have you ever had a physical before?" one asked. I nodded yes, but wanted to add, "Lately, I get one about every half hour."

Finally, I felt privileged to be there at the beginning and help send these healers on their way. So, to you Drs. A through W (even you, Dr. I), I hope your nerves settle down when you examine your patients' nerves, I hope you never get sued for malpractice, and I hope you make a lot of people better and even save some lives.

Thanks to reader Joseph Orloski for suggesting this assignment.

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Emily Yoffe is the author of What the Dog Did: Tales From a Formerly Reluctant Dog Owner. You can send your Human Guinea Pig suggestions or comments to .
Illustration by Robert Neubecker.
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Remarks from the Fray:

Just reading this column made my blood run cold and my nerves get all shaky.

Ugh. I hate having to go to doctors. I try to avoid the experience as much as possible. If I ever get a dread disease and then hear these wretched words from a doctor: "if only you had come in sooner it might have been possible to save you" I will know I have only myself to blame. I guess.

What makes this column so readable is how concerned and even nervous most of those doctors were toward Emily. I found that to be endearing in the sense that a patient is still a new experience for them and an experience that most of them seem to be in awe of, almost. It's heartening.

Many experienced doctors have a sort of tired, even annoyed attitude if you give them any "trouble" (ie: you don't lie there like a passive non-entity who does not ask questions that are too complicated while they examine you like a machine).

I think this attitude is changing. But managed care also imposes restrictions on doctors in terms of how much time they can spend with a patient and I think that impacts on how hurried and distracted a doctor may come across, as well.

--Mara5525

(To reply, click here.)

I worked as a phlebotomist at a teaching clinic, a health care clinic affiliated with a hospital where young doctors fresh out of med school do their residencies. There were about 20 residents, most between the ages of 20 and 27, and 5 supervising doctors, most of whom had been practicing for upwards of 25 years. Overall, working with the inexperienced doctors was a fantastic experience: they were cautious and methodical, careful not to miss anything, they were open to suggestions and willing to ask for help from their colleagues, and they didn't treat non-doctors like crap (which happens all too often in the caste system of the health care industry). Most of the residents made efforts to acquaint themselves personally with each patient, and often remembered the patient's name the next time he/she came in. I would highly recommend seeing a resident doctor, if only to help them learn or because it's significantly less expensive--it's a valuable experience for doctor and patient.

--teddygram85

(To reply, click here.)

This article nearly brought me to tears. As an overworked second-year resident only three or four years from the medical school experience described, it's pretty easy to forget that there are lay people, potential patients, actually out there rooting for me. In general I feel undervalued, underpaid, and looked on with undue suspicion at this point in my training. Thanks Ms. Yoffe, for reminding me that I'm here to do a good thing, and that sometimes people are pretty understanding of that!

--Kelton528

(To reply, click here.)

(7/5)

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