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- The Truth About Barack Obama
Rumors the Obama campaign shouldn't try to correct.
Christopher Beam
posted June 17, 2008 - Dirty Phone Tricks for the Presidential Campaign
Beware, some callers have hidden agendas.
Hart Seely
posted April 14, 2008 - The Fake Memoirist's Survival Guide
How to embellish your life story without getting caught.
Christopher Beam
posted March 6, 2008 - Worst Publishing Week Ever
A phony Holocaust memoir. A made-up tale of a gangland childhood. What's next?
Daniel Engber
posted March 4, 2008 - The Encyclopedia Baracktannica
Now with more words and definitions!
Chris Wilson
posted Feb. 21, 2008 - Search for more low concept articles
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Senator, Here's the Scenario …The hypothetical questions they should ask at the presidential debates.
By Hart SeelyPosted Friday, July 20, 2007, at 11:07 AM ET

On May 15, Fox News host Brit Hume brought excitement to an otherwise dull presidential debate with this question:
"Here is the premise: Three shopping centers near major U.S. cities have been hit by suicide bombers. Hundreds are dead, thousands injured. A fourth attack has been averted when the attackers were captured off the Florida coast and taken to Guantanamo Bay, where they are being questioned. U.S. intelligence believes that another larger attack is planned and could come at any time. First question to you, Senator McCain. How aggressively would you interrogate those being held at Guantanamo Bay for information about where the next attack might be?"
Here are questions that should be posed at upcoming Democratic and Republican debates.
*
Gentlemen, here's the scenario: As you are flying home from Moscow—having told the world you will never deal with terrorists—hijackers, posing as reporters, seize Air Force One. They vow to kill a hostage every half-hour, including your wife and daughter, until you release a murderous Russian general. I'll start with Senator Obama. Do you negotiate with the hijackers in the hope of saving lives, or do you flee into the bowels of the craft, then pick them off, one by one, with makeshift shanks and your bare hands?
*
Candidates, pay attention: An international financier has smuggled an atom bomb into Fort Knox. He loves only gold. Only gold. After an amazing sequence of events, including car chases, sexual conquests, and your defeat of the assassin known as Oddjob, you find yourself staring at the interior of a nuclear device. The final seconds are ticking down. This goes to you, Senator Clinton: Do you cut the blue wire, or do you cut the red wire?
*
Listen carefully: A computer from the future has sent a shape-shifting cyborg, made of prototype liquid metal, to kill you. At the last moment, the governor of California appears, saying, "Come with me, if you want to live!" We'll start with Governor Huckabee. Would you agree to run with this bizarre, Republican hybrid, if it requires you to soften your stances on gay rights and climate change?
*
Remarks from the Fray:
Senator Obama- You are on the crapper pinching out a loaf. A trap door above you is opened through which a spy sneaks and is known to have connections to Al-Qaeda's second in command, Ayman Al Zawahiri. He begins to strangle you. Fortunately, the martial arts training you studied as a child, having laid dormant for so long in the comfort of work as an attorney and as a congressman, surprisingly resurrects itself. With the speed of a cheetah and the grace of a gazelle, you use the chi-yaotze maneuver to subordinate the spy and place him into an upside down hold. The hold simplifies your ability to submerge the spy's head into the toilet water. Do you, Senator, submerge your assailant's head underwater as an interrogation tactic while asking him "who does number 2 work for?"
--shansinha79
(To reply, click here.)
Mr. Giuliani let's say hypothetically after three and half years as President there have been no Al-Quida attacks in the United States, would you then begin to address the health care crisis?
.........
Mr. Romney, What would the terrorist threat level, as determined by the combined intelligence agencies, have to be for you to turn your attention to the future insolvency of the Social Security System?
.....................
Mr. Thompson, if it was reasonably alleged that one of the prisoners in Guantanamo had information about widespread corruption amount military contractors, what integration methods would you allow? Please be specific.
Oh and a follow-up-Would the constitution, yes I mean the US Constitution play any role in your decision?
--Doug Graves
(To reply, click here.)
(7/26)
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