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Some Serious FunAnn Hulbert talks with readers about the value of kids' playtime.


Posted Friday, June 22, 2007, at 7:06 AM ET

Contributing editor Ann Hulbert was online at Washingtonpost.com on Thursday, June 21, to discuss the benefits of children's playtime. An unedited transcript of the chat follows.

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I think every family has to figure out what works for them on a daily basis, and it doesn't have to include vacations to distant places — it can be outings and day trips to nearby sites. But to hear "kids aren't getting outside enough or having enough fun," I'm not buying it. Parents don't need one more thing to feel guilty about. Come on over to our house, we're having lots of fun!

Ann Hulbert: It sounds pretty great at your house! For the upper middle class, it's definitely true that an ever more child-focused array of recreational options are out there, and lots of them give kids great experiences. Without being too nostalgic, though, I think you do suggest what some people feel has been lost: the notion of "downtime" as just part of normal kid life, not itself an interlude in a scheduled life. And I think some lament the loss of what goes along with that: an expectation of self-entertainment, an ability to deal with boredom.

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Washington: I thought the article was pretty good, but the fact of the matter is this: I just earned my MBA and moved into a director position with 24 reports. My wife is a medical doctor and part of a small practice. We lucked into a house with a $2,000 mortgage. I drive one 3-year-old car with $10,000 left on the loan. I would love for my son to have more free playtime with kids, but I'd like someone, anyone, to explain how it can happen when daycare costs $1,000 per kid in Washington and a legal nanny costs about $2,500 per month.

A house with a big yard in my parents' neighborhood sold for $2.2 million, so I'm sticking in our townhouse with a tiny yard. I talked to my parents about parking near my office — if all four of us took the Metro in to work, school and back it would be about $12 per day or $240 per month. Parking at my wife's building is $275 per month. Parking at my building is $215 per month. In that respect, $215 per month for parking is cheap! I think about having my kids stay at my sister's rural place, but her husband and kids use the N Word and other rural, racist garbage. Every time I think of getting out of the rat race, but I run into pure ignorance coming from the exurbs. Where are the carefree suburban non-racist days of my youth?

Ann Hulbert: I wonder what child care arrangement you have managed to find. I'm hoping that wherever your kids are, they're finding time to play—and other kids to play with. What can get lost in the lament for lost open spaces is the fact that there's plenty to do, too, in not very big indoor spaces—and out on sidewalks, too. And with any luck, one benefit of the non-suburban life is that there are other kids within walking distance. Still, the trials of arranging a good day care set up can be enormous, I know, and a source of constant second-guessing.

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Castro Valley, Calif.: This (excellent) discussion reminds me of Neil Postman's argument in "The Disappearance of Childhood" — that the line between childhood and adulthood is blurred, in part, because grownups are less grown-up. At some level, they want to horn in on kids' activities because they don't quite outgrow them. Do you see this as a factor?

Ann Hulbert: I think the question of the blurring of child and adult worlds is fascinating. It's surely true that plenty of the nostalgia about old-fashioned play is adult projection at this point—a response to the opposite kind of adult projection earlier, which Postman wrote about: the expectation that kids join in adult sophistication. What strikes me as the most depressing convergence is that, old and young alike, we all spend so much of our time being consumers, which can leave too little left over for much else that's fun—either adult fun, or kid fun.

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Fort Worth, Texas: What do you think of the Montessori method, with its emphasis on "work" rather than "play"? Is play-based childcare better, or just different from Montessori-based?

washingtonpost.com: Montessori turns 100 — what the hell is it? (Slate, May 19)

Ann Hulbert: My general view is that being too wedded to, or too critical of, any particular child rearing or educational system is probably a mistake. There are great Montessori schools, and kids who love them. There are also many other great ways of working play into school in more, well, playlike ways, which may suit other kids—and other parents—better. You choose what you think fits your setup best, which may well turn out to be something very practical, not philosophical at all, like which school is closest.

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Ann Hulbert: Thanks very much for joining me. It's been fun—play, not work.

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Ann Hulbert, a contributing editor, writes Slate's Sandbox column. She is the author of Raising America: Experts, Parents, and a Century of Advice About Children, as well as The Interior Castle: The Art and Life of Jean Stafford. A longtime editor and writer at the New Republic, she is now a regular contributor to the New York Times Magazine.
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