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Stop E-Mailing, Start ChattingMichael Agger answers readers' questions about e-addiction.

Posted Friday, May 4, 2007, at 12:07 PM ET

Michael Agger was online at Washingtonpost.com on Thursday, May 3, to discuss "The E-Mail Addict: Stop using, start living." An unedited transcript of the chat follows.

Michael Agger: Hi everyone. Thanks for stopping by. Let's get started. . .

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Peoria, Ill.: Isn't it better than sex?

Michael Agger: I assume you mean: "Is e-mail better than sex?" A flippant question, but also one that cuts to the center of this discussion. Many people find e-mail deeply pleasurable. It provides these little tasks that you can accomplish one-by-one.

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Atlanta: I've been in numerous meetings where almost no one is paying attention to the speaker because they're all peering at their Treos/CrackBerries. What will it take for this to be discouraged as bad business practice, especially in front of clients?

Michael Agger: My suspicion is that while some people, like yourself, see BlackBerries as rude and disrespectful to the speaker, the people actually looking at their BlackBerries feel they are projecting an aura of "busyness," i.e. look at me multi-tasking. They may even think that prospective clients will be impressed by their diligence. Or maybe they are just rude. A couple of people have written to me, in response to the story, about BlackBerry use at funerals!

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Alexandria, Va.: I admit that both my fiance and I are e-mail and "CrackBerry" addicts. However, to a point, I think our jobs perpetuate this problem. When we are expected to be available at the drop of a hat, 24/7, what are we supposed to do? I should mention that neither one of us are high-level officials, nor do we deal with issues of national security or public safety -- we're both just midlevel government people. We are going on our honeymoon this October to Europe and I constantly am being reminded by my boss that my BlackBerry will work in Europe (I'm not taking it with me, even if it costs me my job). How do you deal with a situation like this, where you're a forced e-mail addict?

Michael Agger: I really, really feel for you. You are essentially on the front lines of the e-mail problem, as you work for a boss who demands that you always available. What can you do, short of quitting your job? Marsh Egan, the woman I profiled in the article, talks a lot about "toxic e-mail cultures" at work. Change needs to come from the top. I wish there were an easy answer. You might try the argument that you will be a much more productive and creative employee if you get some time away (c'mon it's your honeymoon!) from the BlackBerry. That argument also has the advantage of being true.

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Boston: Now that I have admitted that I am powerless over my e-mail addiction, how can I get out of it and regain some semblance of control over my non-connected life?

Michael Agger: The life coaches seem to agree that it takes 21 to 28 days to change a habit. So, start now. Commit to a schedule of checking your e-mail at 10 a.m., 2 p.m., and 4 p.m. (or something). Turning off automatic send/receive is also crucial. The fundamental idea is taking ownership of e-mail -- not being reactive.

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Los Angeles: Michael -- my wife and I often sit at night with our laptops open (and usually the TV on too). It seems a little unhealthy. We talk a lot, but I fear we're both addicted to e-mail/Web surfing/laptops. Is this common? We both need our computers at home, but do you have any suggestions of ways to cut back? Thanks.

Michael Agger: I often do the same thing at night. That mindless surfing at the end of the day with the TV on can be enjoyable and relaxing. If it's bothering you though, maybe try something else. Lately I've been reading long books. It's a nice way to wind down.

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Arlington, Va.: Why do people insist on labeling any behavior they personally don't understand an "addiction"? Addiction is a chemical dependency, not just behavior someone enjoys and someone else disapproves of. So what if some people like to stay connected to the world at large so much that they check their e-mail more frequently than some other people like? Why is it anybody else's business?

Michael Agger: Good question. Classic "addiction" is certainly what you describe, but I think there is a new category of so-called "soft addictions" that e-mail falls into. And, if people like to check e-mail all the time, that's fine. On a personal level, some people feel like there e-mail checking is out of control, that they are "addicted." On a company level, people are starting to question if constant e-mail is counterproductive.

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Somerville, Mass: To producer: Please post a link to the article that Michael is discussing. Thanks!

washingtonpost.com: Apologies -- The E-Mail Addict: Stop Using, Start Living (Slate, May 3)

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The Hague, Netherlands: Talking about non-business affairs: Don't you think e-mail writing strips away richness of real human contact? I mean, one can be a really amazing and interesting person through emails, but personal contact should be sought from the beginning in order to avoid false expectations.

Michael Agger: I certainly do. Because we use e-mail all the time, it's easy to forget what a crude method of communication it is (emoticons, please). For example, just try to be sarcastic next time you send someone a note. On the other hand, e-mail seems to me a great way to maintain long-distance connection with someone you have already met face to face.

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Middletown, N.Y.: I presently am unemployed ... I am so bad that I click the send/receive button about 10 times, machine gun-style, when checking ... I even light up when I see spam ... man, this is getting bad.

Michael Agger: Good luck finding a job. Your e-mail dilemma is shared by many. E-mail is this amazing portal through which opportunity can come through at any moment. That's part of the reason why we want to check it all the time. It's like playing the lottery: maybe that life-changing e-mail will be there!

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Washington: How closely related is BlackBerry addiction to other addictions, like alcoholism? I ask this because, even though I know it's wrong, impolite and possibly dangerous, I can't seem to stop reading and responding to e-mails -- even while driving!