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Sopranos Final Season

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from: Jeffrey Goldberg
to: Timothy Noah

Lonely at the Top? It's Worse at the Bottom.

Posted Monday, April 16, 2007, at 5:37 PM ET

Timothy Noah chatted with readers about The Sopranos on June 7. Read the transcript here.

Dear Tim,

Before we get to your many points, I've been meaning to ask you to choose a mob name for yourself, because that's what we here in Mob-envy-land do.

I've thought up a few possibilities: Tim "Kid Twist" Noah, Tim "Tiny" Noah, Tim "Curls" Noah, Tim "Timmy Bats" Noah? The Mob Nickname Generator came up with Tim "The Ox" Noah. I don't know why. You're certainly not very oxlike. It spit out Jeffrey "Knuckles" Goldberg for me. I would actually prefer, if you don't mind, the name issued by my own soon-to-be-patented Imusnamegenerator.com, which has bestowed upon me "Jewboy" as my moniker. Khalid Muhammad, the one-time Nation of Islam minister, once called me a "hook-nosed motherfucker," which I don't mind, either. ("I wear your scorn like a badge of honor," I told him, the only time in my life I've ever stolen a line from Dan Quayle.) Did you know, by the way, that one of Junior Gotti's goombahs was named Stevie "The Jew" Kaplan? This was done because there was actually another Steven Kaplan associated with the Ozone Park crew, and, though Jewish, his nickname was not, in fact, "The Jew."

So let me know. Some variation of "Paulie Walnuts" maybe? "Timmy Macadamia"?

In re: Carmela, let me, without, per your request, getting too specific here (although this is not a secret from my wife), acknowledge first that the rise of Edie Falco is the greatest thing to happen to television since Mary Ann made the fateful decision to go on that three-hour tour. But what you must understand is that I don't need an Italian-American dominant-female in my life because I have a Jewish-American dominant-female in my life (not you, Mom), who is loved by me in part because she possesses those qualities one associates with Italian-American dominant-females, in that, as you put it, she takes care of business. There isn't much difference, as you surely know, between Italians and Jews (they worship Jesus, Jesus was a Jew; they eat too much, we eat too much; and, oh, by the way, Jews and Italians together invented organized crime as we know it).

By the way, one of the best pieces of advice I've heard came to me from Mario Puzo's mother by way of Mario himself, who I got to know slightly in his declining years. We were meant to have lunch one day, and I suggested to him that we go out, but he insisted on eating at home. I asked him why he was so tethered to his own kitchen, assuming the answer was culinary in nature, but he said, and here I paraphrase, "My mother always told me not to go outside because you can get hurt if you outside." In the post-9/11 universe (and, clearly, the post-Virginia Tech universe), this observation doesn't always hold true, but it's worth thinking about.

You've given me a lot to think about, and a lot for bosses everywhere to think about. But before we start feeling sorry for them (mob bosses, U.S. News & World Report bosses), let's remember that, at least in the mob, if not the newsmagazine business, substantial material rewards flow to bosses, rewards inaccessible to underlings, which is partially why we underlings squall the way we do. I have to say, I think you're excusing Tony's whining (whining that, in real life, would have gotten him killed a long time ago): Life might be bad for him, but it's still worse, in very real ways, for the people under him, though this will obviously change as we move toward the denouement, to borrow from the Italian.

On the other hand, even underlings and middle managers are occasionally freed for a fun night out, which is what I had a couple of weeks ago, at the Sopranos premiere, to which you were misinvited. It was quite a scene, actually: David Chase, surrounded by his adoring groupies in the Washington press corps. At one point, Chase had the microphone, and the assembled press—the highest-paid, most famous reporters in the land—asked him a long series of softball questions about imaginary events. I've never seen anything like it in Washington.

Obsequiously yours,
Jeffrey "Gefilte" Goldberg

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from: Jeffrey Goldberg
to: Timothy Noah

Lonely at the Top? It's Worse at the Bottom.

Posted Monday, April 16, 2007, at 5:37 PM ET

DISCUSS

E-MAIL

Jeffrey Goldberg is a national correspondent for the Atlantic and the author of Prisoners: A Story of Friendship and Terror. Stephen Metcalf is Slate's critic at large. He is working on a book about the 1980s. Timothy Noah is a senior writer at Slate. Brian Williams is the anchor and managing editor of NBC Nightly News. Terence Winter is a writer and an executive producer of The Sopranos. His teleplay "Pine Barrens," written with Tim Van Patten, won the 2001 Writers Guild Award and the Edgar Award.

Slate home page cover, June 11, 2007: Still of James Gandolfini in The Sopranos by Craig Blankenhorn © HBO. All rights reserved. Still from The Sopranos of James Gandolfini on Slate's home page; still of: James Gandolfini; Edie Falco and James Gandolfini; Steven Van Zandt, James Gandolfini, and Tony Sirico; James Gandolfini and Edie Falco; and Robert Iler all by Craig Blankenhorn/courtesy HBO. All rights reserved. Entry 9: Still of Tony with a tomato, and Entry 10: Tony's dad and young Uncle June © HBO. Entry 21: Still of Tony Sirico as Paulie "Walnuts" by Craig Blankenhorn. Entry 27: Still of Robert Iler and James Gandolfini by Craig Blankenhorn. Entry 30: Still of James Gandolfini and Sarah Shahi by Craig Blankenhorn. Entry 38: Still of Steven Van Zandt and James Gandolfini by Craig Blankenhorn. Entry 40: Still of James Gandolfini and Edie Falco by Craig Blankenhorn. Entry 45: Still of James Gandolfini and Steven Van Zandt by Craig Blankenhorn. Entry 48: Still of Dominic Chianese and James Gandolfini by Craig Blankenhorn.

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Remarks from the Fray Editor:

As a basic cable slum-dweller, the Fray Editor has been following the discussion of The Sopranos with admiration and envy. The passion, erudition, and insight of the show's fans—Slate's commentators and Fraysters alike—proves the case that this series is not to be missed. Below, Fray poster lucabrasi considers how the 6.5 season story arc has led the show inevitably to the present moment.

May this weekend's finale exceed your wildest expectations. My prediction? Paulie Walnuts in the Bing with a shoe buffer.—G.A.

Remarks from the Fray:

I must salute the excellent close of the mob wars arc that started way back in Season One.

Looking back from today, with Tony's Jersey crime family indeed looking like a "glorified crew" in the eyes of New York, one can see it, almost clearly:

Season One: Tony's issues were of ascension in that smallish Jersey family. Jackie Sr. was dying; Uncle Junior was the designated "front don," and yet bitter enough about Tony's power to use Livia's ambiguous directives to hit Tony. Didn't work. Junior was exiled and took on Federal heat; Tony had the others killed.

Season Two: Richie Aprile gets out of prison. A theme begins: guys out of prison resent Tony, who never served. But Richie, too, is "local Jersey trouble." His escalating conflict with Tony is going to be dealt with rather easily -- Tony wants Richie hit, but Janice delivers a dose of even MORE "local" justice.

Meanwhile, I think NYC underboss Johnny Sack turns up living in Jersey, but promising Tony "I don't want to wet my beak."

The main NYC Don is Carmine Sr, an old school guy. Tony can deal with Carmine Sr, but Sack starts getting that lean and hungry look...

Seasons Three and Four: Other issues are on the table (Jackie Jr., Tony and Carm's marriage), but Tony's adversaries are manageable: made guy Ralphie and the ever-more-ambitious and angry Sack. Ralphie is eliminated, quietly (if NYC ever finds out...). Sack wants Tony to hit Old Man Carmine; Tony pulls out at the last moment. Sack looks to be vengeful.

Season Five: The big trouble all starts here, with the release of the "Class of '84". It's like four Richie Apriles. Tony has a lotta plates to spin: an old-timer named Feech who wants it all, locally, Tony's cousin Tony B, the "Rockford Guy" (Joe Santos) who Tony B idolizes as a father, and a real hothead named Phil Leotardo.

Carmine Sr. croaks. Phil joins with Sack against Little Carmine, Tony B joins with the Rockford Guy and Rusty in backing Little Carmine's play. Tony elects to back off and see how Jersey can benefit from the ensuing bloodshed, of which there is a lot.

During all this, two little matters occur: Seeking owed cash, Tony subjects Phil Leotardo to a body-breaking car crash and beats up Phil at the accident site as a "throw-in." Tony B kills Phil's brother Billy Leotardo.

In retrospect, these last two actions were perhaps...unfortunate.

Sack and Phil kill more guys than Little Carmine's team. Little caves ("It's a stagmire.") Sack ascends to Donhood. Tony can deal with Sack (having killed Tony B as a burnt offering), and Sack will stave off the still vengeful Phil Leotardo.

But right at the end of Season Five, the Feds nab Sack. Go directly to jail.

Season 6A: Sack's in prison, but the putative boss, with Phil fronting him on the outside. Tony's shot for a few episodes. The "gay Vito issue" gives Phil new reason for putting the pressure on Tony's Jersey boys. With Sack losing power by the day, Phil contemplates his rages against Tony: getting beaten up by Tony, paying money to Tony, brother killed by the cousin of Tony, gay Vito protected by Tony. Phil has a heart attack to match Tony's gutshot. Things seem peaceful between these two wounded warriors. But this guy Butch turns up, taunting Tony.

Season 6B. Tony's luck with New York runs out, via a series of crap outs: Sack dies of cancer; Doc kills Gerry; Phil kills Doc.. Phil is "the big boss man," finally, and the worst possible New York Don Tony Soprano could face. Filled with jailhouse vengeance and itching to consolidate power, Phil pushes Tony too far (with the sexual insult of Coco towards Meadow, ultimately). Tony retaliates (curbing); Phil says "there's nothing left to talk about," and here we are.

Now, I' m not sure how much of that was plotted early on by Chase and Company, but looking back on it, you see how this final, fatal gang war was literally years in the making. Tony Soprano fended off Jersey threats (Junior, Richie), kept the peace with Carmine Sr, dangerously dueled with Sack (the longest of Tony's strategic encounters), sat out the gang war to replace Carmine Sr...and ended up on the wrong end of Phil's bloody ascension to the throne of the New York Family.

Where things are now is where they HAVE to be. Inevitability.

--lucabrasi

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