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Are You a Liberal Anti-Semite?Take this quiz and find out.

By Joe LanzmannPosted Friday, Feb. 2, 2007, at 1:13 PM ET

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9. Which describes your view of the Holocaust?

a) The most horrific crime in recorded history
b) A tragedy that, incidentally, gets far more hype than the Turks' slaughter of the Armenians or the white man's annihilation of the Indians
c) Child's play compared with what Iran's Ahmadinejad has planned

10. The term neoconservative suggests:

a) Erstwhile leftie radicals who grew disenchanted with the welfare state.
b) A cabal of pro-Israel intellectuals who have hijacked our foreign policy.
c) A code word for "Jews" used by the people who answered (b).

Your Results

Give yourself 1 point for each (a) answer, 2 points for each (b) answer, and 0 points for each (c) answer.

0-3: OK, you're not an anti-Semite. But you're not a liberal either. You win a lifetime subscription to Commentary and this sheaf of old AIPAC newsletters.

4-7: You display trace elements of atavistic fears. Your prize: a copy of The Plot Against America.

8-12: Phew! You're an unbigoted liberal—painfully capable of striking a middle ground and excruciatingly tolerant of all points of view. Please enjoy this complete set of Barack Obama's speeches.

13-16: You're clearly not nuts about Zion, but Abe Foxman won't be calling you just yet. To be safe, steer clear of any petitions emanating from British universities. Meanwhile, please claim your dinner with Tony Judt and two tickets to My Name Is Rachel Corrie!

17-20: You're an anti-Semite! You win a tour of synagogues in Italy, Argentina, and Turkey bombed by militants who are merely anti-Israel and not anti-Jewish. Also, an extended director's cut DVD of The Passion of the Christ.

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Joe Lanzmann is the pseudonym of a liberal Jew who fears retribution—though precisely from whom he's not sure.
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