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Zeitgeist Checklist, Iraq Study Group EditionWhat Washington is talking about this week.

By Michael GrunwaldPosted Friday, Dec. 8, 2006, at 6:38 PM ET

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Grave Is the Operative Word
1. Last week: 1 Weeks on list: 24 [FLAT ARROW] Iraq. The bipartisan Iraq Study Group declares the situation "grave and deteriorating," a finding nearly as surprising as the recent Rick James Study Group report declaring the singer "unresponsive." But the ISG does not recommend immediate troop withdrawals, instead urging talks with Syria and Iran, "national reconciliation" in Iraq, and an emergency shipment of magic pixie dust for the entire Middle East.

Sideshow Bob
2. Last week: 6 Weeks on list: 2 [UP ARROW] Pentagon. Robert Gates, President Bush's new defense secretary, is hailed for his straight talk and is swiftly confirmed after testifying that the United States isn't winning the war in Iraq. The reality-based bar is pretty low these days; the Senate tells Gates that he can also be secretary of state if he'll just admit that the Redskins won't make the playoffs.

House of Pain
3. Last week: 2 Weeks on list: 11 [DOWN ARROW] Democrats. The incoming House leadership announces the end of the three-day congressional workweek. The last Congress produced the biggest corruption scandals since the Teapot Dome working Tuesday to Thursday; just think what they'll achieve on a full-time basis. But outraged Republicans complain that keeping politicians in Washington five days a week will strain marriages. How about keeping troops in Iraq seven days a week?

Maybe We Should Try Sanctions First
4. New This Week [UP ARROW] Space. Continuing to push the boundaries of human ingenuity, NASA announces that by 2020 it plans to reach … the moon! What's next? A pill to prevent women from getting pregnant? Meanwhile, new photos indicate liquid water—and therefore, possible life—on Mars. The bipartisan Mars Study Group promptly suggests that minus-257-degree temperatures could make vacationing there "uncomfortable," but urges the Bush administration to hold talks with Mercury and Uranus before making any decisions.

Don't Laugh or Grandpa Will Shoot
5. New This Week [UP ARROW] Society. Religious conservatives express outrage at news that Mary Cheney is having a baby out of wedlock, and urge her to get married. What? They didn't urge her to get married? But the Zeitgeist thought they were religious conservatives …