HOME / dear prudence: Advice on manners and morals.

Ew, Gross!Our teenage daughter caught us having sex. Is she traumatized for life?

Posted Thursday, Dec. 7, 2006, at 6:15 AM ET

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—Family Issues

Dear Family,
Someone like you is red meat for a family like mine—I mean, your boyfriend's. Knowing they have a victim among them who blushes when the dinner-table discussion turns to hemorrhoids will only provoke them to ask your opinion about swollen rectal veins. (I come from the kind of family in which, over dinner, an uncle asked a redheaded boyfriend of mine if he had red pubic hair. The boyfriend was clever enough to point a thumb at me and say, "Ask her.") As far as their effect on your relationship with your boyfriend—why should they matter that much? How often do you get together with this clan of heathens? Since you have some appreciation for their looseness, think of them as crude entertainment. Over time you will naturally feel more comfortable in their presence, and will become less of a target (or if his family is really like mine, you'll remain a target forever). One good way to prepare yourself for the next gathering is to see the Borat movie. Then remember, they are all Borats, and the best thing for you to do is respond with unflappable amusement.

—Prudie

Prudence,
My roommate and friend is a nursery-school teacher and is constantly exposed to every germ and bug that goes around. She has brought home three viruses since the school year began just two months ago, and she's passed on every single illness to me. I have asthma, so a three-day cold for her can turn into a two-week ordeal for me. She isn't doing this on purpose—obviously, she doesn't want to get sick either—but at the same time, I can't help feeling resentful that she keeps making me ill. Short of breaking my lease, is there anything I can do to keep myself healthy? And how do I handle my anger when she comes home with yet another cold?

—Sniffly

Dear Sniff,
You could apply to the CDC to turn your apartment into a Biosafety Level 4 containment site against the germ warfare waged by the drippy-nosed set. No one likes being sick, but your resentment and anger are kind of ridiculous. Certainly you can have a talk with your roommate about her classroom hygiene. Make sure your roommate is washing her hands frequently and having her pupils do the same. Because of your vulnerability, get a flu shot and talk to your doctor about other vaccinations that might help you stay well. It's inevitable that a new nursery school teacher is going to be a human petri dish. So, since you're miserable, and since we're heading into viruses' favorite time of year, it sounds like the best way to preserve your friendship is to go your separate ways.

—Prudie