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Gelding the Ally

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from: Timothy Noah

Posted Wednesday, Aug. 30, 2006, at 5:35 PM ET

A gelding is a male horse that has been castrated. Let us presume that you, dear reader, are a man (as you may already be). Let us further presume that I own a gelding and name it after you. Would you feel:

a.) flattered
b.) indifferent
c.) amused

or

d.) insulted?

The correct answer is "d.) insulted."

Now let's add a few details. Let's presume that you are not just any man, but the president of Afghanistan, a virile and just leader who must nonetheless worry day and night about seeming too much the puppet, or ... gelding, of the United States, which more or less got you your job, and whose continued military presence is crucial to your maintaining it. And let's presume that I am chairman of a federal agency called the Broadcasting Board of Governors, which oversees all civilian overseas broadcasting conducted or sponsored by the United States government—the Voice of America, Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, and various lesser-known efforts, including Radio Sawa, Radio Farda, and Alhurra TV, all three of which are aimed at influencing the Muslim world. I am, in effect, the Bush administration's go-to guy on what is termed "public diplomacy," an awkward combination of propaganda, pop culture, and journalism aimed at promoting U.S. interests abroad.

A State Department inspector general's report (of which, alas, the public has only a summary) finds that I have used the resources of the Broadcasting Board of Governors to run my decidedly non-governmental horseracing operation. The offense doesn't seem to be terribly great, involving (at least by my testimony) only nominal use of the telephone and e-mail. But in reporting the story, Stephen Labaton of the New York Times finds that I named one of my horses "Karzai," which could be taken as a great compliment (this great leader, this manly stallion) or as a terrible insult (this pet of the United States). The Times story does not print all the news, possibly because it is not fit to print: The thoroughbred in question has had his testicles removed. That would seem to clear up any question about whether the naming gesture is likely to be seen as an insult, especially in the Middle East, where men tend to be especially touchy about this sort of thing.

Here's my question.

Now that I've gratuitously insulted a key ally, do I get fired? If not, why not?

To read the footnote in the document below, roll your mouse over the cursor.

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Not just a gelding, but one facing long odds!
hot document
entries
1
from: Timothy Noah

Posted Wednesday, Aug. 30, 2006, at 5:35 PM ET
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Timothy Noah is a senior writer at Slate.
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