Kerryism of the DayThe senator's caveats and curlicues.

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"I would never reduce the happiness of any two people^{₁ 2 3 4 5 6 7}. I've been to a commitment ceremony^₈."

—Portland, Ore., May 17, 2004 (when asked whether he would attend a gay wedding if invited by someone close to him)

[1] in life

[2] who find whatever way it is that makes them happy

[3] they believe

[4] privately

[5] and fulfills their needs

[6] and rewards them

[7] as human beings

[8] when it was a commitment ceremony

Kerry version:
"I would never reduce the happiness of any two people in life who find whatever way it is that they privately believe makes them happy and fulfills their needs and rewards them as human beings. I've been to a commitment ceremony when it was a commitment ceremony."

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William Saletan is Slate's national correspondent and author of Bearing Right: How Conservatives Won the Abortion War. Follow him on Twitter here.

Photograph of John Kerry by Marc Serota/Reuters.

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