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Is Enron Funny Yet?Heineken's jokey corporate-scandal ad.

By Rob WalkerPosted Monday, Dec. 23, 2002, at 2:39 PM ET

Remember when the fall of Enron was going to go down as a historical inflection point that forever shattered our image of corporate America? Well, at least you remember Enron—some bad guys in suits, "complex financial maneuvers," paper shredding, that sort of thing. Maybe you're even hanging on to your outrage. Meanwhile, however, there is evidence from the world of advertising that the zeitgeist has reduced business chicanery from Defining Issue of Our Time to mere punchline.

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In a recent spot from Heineken—see it by clicking the image in this paragraph—we peer through a high-rise window at an office holiday party, to the crooning of Dean Martin. "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow," sings Dino in his vaguely decadent but always seductive style, and indeed the white stuff seems to be coming down plenty thick outside. Slowly the camera tilts upward, toward the top floor. Oddly, that's where the "snow" seems to be coming from. Within, we find power-suited execs, madly snatching up papers from a fancy conference table and stuffing them into a shredder. Box after box of documentation is getting the treatment, resulting in wastebaskets full of confetti, which are promptly emptied out the window. It cascades out in little flakes, fluttering past the happy (and innocent?) workers below. While Martin warbles blithely on, titles emerge against a background of corporate-made flurries: "To all of us who weren't naughty this year … Happy Holidays." The Heineken logo appears briefly at the end.

Now wait a minute. Isn't it risky to make light of corporate malfeasance? What about all those solid Americans who showed up back when there were eight or nine congressional committees meeting daily on this subject to complain that CEOs are overpaid and selfish villains?

The answer is no, it's not risky. We've moved on. Last week the New York Times reported that former CSX honcho and Treasury secretary nominee John W. Snow will draw a pension based on 44 years of service, although he actually put in 25, and that his benefits will be based not just on his salary, but on his salary, bonus, and the value of the huge chunk of CSX stock he was awarded, meaning his former firm will pay him about $2.5 million a year for the rest of his life. As that piece noted in passing, this comes on top of a 69 percent pay hike between 1997 and 2002—he was pulling down more than $10 million annually as of last year—in a period when CSX shares fell 53 percent, lagging the S&P 500. Enrichment for mediocrity isn't criminal fraud, but it's certainly outrageous. So was there anger and wailing in the streets? No. It was a one-day story.

So the Heineken ad is in perfect sync with general attitudes about corporate excess: Nowadays it's good for a chuckle. Sure, even the beer-drinking public was probably in no mood to snicker at this sort of thing back when Congress was devoting itself to berating the suits (and, um, campaign contributors) for wrecking Middle America's 401(k)s. But that was then. Now it's the holiday season, and while news of bad corporate behavior continues apace, our attention has drifted. Hey, none of us was naughty, right? In other words, the Heineken spot is just edgy enough. It gives a feeling that this particular form of scandal was painful, but it's also something we can leave behind as 2002 fades away, with a hearty goodbye and good riddance. And Martin, of course, provides the perfect, boozily indifferent soundtrack: Never mind your troubles, partner, just have another round already.

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Rob Walker writes the Ad Report Card for Slate.

COMMENTS

Remarks From The Fray:

Of course there's a risk to mocking Enron. If even the slightest hint of a scandal at Henieken breaks out, the media will find the irony delicious.

Henieken has had trouble with anti-trust laws in Europe, which doesn't quite qualify as a scandal since a great many US companies have trouble with those same European regulations (especially the GE and Honeywell merger, defeated by the EU) but just the same, when people hear about near-volations of anti-trust regulations, the natural assumption is that not everything is above board. Henieken is asking to be held to a higher standard by running this ad, and that runs counter to their anti-trust history.

-- mfbenson

(To reply, click here.)

A quick visit to Heineken's website: heineken corp [www.heinekencorp.nl] reveals that

"Heineken wants to be a good corporate citizen. Not because this is fashionable, but because it is part of our heritage and the way in which we want to do business."

Later, they tell us that "Being transparent means being explicit." Which is why, I suppose, Heineken feels compelled to tell us…

Amsterdam, 1 March 2002
On 1 March 2002 Heineken has received a statement of objections from the European Commission. This statement of objections contains an alleged violation of the competition rules by Heineken and Carlsberg in the Dutch and Danish market. Heineken does not share the view of the European Commission and will study the case further and prepare its defence. By law Heineken has two months to submit its defence. Pending the proceedings Heineken refrains from further comments.
In 2000 other investigations were initiated in France, The Netherlands and Italy. These investigations are at an early stage and as the Commission has stated, no conclusions can as yet be drawn

As well as…

Amsterdam, 28 August 2002
Today the European Commission held an additional inquiry at the head office of Heineken N.V. in Amsterdam. The inquiry is aimed at an alleged violation of the competition rules by Heineken and Carlsberg regarding the Dutch and Danish market.
This inquiry has been on-going for some time. Heineken received a statement of objections from the European Commission on the 1st of March this year and replied to it in May 2002. Heineken is fully cooperating with the inquiry. Pending the proceedings Heineken will refrain from further comments.

Meanwhile, profits are up 11%.

"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

-- Ang_Cho

(To reply, click here.)

(12/24)

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