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The Anna Nicole Show's Druggy, Delirious Debut

By Virginia Heffernan
Posted Wednesday, Aug. 7, 2002, at 11:39 AM ET
The Anna Nicole Smith Show: a depressing spectacle

Anna Nicole Smith is not rich, but the $88.5 million is due any day now. She is a gold-digger. And she is not fat. All of this we're taught, straight up, in the informative prelude to The Anna Nicole Show, E!'s searing investigation into the life and times of a mentally ill widow who is very sexy. On Episode 1, which premiered Sunday night, Mrs. J. Howard Marshall (nee Vickie Lynn Hogan) flaunted her delirious, semiconscious stuff while house hunting. She tested beds and bathtubs, seemingly so she could get a short nap. Getting out of tubs did not come easily to her.

Anna Nicole did spend most of the show in full regalia, including spectacular pitch-black false eyelashes, which—in Platonic contrast to white-gold hair—seem to be the key to her considerable cartoon beauty. However, our heroine does tend to lurch. Depressing is not the word for it. Watching her, you begin to feel queasy, like you're getting the hangover from whatever's she's on. And therein lies the suspense of The Anna Nicole Show. Which drug is she on? Time will tell. I think it's a plain old Rx, but is it Vicodin, Percocet, or something that anesthesiologists keep in locked boxes? And is E! an enabler or what?

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Virginia Heffernan is a television critic for The New York Times. Her book, The Underminer, which she wrote with Mike Albo, comes out in February.
Still by Stewart Volland © 2002 E! Networks. All rights reserved.
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Notes From The Fray Editor:

While many lamented the brevity of Heffernan's article (even suspecting it was a ploy for more Fray), most were only too happy to have an excuse to talk about the Anna Nicole show. (No one mentioned the unrelenting hype—I mean, every time I go to read Ted Casablanca, there she is, popping up and winking at me—and no one blamed AOL Time Warner.) Some even wanted to rush to her defense. Of course, they didn't include any folks from the Child Welfare Agency.

Remarks From The Fray:

Ever wonder why Al Queda wants to annihilate us? E! Entertainment has put forth Exibit "A".

-- Max Fischer Players

(To reply, click here.)


Isn't it obvious that all that falling about and baby talk she was doing while looking at houses in the first episode was an extremely transparent act? I have no doubt that Smith is not on drugs at all but that she was trying to be interesting by pretending to be a druggie with little more success than the pathetic high school goth girls I've encountered. It is a profoundly stupid show with a borderline retarded star. Shouldn't that be enough without the fakie-fakie drug thing? She did slip once quite noticeably when she exited the sliding doors in one house and suddenly very cogently exclaimed that there was no pool--and then back to stumbling and slurring as she caught herself. I like the lawyer. Maybe he could have his own show.

-- Whit Hendon

(To reply, click here.)


...she cut out the middleman, sold herself, and kept the money!

America loved her when she was a stripper; anyone could pay a few bucks to see (and possibly touch) her naked body. She made a little money, the nightclubs made a lot. That was OK.

We loved her when she was a Playboy centerfold; anyone could pay a few bucks to see her naked body. She made a little money, Hefner made a lot. That was OK, too.

Then she met a very rich man who paid big, big bucks to see (and possibly touch) her naked body. She made a fortune, retained the lion's share (for a change) and now we hate her.

It's OK for a woman to sell images of her body as long as someone else reaps most of the profit. When there is no pimp/agent/middleman, we call her a gold-digger.

Enjoy your money, Anna Nicole. You earned it. You figured out what the smart girls did not: how to sell yourself, FOR yourself.

-- Qui Tam

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You shoulda been in Huston during the trial over her late husband's estate. We Houston area folks were subjected to the daily version of the Anna Nicole show. I really feel sorry for her son. She drug him around and subjected him to his mother's antics too. It was shameful.

-- BD

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