Randall Patterson's work has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Sports Illustrated, and The Best American Sports Writing 1999. He lives in Asheville, N.C. Seth Stevenson raced for his high school's cross-country ski team ... but he sucked, and mostly just did it on a dare. He now writes for Slate.

Who are these people?

Seth, I see now there's some major talent at these Olympics, and we gotta start working the angles. Those biathletes have been big, big, big even before they started doing James Bond flicks. And about the curlers, I'm telling you, man, they are nothing but raw endorsement potential. Brooms are a no-brainer, of course, but maybe we push the wholesome angle and cut a deal with Jell-O. And I'm on the phone with Vince McMahon now. Says he's doing the Victims of Figure Skating World Championships and wants Jamie Salé and Kerrigan in the mud as soon as possible. You want in on this?

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Randall Patterson's work has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Sports Illustrated, and The Best American Sports Writing 1999. He lives in Asheville, N.C. Seth Stevenson raced for his high school's cross-country ski team ... but he sucked, and mostly just did it on a dare. He now writes for Slate.

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