Jodi Teitelman, flight attendant. (2) - By Jodi Teitelman

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Entry 5

Posted Thursday, Jan. 3, 2002, at 11:21 AM ET

Who is this person?

To read this Diary from the beginning, click here.

Here are some answers to the questions people ask me the most frequently about my job:

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Do I get free parking?

Believe it or not, people ask me this all the time. Most definitely a comment on our society. And yes. My airline pays for it, at whatever base we fly out of.

Do I fly the same route all the time?

No. We try to fly what we prefer, but the schedules and trips we have to choose from can be different every month, or we may not have a choice if we are on reserve. Then the airline can send us wherever they need to, on very short notice.

What got me into this job?

I'd have to say my friend who works for a different airline. I was working in an office job, while he was jet-setting around the world, and he seemed to be having such a good time. I decided I didn't want to spend my 20s in an office, and I'd rather be traveling all over the world and have a flexible schedule.

Do I fly for free?

Actually, no. We do have greatly discounted tickets, but we still have to pay. And it can add up. It's a sore point, because we fly standby, which means we only get on if there is an empty seat, which would be empty anyway, so why make money off your employees?

What was training like?

In the words of Jerry Maguire, it was seven and a half weeks of "an up at dawn, pride-swallowing siege." For an educated woman, having someone tell me how to wear my hair or what lipstick would be considered "regulation" was pretty lame. On top of that, it became a really paranoia-inducing experience, as we were made to feel we were always being watched. There was even talk of cameras in the ceilings of the training center. We have to learn the emergency systems and procedures of every plane and have to get at least a 90 on every test to stay. The biggest pressure for me was that I was not about to quit or fail out of what we call "Barbie Boot Camp." Which considering how arbitrary these decisions can be, is not as easy as it sounds. I think we lost 12 people from our class. And only a few of those were for actual in-class performance. The others just kind of disappeared, I guess because they didn't fit the mold. Of course I'm not sure I did either, but I did try, for those seven and a half weeks. It was pretty intense.

Do you ever catch people having sex on the airplane?

Once in a while, people mess around. Nobody goes into those bathrooms in pairs unless it's for a special reason. But we don't necessarily interrupt. We just tell all the other flight attendants, and we all snicker at them as we walk by. On one flight, we actually lost one woman's head under a blanket in first class, after she met a professional athlete in the next seat. It wasn't pretty.

Am I member of the mile-high club?

No.

Do men hit on you?

Not really, believe it or not. In case nobody's noticed, we flight attendants can be pretty unapproachable. When we are working, we are usually all business. Of course there are some flight attendants who invite it, by shortening their skirts above regulation length, wearing heels, and perching precariously on the armrest of a usually willing passenger. But that is more rare than one would think.

Do pilots and flight attendants get together often?

No, not really. Most pilots it seems are married. But really, it's a very professional, friendly relationship we have with the pilots. We go out with them on layovers sometimes, and of course, once in a while, it happens, but not really very often. After all, most pilots are victims of CPS, or cheap pilot syndrome, which is not very attractive. I'm not sure why pilots are so cheap, but it is generally true. Also, another airline is rumored to actually have a pilots' wife club, created to prevent too much interaction between pilots and flight attendants, and I guess to try and keep their men faithful. They even rallied to make sure the pilots and flight attendants stay in different hotels on layovers. Personally, I don't think they have much to worry about.

And finally, have I ever had anything bad happen on a flight?

Fortunately I have not had any major incidents or emergencies. I did have a guy once who had a heart attack, but we were already on the ground, and he never lost consciousness. And another elderly man passed out. But I have heard the stories. Things do happen all the time, but are usually kept under control. That's really what we are there for, contrary to popular belief. In fact, we don't use 80 percent of our training unless something happens. The rest is just fluff, to make flying better. We have been known to save a life or two. People forget that we are there primarily for safety reasons. But I guess that's the point. Who wants to think about that all the time? So we just smile and try to be friendly, and when the flight is over we say, "Buh-bye." Pretty cool job, all in all.

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