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the breakfast table: An e-mail conversation about the news of the day.

Daniel, Eric, and Jennifer Mendelsohn

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from: Eric Mendelsohn

Pre-Ordered Cemetery Plots, and Other Cheery Topics

Posted Thursday, June 21, 2001, at 2:56 PM ET

Daniel and Jennifer,

Wow--it really is a depressing day here in New York. I can't tell if it's the overcast sky or all the fiddling I've done with my dosages that's getting me down (I'm on so many different mood-altering drugs at this point I've decided to have them strung as a candy necklace.) I'm also having big trouble with my computer. It's an older model, and the foot treadle keeps sticking. All the cemetery talk didn't help either. ...

By the way, I got the same phone call from Mom telling me she had bought us all plots on Long Island. She kept bragging about how cheap she had gotten them (a Gift With Purchase from Estee Lauder apparently) but when I heard the actual price, I figured she must have bought us into some kind of mass grave. Either that, or we'll all be in a weird location that justifies the price, and all our mourners will have to shuffle into the stock room of a Kinko's in order to visit the site. (Actually, Mom told me that she was very pleased with the position of the graves as we're only "two plots away from Dr. Agulnek's plot." I'm terrified to get too far into her reasoning on this one. ...)

As far as the epitaph goes, I think that old, Jewish favorite, "I told you I wasn't feeling well!" will be good enough for me.

I love Star Trek, too, Daniel. I had no idea you liked it! I have to admit, however, there was a point at which I overdosed. I remember the exact night. I turned on the TV and caught an episode that was already half over. All the characters were standing over what looked like some broken flowerpot, and I believe Bones was screaming, " Damn it, Jim, Spock's consciousness was contained in that vessel!" I was in the dark, I was mouthing the dialogue, I had a huge bowl of ice cream on my lap and a sort of nausea washed over me preventing me from watching the show for another 10 years.

And, just so that I don't get accused of not being topical, I bring you this headline from today's New York Post, "Feds Blow Lid Off Toilet-Rebate Scam."

And by the way, just to round out all the talk about animals, has anyone heard the rumor that Babe the pig has hoof-and-mouth disease?

More later,
Eric

the breakfast table
entries
123456789101112131415161718192021222324
from: Eric Mendelsohn

Pre-Ordered Cemetery Plots, and Other Cheery Topics

Posted Thursday, June 21, 2001, at 2:56 PM ET
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Daniel Mendelsohn, book critic for New York magazine, is the author of The Elusive Embrace. Eric Mendelsohn is the writer/director of the film Judy Berlin. Jennifer Mendelsohn is the author of Slate's "Keeping Tabs" column. To read their previous "Breakfast Table," click here.
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Reader Comments From The Fray:

[Thursday notes from the Fray Editor: A true "Breakfast Table" thread got going here: starting with made-up words, moving on to dead languages, salaries, and cheerful insults, plus a chance to find out which BT regular is a public defender, and what he likes about the the job (the pens are nice, and he doesn't meant penitentiaries). Another cross thread started here (OK, Amber, you are a high-maintenance troublemaker too. It was nothing personal, but you don't confine yourself to the "Breakfast Table". ) Good discussion on death penalty starts with new star Ender here. In fact, there are good threads everywhere this week, none of them staying on topic for long, and all of them involving being rude to other posters: "the only reason you are elevated [to gold stars] is so the rest of us know who to make Ad hominem attacks against."]


Daniel,

Please restrain yourself. According to my calculations, at this rate you will have used up the world's supply of parentheses (left and right) by 2:21PM on Thursday

--Keith M. Ellis


(To reply, click here.)


[Tuesday notes from the Fray Editor: By sheer chance, the Fray index at one point reads:

The Mendelsohns are back!
Appropriate Police Action

We would like to stress that the second post was on a completely different subject: we don't want the Mendelsohns getting cross with us. And we're not going near the whole 'provincial hicks' area.

One highlight of the Mendelsohn's previous "Breakfast Table" was the occasional appearance of the Missing Mendelsohn Brothers, and we have an early sighting of one here. He was replying to Arthur Stock's evocatively named "Vote for your favorite Mendelsohn here" post. Neill Hamilton is the official troublemaker to the Breakfast Table Fray, and outdid himself, below.]


It's starting well: someone has called Texas elected officials retarded. Next, as a parent of teenagers I think that sibling arguments can be awful heated. I am open to suggestions as how to provoke one among the three siblings talking this week. Perhaps one of the topics they could address is which one of them was treated best by their parents. Or perhaps they could rehash embarrassing moments that one other sibling caused. Whatever, there is lots of potential here.

--Neill Hamilton

(To reply, click here.)

[Now read how Neill Hamilton, with the grumpiness we love him for, changed his mind...]


We [Joseph Britt, Arthur Stock and Will V] shamelessly shilled for the Mendelsohns when we occupied the [Fray posters'] Breakfast Table. It didn't take long for Slate to invite them back.

Wonder if they'll return the favor...

--WillV

(To reply, click here.)


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