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the breakfast table: An e-mail conversation about the news of the day.

Daniel, Eric, and Jennifer Mendelsohn

the breakfast table
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from: Jennifer Mendelsohn

Going to the Dogs

Posted Wednesday, June 20, 2001, at 12:53 PM ET

Good morning Eric and Daniel,

Dan, you were waaay too perky this morning. You're scaring me a little, as I explained in yesterday's entry.

Which reminds me: I'm having all kinds of "Breakfast Table" déja vu. (I think there's an accent grave over that "a," but MS Word is only giving me the option of making it an å. Must know about our Swedish mishpuchah!) Last year we discussed the bichon frisé murder because it had just happened, and now we see the killer has been convicted. And Daniel, you were complaining about how unreliable New Jersey transit was last year, too! Plus ça change and all, I suppose.

In a similar vein, last year I told you about my friend's car accident (OK, it was Greg, but I didn't want to mention him by name, but now that we're all old friends and all ...) and just this past Friday the case finally went to court. (I was hoping there would be a moment like that great Brady Bunch episode where they go to court against a guy who's faking a neck injury, but someone--Mr. Brady, maybe?--throws a briefcase and said fakir has no problem whipping his neck around, unmasking himself. There was nothing that dramatic, but Greg did win. Yahoo!) I guess if we do this again next year, I'll probably still be waiting for Steve the electrician to show. And for my festhinkina ISP to get my DSL installed. It's been six months, and in desperation I just wrote a letter to the president of the company explaining that I'm starting to feel like I'm in a Kafka novel: I keep having conversations with customer service people, and then the next time I call there's no record of any prior conversation. And yesterday I e-mailed this long, detailed rant of a complaint to their customer service department, only to get an e-mail in return that read, in its entirety, "Hello Jennifer. Thank you for contacting Earthlink Customer Service. If you have further questions, please feel free to contact us. Thank you." Hullloooooo??? Anyone hooooooooome? Hey--speaking of which, Dan, after your complaints about HMOs the other day, I got a check in the mail yesterday for $59 from Georgetown Hospital--an overpayment for a 1999 doctor visit. I almost fell off the couch.

But back to the bichon frisé, not to be confused with the bichon arugula. (See what I mean?) Murdering animals is something I can't in good conscience let you joke about, D. Don't you realize how many serial killers start out that way? I'll only let myself say one mean thing: I thought bichons were dogs that only people on Long Island had. They seem more like decorative pillows than actual animals. ...

There is a most definite canine theme going on this morning. I can't decide which I'm more enthralled by: the story of the lhasa apso (another very Long Island dog, btw) that was returned to its owners six years after it ran away or the story about the 10-year-old Chilean boy who had been living with a pack of wild dogs for two years? On second thought, no contest. Dog boy rules! But then again, I am a total sucker for a good feral child story.

Finally, "Fray" regular Arthur Stock asks if there are any pictures of us on our photographer brother Matt's Web site. As I explained in The Fray, indeed there are. Go to the "Dogs" section of the "Portraits" page. We're the dogs.

Ruff, Ruff.

Jennifer

P.S.: Matt's been posting up a storm in the Fray. Where's Andrew?

the breakfast table
entries
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from: Jennifer Mendelsohn

Going to the Dogs

Posted Wednesday, June 20, 2001, at 12:53 PM ET
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Daniel Mendelsohn, book critic for New York magazine, is the author of The Elusive Embrace. Eric Mendelsohn is the writer/director of the film Judy Berlin. Jennifer Mendelsohn is the author of Slate's "Keeping Tabs" column. To read their previous "Breakfast Table," click here.
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Reader Comments From The Fray:

[Thursday notes from the Fray Editor: A true "Breakfast Table" thread got going here: starting with made-up words, moving on to dead languages, salaries, and cheerful insults, plus a chance to find out which BT regular is a public defender, and what he likes about the the job (the pens are nice, and he doesn't meant penitentiaries). Another cross thread started here (OK, Amber, you are a high-maintenance troublemaker too. It was nothing personal, but you don't confine yourself to the "Breakfast Table". ) Good discussion on death penalty starts with new star Ender here. In fact, there are good threads everywhere this week, none of them staying on topic for long, and all of them involving being rude to other posters: "the only reason you are elevated [to gold stars] is so the rest of us know who to make Ad hominem attacks against."]


Daniel,

Please restrain yourself. According to my calculations, at this rate you will have used up the world's supply of parentheses (left and right) by 2:21PM on Thursday

--Keith M. Ellis


(To reply, click here.)


[Tuesday notes from the Fray Editor: By sheer chance, the Fray index at one point reads:

The Mendelsohns are back!
Appropriate Police Action

We would like to stress that the second post was on a completely different subject: we don't want the Mendelsohns getting cross with us. And we're not going near the whole 'provincial hicks' area.

One highlight of the Mendelsohn's previous "Breakfast Table" was the occasional appearance of the Missing Mendelsohn Brothers, and we have an early sighting of one here. He was replying to Arthur Stock's evocatively named "Vote for your favorite Mendelsohn here" post. Neill Hamilton is the official troublemaker to the Breakfast Table Fray, and outdid himself, below.]


It's starting well: someone has called Texas elected officials retarded. Next, as a parent of teenagers I think that sibling arguments can be awful heated. I am open to suggestions as how to provoke one among the three siblings talking this week. Perhaps one of the topics they could address is which one of them was treated best by their parents. Or perhaps they could rehash embarrassing moments that one other sibling caused. Whatever, there is lots of potential here.

--Neill Hamilton

(To reply, click here.)

[Now read how Neill Hamilton, with the grumpiness we love him for, changed his mind...]


We [Joseph Britt, Arthur Stock and Will V] shamelessly shilled for the Mendelsohns when we occupied the [Fray posters'] Breakfast Table. It didn't take long for Slate to invite them back.

Wonder if they'll return the favor...

--WillV

(To reply, click here.)


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