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Daniel, Eric, and Jennifer Mendelsohn

the breakfast table
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from: Eric Mendelsohn

Early To Rise and Other Foreign Concepts

Posted Tuesday, June 19, 2001, at 1:03 PM ET

Dear Daniel and Jennifer,

It was nice to hear from both of you this morning and get paid for it.

Dan, I actually awoke with a "taphophilic" smile on my face, only to realize it was simply that my night brace had shifted while I slept. The entire mechanism had somehow slipped inside my mouth, creating an effect most commonly associated with certain sub-Saharan cultures.

I would have to admit that I side with Jennifer when it comes to being an early riser. "Sleeping in" to me means sometime around late spring. It is long past the last frost of the planting season before I am ready to face the day with a cup of coffee.

I like the idea of having Swedish relatives. What fun! When you find them, Daniel, and you think it's the proper time, ask them if they do porn. (On that note, Jennifer--the mental image of an electrician who is going "to grapple with" your "circuit breaker" was more than I was able to digest.)

I really wanted to bring the level of my conversation up this morning and talk about some of the issues that you guys mentioned, but then I realized that I would probably have to go out and get the newspaper, and then the whole idea just sort of started to smell. It's no secret--I can't compete with you guys. You always seem to be "in the know" about all that insider "newsy" stuff like who the vice president is and what that whole checks and balances thing is all about. I still giggle when I hear them say on the news that "The president is trying to push his package through the House. ..."

So anyway, in the spirit of provincialism, I thought I would make up some headlines we could talk about from New York's downtown paper, the Village Voice:

GAY COPS CONTROL THE 4H

THE UNDERWORLD OF HASIDIC GRAFFITI ARTISTS

LUNCH LADY KICKBACKS

There, that should keep us going for a while.

Yours,
Eric

the breakfast table
entries
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from: Eric Mendelsohn

Early To Rise and Other Foreign Concepts

Posted Tuesday, June 19, 2001, at 1:03 PM ET
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Daniel Mendelsohn, book critic for New York magazine, is the author of The Elusive Embrace. Eric Mendelsohn is the writer/director of the film Judy Berlin. Jennifer Mendelsohn is the author of Slate's "Keeping Tabs" column. To read their previous "Breakfast Table," click here.
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Reader Comments From The Fray:

[Thursday notes from the Fray Editor: A true "Breakfast Table" thread got going here: starting with made-up words, moving on to dead languages, salaries, and cheerful insults, plus a chance to find out which BT regular is a public defender, and what he likes about the the job (the pens are nice, and he doesn't meant penitentiaries). Another cross thread started here (OK, Amber, you are a high-maintenance troublemaker too. It was nothing personal, but you don't confine yourself to the "Breakfast Table". ) Good discussion on death penalty starts with new star Ender here. In fact, there are good threads everywhere this week, none of them staying on topic for long, and all of them involving being rude to other posters: "the only reason you are elevated [to gold stars] is so the rest of us know who to make Ad hominem attacks against."]


Daniel,

Please restrain yourself. According to my calculations, at this rate you will have used up the world's supply of parentheses (left and right) by 2:21PM on Thursday

--Keith M. Ellis


(To reply, click here.)


[Tuesday notes from the Fray Editor: By sheer chance, the Fray index at one point reads:

The Mendelsohns are back!
Appropriate Police Action

We would like to stress that the second post was on a completely different subject: we don't want the Mendelsohns getting cross with us. And we're not going near the whole 'provincial hicks' area.

One highlight of the Mendelsohn's previous "Breakfast Table" was the occasional appearance of the Missing Mendelsohn Brothers, and we have an early sighting of one here. He was replying to Arthur Stock's evocatively named "Vote for your favorite Mendelsohn here" post. Neill Hamilton is the official troublemaker to the Breakfast Table Fray, and outdid himself, below.]


It's starting well: someone has called Texas elected officials retarded. Next, as a parent of teenagers I think that sibling arguments can be awful heated. I am open to suggestions as how to provoke one among the three siblings talking this week. Perhaps one of the topics they could address is which one of them was treated best by their parents. Or perhaps they could rehash embarrassing moments that one other sibling caused. Whatever, there is lots of potential here.

--Neill Hamilton

(To reply, click here.)

[Now read how Neill Hamilton, with the grumpiness we love him for, changed his mind...]


We [Joseph Britt, Arthur Stock and Will V] shamelessly shilled for the Mendelsohns when we occupied the [Fray posters'] Breakfast Table. It didn't take long for Slate to invite them back.

Wonder if they'll return the favor...

--WillV

(To reply, click here.)


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