The Sopranos: Week 11, Season 3

Dear Phil, Margaret, and Glen,

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Freud talked about what he called a fundamental emotional tie. He thought that such diverse phenomena as group formation (for example, in the Army or a church), love relations, a hypnotist's influence over his subject, and, of course, transference were all based on it. But he wasn't very detailed about the nature of that tie. Being a psychologist of the "father complex," to the extent he discussed it, Freud tended to explain that tie in terms of the young child's relation to his or her father. Since Freud's death, however, we have learned much more about the early mother-child relationship--indeed, you can say most of the major discoveries in psychoanalysis over the past 50 years have been made in this area. Today we would tend to understand the nature of that fundamental emotional tie in terms of that relationship.

This brings us back to the question of what it means for psychoanalysis or psychotherapy to be transplanted from a basically Jewish context to an Italian setting. When Freud discussed religion, he primarily referred to Judaism, "the religion of the fathers." And when he talked about Catholicism, he emphasized the fact that, with the Madonna, it had reintroduced the importance of the mother, something the ancient patriarchal Hebrews had purged from earlier mother-centered religions. Though he loved Italy and traveled in the North extensively, Freud had a phobia about going to Rome, and in fact it took several false starts before he was finally able to enter the seat of world Catholicism. It has been remarked that perhaps one of the things that prevented him from entering Rome was his fear about confronting Catholicism and, with it, the power that the mother exerts in all of our lives--and especially in Italian culture.

For Tony, there are three important women in his contemporary life: Carmela, Dr. Melfi, and Gloria. But behind them stands Livia, the incarnation of "the bad mother"--who literally tried to have Tony whacked. Now, if anything cuts across analytic schools today, it is the belief that the main way into patients' emotional lives, and therefore into helping them, is through transference. By "transference," I simply mean the emotional tie patients develop toward their analysts, in which they recreate many of the important relationships and experiences of their lives. Tonight, Tony acknowledges to Jennifer that he understands the depth of his tie to her--a crucial point in any treatment--and the fact that she has become the model for his choice in lovers. When first asked why he chose Gloria, Tony replies, "She's smart, sexy, and Italian." And in one of two great pieces of "the analysis of resistance" that occur in this hour, Melfi replies what's with this Italian stuff, "Is this West Side Story?" Then Tony finally acknowledges it, "She kind of reminds me of you." But no sooner has he said it than he starts to back off and claims it's actually because she has great legs. And then comes Jennifer's second great piece of "resistance analysis," namely, "Joke around if you want, it's your dime."

With Tony's relationship to Gloria, we actually see both his yearning for the "good mother" and his tie to the "bad." When he feels in contact with Jennifer through Gloria--that is, with someone who is devoted, constant, reliable, nonintrusive and relatively noncritical--he feels "relaxed and happy." But Jennifer is right on the mark when she keeps pressing Tony on the real Gloria, behind his fantasy image of her. Does she strike him as a "happy" woman?

I want to pause here and comment on the use of music in tonight's show. The episode opens with Van Morrison's rendition of "Gloria," which befits all the manic excitement of Tony's tough new lover from New Jersey. (Let's not forget that the "Gloria" is also part of Mass.) But in the transition to the final therapy session of the episode, with the four men driving back from the Jersey Pine Barrens--where the elemental issues of survival itself, cold, hunger, and aggression have been starkly confronted--a divine soprano voice arises in the background, singing an Italian song. It could be the voice of the Madonna herself. And then in the session itself, Tony acknowledges that "one minute" Gloria "is fine, the next minute she's a fucking lunatic." When Jennifer asks him why he repeatedly chooses women who are unhappy, volatile, and impossible to please--his Russian mistress was from the same mold--the answer is self-evident: Livia. As the analysts used to say in the old days, while Tony thinks he's choosing Eros, he's really seeking out not just unhappiness, but death.

Joel

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