the breakfast table
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- The Supreme Court Breakfast Table
Should there be a shooting range next to the Supreme Court gift shop?
Walter Dellinger
posted June 27, 2008 - The Supreme Court Breakfast Table
Was it ever Miller time?
Dahlia Lithwick
posted June 26, 2008 - What's the Big Secret?
Continuing the conversation.
Patrick Radden Keefe
posted Aug. 30, 2007 - A Supreme Court Conversation
Everything convservatives should abhor.
Walter Dellinger
posted June 29, 2007 - The Midterm Elections
The blame game, George Allen, and more.
Mark Halperin
posted Nov. 3, 2006 - Search for more the breakfast table articles
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William F. Buckley Jr. and Michael Kinsley
What About My Needs?
Posted Monday, March 26, 2001, at 7:42 PM ETMichael Kinsley reminisced on the late William F. Buckley during an online chat on Feb. 28, 2008. Read the transcript.
Dear Mr. Buckley:
OK. I thought that you were breaking the rules, but it seems that I may have been breaking the rules. Perhaps salutations and surnames really are the sort of thing the Buckleys discuss over breakfast (rather than campaign-finance reform, like normal people). So I'm in, with the following points.
1. Should I not be unhappy, or less happy (you ask), with the culture of universal first names because it makes you wince to be first-named by a computer salesman? Sure, anything that makes you unhappy reduces my own happiness. (About some other conservative commentators the opposite is true. This makes life difficult. I am constantly forced to ask myself whether the pleasure something brings to Bill Buckley is worth the pleasure it might bring to Bob Novak.) Ideally, everyone should be addressed the way he or she prefers. I can be Mike, and you can be Mr. Buckley. (Although, come to think of it, I also would prefer to be addressed as Mr. Buckley.) The trouble is, there is no way for strangers like the computer salesman to know your preference. Name tags might work, and many of us might be grateful for the help even with people we know. ("Why hello there, um, er ... Mom!") But name tags gum up your clothes and fall off. I think perhaps tattoos. If it said "Mr. Buckley" across your forehead, no one would dare call you Bill.
2. Meanwhile, though, what about my needs? It makes me wince to be called Mr. Kinsley or, worse, Sir, by strangers such as salespeople and waiters, just as it makes you wince to be called William or Bill. (Close friends are welcome to call me Sir--or Mr. Buckley.) So does my unhappiness in these situations mitigate your pleasure? Since there is no way we both can be made happy here, is there any reason that your wincing should carry more weight than mine?
3. And didn't you ever wince the other way? I hope it is no insult to say you have reached an age at which you rarely encounter a waiter or hotel bellhop older than yourself. Therefore, you can graciously accept linguistic deference as honoring your years rather than any presumed social superiority. But when you were younger, weren't you ever uncomfortable when an older person called you Sir or grabbed your suitcase to carry for you? Would you at least agree that (except between adults and children) the practice should be symmetrical? Or are you comfortable, perhaps based on your Southern heritage, with situations where all the mistering goes one way?
4. What's the party line on the growing practice, in written salutations, of using both first and last name? E.g., "Dear William Buckley ..." Clever evasion? Or new grotesque?
I see now that this is a vast topic with many tributaries yet to be explored. But you may also change the subject if you'd like. You're the guest.
Best wishes,
Sir Mike ("Mr. Buckley") Kinsley
What About My Needs?
Posted Monday, March 26, 2001, at 7:42 PM ETReader Comments from The Fray:
[Thursday notes from the Fray Editor: Bruce F. Cole appears to be addressing here some amalgamated version of the two distinguished Breakfast Tablers, but we never let that sort of consideration stand in the way of a cheap shot in The Fray. A couple of readers pointed out that the Girard bequest to which Mr. Buckley refers (Wednesday) was made in the 1840s; the Supreme Court struck down its whites-only provision in 1968. Tom R (yes, again) writes about diversity with the memorable sentence "Working for the Air Force you get all sorts of opportunities to find out how to discriminate against other people, sexually prey on their weaknesses, steal the government's money, and solicit bribes from government contractors." There appears to be some attempt to link this description with Slate, but best left hidden we think.]
Boycotts are for sissies. The Yale students planning a boycott of Clinton's appearance are only doing it to draw attention to themselves. They deserve no such attention. Boycotting a speech doesn't do anything. It doesn't even say anything. It just sort of suggests that people who do not want to do or even say anything want very badly to look as if they are.
Do these Yalies disapprove of Sen. Clinton, or what she represents? Fine; let them show in their post-Yale lives that they stand for something better. That would be a statement worth making. Right now it doesn't sound as if they have anything to say.
--Joseph Britt
(To reply, click here.)
[Wednesday notes from the Fray Editor: The Fray is divided into two camps: those who think modes of address a dull topic, and those who cannot pile their perceptions in fast enough. There is also a meta-level of discussion as to what makes a good "Breakfast Table" and a good Fray--see for example Charmy, here. Alexander Chancellor raises an excellent point about possible national differences in formality.
Those who could tear themselves away from names wanted to discuss affirmative action here, and here ("I'm confused, they're both wrong"). Tom R, in addition to the contribution below, revealed that he once received a memorably specific grant for being an "exceptional married engineering student who planned to attend grad school". We're sure you deserved it Tom. More good stories here and here.
Publius wants the Fray Editor to ask Mr Buckley a question, but Zeitguy knows why she can't: "We talk to Kinsley, Kinsley talks to God, God sends email to Buckley..."]
Being an old friend of Michael or Mike Kinsley, yet still undecided whether to call him Mike or Michael, I am particularly interested in this correspondence. I tend towards calling him Michael, not because I object to "Mike" in any way at all but because I am British and somehow assume that "Michael" is what would be expected of me by Americans, even though Britain long ago became a nation of "Mikes" rather than "Michaels". When I was editor of the Spectator in the 1970s, I published a couple of rather dull articles by a young lawyer under the name Anthony Blair. He is now Prime Minister and would be appalled if anyone called him anything other than Tony.
--Alexander Chancellor
(To reply, or to read this post in full, click here.)
If, as Mr. Kinsley suggests, Mr. Buckley must defend his preference for civilized formality on grounds other than tradition, it seems to me Kinsley should argue for informality on grounds other than its current vogue among Internet users. They've also made all-lowercase the standard for email, but we're in no rush to adopt that as general usage.
--Scott Dickensheets
(To reply, click here.)
Harvard may be privately controlled but it's larded with government funding in both its research programs and in government subsidies for basic education programs. I'd only accept Mr. Buckley's concept about affirmative action being acceptable for the private sector if in fact Harvard (or any other private college) could set up some sort of 'Chinese Wall' to segregate the publicly funded segments from the privately funded segments. The latter then could come under the Buckley programmatic blessing.
--Tom R
(To reply, click here.)
[Monday notes from the Fray Editor: It would be quite an achievement to be considered the biggest troublemaker on the Fray, but we may have a contender: step forward Neill Hamilton. We are naturally not going to publish the offending post, in which he tries to turn Breakfast Tablers against each other, but we will tell you that he has tried this in the past (here and here) and made a notably bad taste post which required a special reader warning. Amber, below, is doing her best, too.]
Two thoughts for Mr. Buckley: The nicknamed figures of stature you mention are Southerners. For reasons I've never quite plumbed, given names are normally shortened there (I accepted the same sort of abbreviation during several years in the South), regardless of the formality of the situation. Yankees adopt nicknames less consistently.
As a New Yorker somewhere in age between you and Michael Kinsley, I can't escape thinking of you as Mr. Buckley and him as Michael. Age evidently has something to do with it. In print, his bylines are always Michael, but he's a leader in an industry largely run by and for an even younger generation, one far less formal than either of you.
The more interesting question might be if it matters at all in this era. A great many Southerners command respect whatever they're called.
--Ellie C
(To reply, click here.)
What do your parents call you when you are in trouble? By your nickname or by your full name? Seems to me William, and poor Christopher, were awful children who did nothing but get into mischief and trouble. They are just used to being called by their full names.
--Amber
(To reply, click here.)
(3/26)
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