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Meghan Daum and Rob Walker

the breakfast table
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from: Rob Walker

More Sorrow

Posted Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2001, at 6:08 PM ET

Meghan,

I have my doubts that Brad Pitt was actually "showing" sophistication, although it's possible that what he said might be open to sophisticated interpretation. Anyway, I'm not supposed to mount a spirited defense of the institution of marriage, am I? I also have to admit that I have no idea who Ellen Fein is. What does it mean to be a "guerilla" husband finder? It doesn't sound very romantic. I don't mind cans of worms, but I'm not sure what to do with this one.

I'm mildly surprised to find you as worked up about all those apologies you mention, particularly the one issued by the U.S. Navy. I guess there are two ways to think about an apology situation: From the point of view of the one apologizing and from the point of view of the aggrieved. The apologizer, as you suggest, has a sort of hopeless job and can only hope to "make amends" and "demonstrate remorse." What does the aggrieved want? Your hypothetical better message from the Navy points to the answer: justice. This, of course, suggests that it's not exactly true, as the apologizer believes, that "nothing more can be done about the situation." Justice can be done, always and no matter what the circumstances. Or so the aggrieved tend to believe.

Even as we speak, of course, it's been argued elsewhere in Slate that Clinton ought to "grovel" for forgiveness regarding the foolish Marc Rich pardon. This is what Fukuyama was trying to say, I suppose, in his WSJ piece, and perhaps it's a good idea--assuming that you're interested in Clinton finding a way to salvage his "legacy," which I'm not. But I have a feeling that even if Clinton could muster authentic contrition, it would not be enough because for whatever reason a very large number of people seem to agree with your line that most such apologies are more about assuaging guilt than anything else. And if you start from there, then obviously no apology--from the Navy, Clinton, or anyone else--can really measure up. But this says as much about the expectations of the aggrieved as it does about the intentions of the sorry.

Which leaves us where? Well, somewhere close to the realm of farce, I guess. Not surprising, since this line of thought all sprang from the Journal's op-ed page.

Lacking answers, I'll resort to questions. What is Titus? Do you follow Temptation Island? Have you made new friends in Nebraska?

I never got around to watching Temptation Island, but I do like reading about the various new concepts for reality shows, and I gather there's one in the works that is a "real life version of The Love Boat." Which reminds me: Happy birthday to Gavin MacLeod. He is 70.

rw

the breakfast table
entries
12345678910111213141516
from: Rob Walker

More Sorrow

Posted Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2001, at 6:08 PM ET
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Meghan Daum's essay collection, My Misspent Youth, will be published in March. Rob Walker, a journalist living in New Orleans, writes Slate's "Moneybox" column.
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Reader Comment From The Fray:


I have a suggestion for some 'reality based' TV programs. How about Refugee Boat? We could take contestants and put them in a third world, war torn country and give them thirty days to figure out how to make a raft, find food and get set afloat before despotic soldiers order them to dig their own graves.

Or, how about Street Survival? In this one, the contestants must survive three months on the street with only the clothes on their backs and no identification. They would be required to jump trains, sleep outdoors in alleyways and in shelters, and generally try to survive their new found compatriots, welfare rolls and dumpster diving.

And, how about this beauty? Prison Guards would be a reality based show where one would become a prison guard in one of the most feared prisons in the United States. In this show contestants get thirty days training and then must work as a prison guard in the most violence-prone sectors of the prison for at least two months. Talk about ratings! I know that I would personally be glued to the screen.

Let's give vanity and greed a real price. Instead of paying people to play the mind games most of us have to wade through in our regular work week, let's up the ante a little. I can't wait until the spotlights burn and we get to see one of these numbnuts have to face a freight train's worth of trouble rushing headlong into them.

--Rogue

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